Comment from dmt1967

Excellent

I knew id read chapter 1 one day lol as I have said good revamp of the bible story I think if the bible was like this more kids would read it thank you for sharing

 Comment Written 02-May-2013

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reply by the author on 02-May-2013

Thanks so much. =} Rox

Comment from adewpearl

Excellent

solid rhyming couplets with good proximate rhyme in man/command
good alliteration in father's favorite and mere man
You introduce the plot and main character well and deliver a strong message in this chapter's closing
Brooke

 Comment Written 02-May-2013

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reply by the author on 02-May-2013

Thanks so much Brooke, Roxanna

Comment from barkingdog

Excellent

I'm going to read your Joseph poems this morning. I love this beginning. It's easy to read and shows us his brothers' jealousy and Jacob's grief.

Fine rhyming couplets, Rox.

 Comment Written 01-May-2013

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reply by the author on 01-May-2013

Thank you. =}

Comment from GWinterwin

Exceptional

Such a beautiful story in this poem about Joseph. I love short stories told in the form of a poem. Your words flow is great in the rhyming is very good in this major story even better. You done a great job of telling the story of Joseph and his brothers. Keep up the good work, thank you for sharing it with us.

 Comment Written 30-Apr-2013

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reply by the author on 30-Apr-2013

Thanks so much.

Comment from Writingfundimension

Excellent

Hi, Rox. Your rhymes help this poem to flow wonderfully. I've always loved the story of Joseph and his coat of many colors. I'm looking forward to reading your second poem on the story of Joseph. Well done!

Warmest regards, Bev

 Comment Written 30-Apr-2013

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reply by the author on 30-Apr-2013

Thanks so much Bev, I still have 3 parts to go. It's a long story. =} Rox

reply by Writingfundimension on 01-May-2013

Yes, it is, but doesn't seem like it in poetry form. You're very welcome, Rox. Hugs, Bev

Comment from reconciled

Excellent

I know this example well....can't wait to see what you do with part two...-wink- exceptional....sorry I'm out of yellow crosses.. When I read the story the first time...I knew...when Jacob gave the coat...and showed so much favor toward his youngest....it would cause jealous ....but even in our carelessness...He is. Alright good stuff ...love you Michael

 Comment Written 30-Apr-2013

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reply by the author on 30-Apr-2013

Thank you Michael. There are 3 more parts to go. This is a long story =} and is so amazing. Roxanna

reply by reconciled on 30-Apr-2013

yes Rox I know the story well.....can't wait...-wink-

Comment from nancyjam

Excellent

The is a good re-telling of the story of Joseph.
Strong rhyming couplets and vivid images
make for an entertaining read.
I like the message expressed in your last
four lines.

 Comment Written 30-Apr-2013

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reply by the author on 30-Apr-2013

Thank you Nancy, Rox

Comment from TAB_that's me

Excellent

This is a great summary of the Genesis story of Joseph and his brothers. I like the rhyme and it flows smooth. Blessings to you.
~Teresa~

 Comment Written 30-Apr-2013

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reply by the author on 30-Apr-2013

Thanks so much. Rox

Comment from mikenbel

Excellent

This was a beautiful poem that really recounts in a very poetic form, the first part of Joseph's life. I believe in line 25 "naught" instead of "not" would lend a more poetic flair.

 Comment Written 30-Apr-2013

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reply by the author on 30-Apr-2013

Yes I knew there was another not, but I just couldn't think of it. Thank you. Rox =}

Comment from NicciFaye

Excellent

Glory to God - this is beautiful. So truthfully poetic. You did well at expressing this story of ages in poetic ensemble.
"Magically they become virile young men disguised in geriatric bodies."

Lovely

 Comment Written 30-Apr-2013

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reply by the author on 30-Apr-2013

Thanks so much.