The Mayors' Stroll
It ain't always wise to let it all hang out...32 total reviews
Comment from Dustybones
Hi, Buddy, well this isn't to much horror, unless the Mayor has a head of a beast showing because of a shortage at the jeans button factory. ( that is a old sayin' for your zippers down)
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2013
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Hi, Buddy, well this isn't to much horror, unless the Mayor has a head of a beast showing because of a shortage at the jeans button factory. ( that is a old sayin' for your zippers down)
Comment Written 26-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2013
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Nope, it's not horrifying at all. Not unless you're standing in front of a crowded room full of people with your schlong hangin' out. It's scary enough to you when you realize it. But it's absolutely terrifying to all of the 60 and 70 something ladies seated in the front row!
Yanks for the great review...heh, oops. I mean "Thanks"
Comment from Titanx9
The rhyming is unique and fascinating with its fluidity and evenness. It's a compelling poem with a hilarious message. The poor major thinking himself the pariah was ready to flip off the whole town. Thanks for a delightful and creative read!
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2013
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The rhyming is unique and fascinating with its fluidity and evenness. It's a compelling poem with a hilarious message. The poor major thinking himself the pariah was ready to flip off the whole town. Thanks for a delightful and creative read!
Comment Written 25-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2013
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I thank you for taking the time to read and review The Mayors Stroll. I appreciate your thoughtful comments and I'm really glad that you liked it.
DK
Comment from Npenny
Hysterical! And so clever. A lot of time was spent on this, i imagine, turning story into rhyme. What a fun poem, and a really good work! I gave you high stars for imaginative verse, ability to paint a story in a poem, and excellent word choice.
Good job!
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2013
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Hysterical! And so clever. A lot of time was spent on this, i imagine, turning story into rhyme. What a fun poem, and a really good work! I gave you high stars for imaginative verse, ability to paint a story in a poem, and excellent word choice.
Good job!
Comment Written 24-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2013
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Thanks so much Npenny for such a wonderful review. I am sincerely happy the you enjoyed the piece.
Comment from bichonfrisegirl
Hahahaha .... loved the humour in this write.
A very fun poem with many vivid images created for your reader. Great rhyming and flow. It certainly captured and held my interest from beginning to end.
Well penned and presented!
bichonfrisegirl aka Connie
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2013
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Hahahaha .... loved the humour in this write.
A very fun poem with many vivid images created for your reader. Great rhyming and flow. It certainly captured and held my interest from beginning to end.
Well penned and presented!
bichonfrisegirl aka Connie
Comment Written 24-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2013
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Thanks Connie. The Mayor of Yoken, as well as myself, greatly appreciate your read and kind commentary!
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LOL .... I hope that you AND the Mayor of Yokum have a very nice day! :)
Connie
Comment from God's Writer
Thank you for this witty and very comical poem. I am sorry I am out of sixes, but 6 sixes would not do for this poem. Thank you I learned a lot today.
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2013
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Thank you for this witty and very comical poem. I am sorry I am out of sixes, but 6 sixes would not do for this poem. Thank you I learned a lot today.
Comment Written 24-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2013
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Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review The Mayors' Stroll HP. I sincerely appreciate that.
And hey, I'll take five stars over the lesser alternatives any day, LOL!
Thanks again.
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You are a grand poet my friend. Every poet that ever lived always could have gotten better.
Comment from J. Dark
This is brilliant, Dean. I love the AAAB rhyme scheme which is an unusual one, but one I favour myself on occasion. Your rhythm and flow are awesome,but best of all this is genuinely funny. So much humour poetry fails to actually be funny but you have hit the nail on the head. I appreciated the chuckle this gave me.
Kindest of regards,
Julie :-)
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2013
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This is brilliant, Dean. I love the AAAB rhyme scheme which is an unusual one, but one I favour myself on occasion. Your rhythm and flow are awesome,but best of all this is genuinely funny. So much humour poetry fails to actually be funny but you have hit the nail on the head. I appreciated the chuckle this gave me.
Kindest of regards,
Julie :-)
Comment Written 24-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2013
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There is no greater compliment to a writer than to be told his or her writing has elicited a genuine belly-laugh or two from them. Unless of course they had not intended the writing to be funny. That would be on the rather devastating side, LOL!
Thanks for such a wonderful review, and thanks first and foremost for giving The Mayors' Stroll a shot to begin with. I appreciate it!
Comment from NHazelwood
I enjoyed your poem so much I giggled! Poor Mr Mayor! I especially like the story element of this poem how each line took you through the streets and the reactions from other characters!
Thanks for sharing!
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2013
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I enjoyed your poem so much I giggled! Poor Mr Mayor! I especially like the story element of this poem how each line took you through the streets and the reactions from other characters!
Thanks for sharing!
Comment Written 24-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2013
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Thank you for taking the time to read and review it. I really do appreciate it!
Comment from jppoet
THIS IS A MASTERPIECE! SUPERBLY CRAFTED, WITH EVERY LAST LINE IN RHYME. I HAD THE FEELING THAT "YOKEN" WAS A CLUTCH AT A RHYME (IS IT A REAL TOWN SOMEWHERE?) FELT HOBOKEN
WOULD HAVE BEEN MORE FAMILIAR TO FOLKS. NO MATTER, THE SURPRISE ENDING WAS GREAT -- AND NOT UNREALISTIC EXACTLY THE SAME THING HAPPENED TO ME IN A A LONDON SPEECH ATTENDED BY 800 TELECOM PEOPLE. I COULD USUALLY CAPTURE AN AUDIENCE IN 5 MINUTES BUT THE BRITS WERE STIRRING, WHISPERING TO EACH OTHER.AT HALF TIME, THE DIRGEN TOLD ME MY FLY WAS OPEN.
ZIPPERED UP, OPENED THE SECOND HALF, JOKING THAT IT WAS A PURPOSEFUL PLOY TO SEE IF THEY WERE PAYING ATTENTION. THEY ALL LAUGHED, GAVE ME A HEARTY ROUND OF APPLAUSE -- AND WE GOT THE BIZ CONTRACT. IN HUMOR'S DOMAIN TAKE A PEEK AT MY
"TALE OF A SKUNK THAT DID NOT STINK". A CONTEST WINNDER, THE RULE WAS THAT EVERY END-LINE NEEDED AN IDENTICAL
SOUNDING RHYME. I CHOSE "UNK", inventing the new word "thunk". Bravo on your poem, am looking at others, maybe a new fan. john
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2013
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THIS IS A MASTERPIECE! SUPERBLY CRAFTED, WITH EVERY LAST LINE IN RHYME. I HAD THE FEELING THAT "YOKEN" WAS A CLUTCH AT A RHYME (IS IT A REAL TOWN SOMEWHERE?) FELT HOBOKEN
WOULD HAVE BEEN MORE FAMILIAR TO FOLKS. NO MATTER, THE SURPRISE ENDING WAS GREAT -- AND NOT UNREALISTIC EXACTLY THE SAME THING HAPPENED TO ME IN A A LONDON SPEECH ATTENDED BY 800 TELECOM PEOPLE. I COULD USUALLY CAPTURE AN AUDIENCE IN 5 MINUTES BUT THE BRITS WERE STIRRING, WHISPERING TO EACH OTHER.AT HALF TIME, THE DIRGEN TOLD ME MY FLY WAS OPEN.
ZIPPERED UP, OPENED THE SECOND HALF, JOKING THAT IT WAS A PURPOSEFUL PLOY TO SEE IF THEY WERE PAYING ATTENTION. THEY ALL LAUGHED, GAVE ME A HEARTY ROUND OF APPLAUSE -- AND WE GOT THE BIZ CONTRACT. IN HUMOR'S DOMAIN TAKE A PEEK AT MY
"TALE OF A SKUNK THAT DID NOT STINK". A CONTEST WINNDER, THE RULE WAS THAT EVERY END-LINE NEEDED AN IDENTICAL
SOUNDING RHYME. I CHOSE "UNK", inventing the new word "thunk". Bravo on your poem, am looking at others, maybe a new fan. john
Comment Written 24-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2013
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Thank you John. I appreciate that glowing review
Ah, so you can relate to this story huh? Unfortunately, so can I, and on more than one occasion. But I won't go there right now.
I will definitely be sure to check out your tale of a skunk. I'd love to win a contest on FanStory one day. There are so many talented writers here.
Thanks so much once again, for everything. I look forward to reading your work.
DK
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Hi Dean, GREAZ, I HABE TO TYPE IN CAPS BECUZ MY SIGHTI POOR. I SEE YOU JOINED FS IN MARCH, I IN FEB, AGREE THERE ARE SOE GREAT WRITERS AND POETS ON THIS SITE. I SEE WE BOTH HAVE ONE SAME AN, MR DARK (JUIE,
A GREAT POETESS AND SYMPATHIQUE LADY), ALL MY STUFF IS HUMOROUS AND IN RHYME FORM. WON AN FS CONTEST IN WHICCH THEY ASKED FOR A STORY OF 700 WORDS. I CHALLENGED MYSELF, DID THE ENTIRE STORY IN RHYME, HILARIOUS ALL THE WAY WITH A SURPRISE ENDING CALLED
"LOVE STORY OF A LION AND GIRAFFE". A JP WHACKADILLO.
JP
Comment from simplyteresa
Having a spouse who has been involved in small town politics for decades I truly appreciate your work. The picture is perfect. Still smiling from this one
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2013
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Having a spouse who has been involved in small town politics for decades I truly appreciate your work. The picture is perfect. Still smiling from this one
Comment Written 24-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2013
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Thanks Teresa. I'm happy I could help you start your day off with a smile. To me, that's always a good thing!
Thanks again.
Comment from Jade Lawson
Hi, I had a really great time reading your poem, read it twice. It was so creative, amusing, the imagery great.
Descriptions were good, each line very well articulated and the rhythm absolutely great.
Loved it!
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2013
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Hi, I had a really great time reading your poem, read it twice. It was so creative, amusing, the imagery great.
Descriptions were good, each line very well articulated and the rhythm absolutely great.
Loved it!
Comment Written 24-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2013
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Thank you Angel. I certainly appreciate you reading it as well as your glowing review.
Thanks again!
DK
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you're welcome
