All Those Puzzling Pieces
Viewing comments for Chapter 47 "No one Noticed"What makes a life? How do the pieces fit?
45 total reviews
Comment from 9999pool
A death without a murmur and he just slipped away peacefully. The ambiance and the surroundings did create an ambiance of 'wabi-sabi' and to illustrate death in this wabi-sabi way is commendable. This should have been in the Writing Prompt. Expect to get a cool 90 bucks for the winner. Only six spots left with 12 already snatched up. This wabi-sabi prompt does have a challenging appeal for the contest writers, LOl.
Great work and nice to write this tribute to a friend.
Cheers, Ritchie.
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2013
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A death without a murmur and he just slipped away peacefully. The ambiance and the surroundings did create an ambiance of 'wabi-sabi' and to illustrate death in this wabi-sabi way is commendable. This should have been in the Writing Prompt. Expect to get a cool 90 bucks for the winner. Only six spots left with 12 already snatched up. This wabi-sabi prompt does have a challenging appeal for the contest writers, LOl.
Great work and nice to write this tribute to a friend.
Cheers, Ritchie.
Comment Written 19-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2013
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oh good - wanted to check I was on the right track - thx Ritchie! I'll seek some more inspiration on this one - not an easy prompt! :)S
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Actually it is a very challenging prompt. I have reviewed all the prompt's poems so far and most of them are better than excellent. They can really write, believe me, as I am one of the best reviewer here, LOL (boasting as usual)!
But seriously, this writing prompt is quite easy. Just read the link provided in my thread "more about wabi-sabi" and "example of a wabi-sabi" (which one commentator said is not wabi-sabi - I will leave that to the Contest Committee to scratch their heads - I am just the Prompt promoter, LOL!) and I have Jean, that grand young lady to cover for me, :))).
Ritchie.
Comment from Cumbrianlass
What a special and candid tribute, Sharyn. A nurse friend once told me that people often die while their family member is out of the room, almost as if they don't want them to see their final moment.
There was much sadness in this. I got quite teary when you mentioned his cat being the only one to see him go.
*sigh*
Beautiful work.
Av
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2013
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What a special and candid tribute, Sharyn. A nurse friend once told me that people often die while their family member is out of the room, almost as if they don't want them to see their final moment.
There was much sadness in this. I got quite teary when you mentioned his cat being the only one to see him go.
*sigh*
Beautiful work.
Av
Comment Written 17-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2013
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Thank you so much Av - you know I treasure and appreciate your feedback!
:)Sharyn
Comment from Taffspride
I cried as I read this. Your writing is so incredibly beautiful in it's simplicity.
Thank you for sharing your friends last moments with us. No one may have noticed. But he knew, I am sure that you were there.
Iechyd da
Ann
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2013
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I cried as I read this. Your writing is so incredibly beautiful in it's simplicity.
Thank you for sharing your friends last moments with us. No one may have noticed. But he knew, I am sure that you were there.
Iechyd da
Ann
Comment Written 17-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2013
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Bless you Ann - I do hope he knew, yes! :)Sharyn
Comment from dmt1967
This is a sad poem my friend and I am sorry for your loss at least he died peacefully I hope that's all any of us can hope for thank you for sharing
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2013
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This is a sad poem my friend and I am sorry for your loss at least he died peacefully I hope that's all any of us can hope for thank you for sharing
Comment Written 17-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2013
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thx so much my dear! :)S
Comment from Lulube
Terribly sad but true message on passing on. Sorry it's about your friend. One comes to think of how many leave this world unnoticed. Sad, sad day but now he is no longer in any pain. Bless you, I think he knew you were both there and that allowed him to leave.
lulube
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2013
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Terribly sad but true message on passing on. Sorry it's about your friend. One comes to think of how many leave this world unnoticed. Sad, sad day but now he is no longer in any pain. Bless you, I think he knew you were both there and that allowed him to leave.
lulube
Comment Written 17-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2013
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A special thank you, my dear, for your lovely six on this one! I've been lucky enough never to have been near death - but somehow I knew I'd be around for Bobby's - I knew it when I met him almost 20 years ago, I don't know why. But yes, he was a quiet, simple man and I'm glad he's no longer in pain.
Bless you lu!
:)S
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welcome
lulube
Comment from DALLAS01
Would like to have been able to give a six on this. I always enjoy your poetic devices but this time it was the essence of the story that grabbed my attention and invited me to read again. How very sad. But would have been sadder yet if the two of your were not a room away.
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2013
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Would like to have been able to give a six on this. I always enjoy your poetic devices but this time it was the essence of the story that grabbed my attention and invited me to read again. How very sad. But would have been sadder yet if the two of your were not a room away.
Comment Written 16-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2013
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Thank you so much Dallas - I like to tell stories within poetry, so I'm glad you were captivated by this one! And yes, you're right - it would have been sadder.
Blessings, and appreciative thanks, as always!
Sharyn
Comment from lorijean
What a sad and heartfelt poem for a friend who passed away almost un-noticed.. but you wrote a beautiful poem in his memory......
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2013
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What a sad and heartfelt poem for a friend who passed away almost un-noticed.. but you wrote a beautiful poem in his memory......
Comment Written 16-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2013
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thx so much lj! :)Sharyn
Comment from donaldww
Sorry about your loss. No one crying--that's the way it goes for some people. At least no one was cheering.
As soon as the tears are gone, people soon forget about you. We truly are just like the grains of sand on a never ending beach.
They picked his things dry, then all left!
Cheers,
DW
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2013
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Sorry about your loss. No one crying--that's the way it goes for some people. At least no one was cheering.
As soon as the tears are gone, people soon forget about you. We truly are just like the grains of sand on a never ending beach.
They picked his things dry, then all left!
Cheers,
DW
Comment Written 16-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2013
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indeed they did DW :)s
Comment from Earl of Oxford
Hi, Sharyn.
Both my stepfather and best friend died from lung cancer. I watched them both deteriorate, though my stepfather went very quickly.
To witness both demises was terrible, and yet I'm still fool enough to smoke.
Wonderful alliteration and stark images in this write. So sad and haunting!
Best wishes, Ray
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2013
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Hi, Sharyn.
Both my stepfather and best friend died from lung cancer. I watched them both deteriorate, though my stepfather went very quickly.
To witness both demises was terrible, and yet I'm still fool enough to smoke.
Wonderful alliteration and stark images in this write. So sad and haunting!
Best wishes, Ray
Comment Written 16-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2013
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thx so much Ray - sad it is, my dear! :)S
Comment from Deborah Marie
Lovely tribute to your friend with photo that is nicely incorporated into your poem. I am sorry for your loss. Well penned and presented. Thanks for sharing your tribute to your friend, Deb
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2013
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Lovely tribute to your friend with photo that is nicely incorporated into your poem. I am sorry for your loss. Well penned and presented. Thanks for sharing your tribute to your friend, Deb
Comment Written 16-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2013
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thx so much Deb! :)s
