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All Those Puzzling Pieces

Viewing comments for Chapter 47 "No one Noticed"
What makes a life? How do the pieces fit?

45 total reviews 
Comment from gotanenvoy
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I liked your poem it showed how futile life can be. We all get wrapped in our own existence and when the end is near, feel that life has been too short. While young and full of beans, nothing can deplete our joy of living.

Yet when the body and mind start to fade, those outside our world either don't care or notice our demise.

I found you poem a good reflection of life as I have known it. Yet if I had read the same words forty years ago, their meaning would be lost one me.

Well done.

 Comment Written 15-Apr-2013


reply by the author on 15-Apr-2013
    I think we certainly become more aware of our mortality as we get older, don't we? Rather glad we DON'T know when we're younger! :)Sharyn
Comment from robina1978
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I am so sorry your friend died today and nobody noticed apart from his cat and you. Is this somebody from the site? He had been ill long and nobody visited. But after his death they didn't know how quick to come for his stuff. Hard felt sorrow from your site.

 Comment Written 15-Apr-2013


reply by the author on 15-Apr-2013
    thx Ine - nobody from the site - just a simple Hawaiian friend of mine who I've known for many years. Not unexpected as he used to smoke a lot and died of lung cancer. But lousy rotten kids. Bobby didn't have much to leave but they still fought over it BEFORE he died. Disgusting, actually. But he had a lovely lady friend who nursed him loyally to the end. It's just that we were talking in the next room, turned around, and noticed he'd "gone". Just like that. :)s
reply by robina1978 on 16-Apr-2013
    welcome and that is so horrible, Ine
Comment from paul O'Brien
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

That's beautiful....and so true.

I can't understand why it is not recognised and all time best.

Hemingway could not have portrayed Bobby any better.

The reality of what you are saying behind the words is very powerful and poignant.

Paul


 Comment Written 15-Apr-2013


reply by the author on 15-Apr-2013
    Bless you Paul - I knew you'd like this one! I just posted it so you're one of the first reviewers my dear. The "recognized" and "all time best" are simply a function of how many reviews received. They will come.

    I'm so glad you thought this one worth a six! I'm honored!
    :)Sharyn
Comment from wordsareus
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How very sad that Bobby was alone with his cat. I'm sorry to read about the passing of your friend. Your poem is heartfelt and exceptionally well written. Unfortunately, I don't have any sixes left.

 Comment Written 15-Apr-2013


reply by the author on 15-Apr-2013
    Bless you for your six-wish my dear! yes, death can be lonely, hmm? But then, I guess, death IS lonely, because our loved ones must be left behind. Not something we like to contemplate for long!
    :)S
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
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If true my thoughts go out to you. This is the way it happens. I told my daughter that on a death is when the vultures come visiting. another of my pet peeves. You captured this exactially spot on. Perfect in my books. If you are close, I"ll care for the cat.

 Comment Written 15-Apr-2013


reply by the author on 15-Apr-2013
    Bless you Barb - yes, some people are pretty disgusting, aren't they? The cat died a few days afterwards, do you believe? Truly Bobby's "Miss Kitty" - his shadow, yes?
    :)S
reply by Barb Hensongispsaca on 15-Apr-2013
    Absolutely I do believe. My sons basset hound died shortly after he did. I am a believer.
Comment from Mrs Happy Poet
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Yes this is well written and indeed very sad so much emotion enclosed in this poem some people do die this way it is so sad well done regards Jill

 Comment Written 15-Apr-2013


reply by the author on 15-Apr-2013
    thx Jill! :)S
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
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I can't give you a 6 for this exceptional poem, Sharyn. How sad and upsetting for you and for Bobby. There should be a law that unless you cared for the person, you can't inherit anything after the person has died. To die feeling his family didn't care is heart-breaking. Yet you describe him as a lovely person. It makes the whole thing so much worse. Sharyn, you write with passion and with love, you were there for him, he will have noticed and smiled. xsx Sandra.

 Comment Written 15-Apr-2013


reply by the author on 15-Apr-2013
    He was indeed a lovely person, Sandra - a sweet, simple man. Luckily he had a long-time lady friend who was completely loving and loyal, so she cared for him until the end - much more so than the disgusting family members (one of whom actually threatened to kill her - charming). He didn't have many possessions to give. He didn't have a great life, but he always had a smile (I often told him he looked like a Sunday school escapee). I'm glad he "slipped" away. I didn't want to see him in pain, and I knew he was afraid.
    Blessings,
    :)S
reply by Sandra Stoner-Mitchell on 15-Apr-2013
    aw, that is sad. I hope and pray his fears were cast away when he passed over and that there were many smiling faces there to welcome him. It is also nice to know that he did have another lady who loved and cared for him while he was here on Earth. His family should all be ashamed of themselves. xsx
Comment from MidnightWriter4U
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

True or not, this poem broke my heart. For, I know it will be the same for me as it was for Bobby. A lifetime spent without any noticing his needs for true caring and companionship. Relatives who never care if you are alive or dead until they think they can clean you out of what was your life's achievements, small as they might be. Bobby, if he truly existed is far more lucky now than those relatives will ever be and my heart goes out to those who did care. I have dream-catchers up in my room.... But, that's another story. And, sadly some people only have animals that care. There are too many Bobby's in this world. Fantastic write!

 Comment Written 15-Apr-2013


reply by the author on 15-Apr-2013
    What a sweetheart! Actually Bobby had a wonderful lady-friend who nursed him faithfully. He had a truly AWFUL lot of kids who were vultures. But his lady-friend and I were there, in the next room - we knew it wouldn't be long - it was just ironic that while we were both there, Bobby just slipped away ... he had a sad life, but you know what? he always had a smile for me - and he knew his lady-friend loved him. Just his kids were disgusting - that would have to have been hard. He had virtually no money, but he'd borrow money from me to buy them little birthday presents - never a thank you. Some people are just disgusting people I guess. And Bobby's cat died a couple of days later - truly his "shadow", yes? Thank you so much for your wonderful "six" on this one, my dear - I'm so glad it touched you. That's an honor. May your dream-catchers bring you sweetness in life, my dear - it's often as simple as looking outside and seeing what's beautiful.
    :)Sharyn
reply by MidnightWriter4U on 15-Apr-2013
    I see this: You have a beautiful soul. :)
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2013
    Thank you! That's what's important to us all, isn't it? To EXPRESS that ... that's what we all try for, yes?
    :))
reply by MidnightWriter4U on 15-Apr-2013
    Yes, my friend, yes. :))
Comment from Opal H.
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And you noticed too. And now many more can take notice that a friend who was loved is no more and will be missed. That is so sad - losing a friend, but I hope it came to him peacefully. Ten years of pain - as he suffering from a serious disease? I'm sorry to hear of this.

 Comment Written 15-Apr-2013


reply by the author on 15-Apr-2013
    Lung cancer, Opal - he'd been a heavy smoker for many, many years - and I watched him slowly deteriorate for a long time. Not pain all that time, but severely limited in what he could do - bad emphysema etc. But even though he had virtually nothing, he really had a rich spirit. A simple man, and a good one. :)S
Comment from rhymelord
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Dear Sharyn,
What truly wonderful scene setting. A really sad, sad subject, but you have engaged it so well, one can see the dust motes drifting in the sun's rays and hear all the little background noises of a suburban afternoon. Beautiful writing.
Regards
Reg

 Comment Written 15-Apr-2013


reply by the author on 15-Apr-2013
    thx so much Reg ... funny, the things one notices, hmm? :)Sharyn