All Those Puzzling Pieces
Viewing comments for Chapter 16 "Sugared Stars"What makes a life? How do the pieces fit?
105 total reviews
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
Oh so sweet. Nice to read and flows nice. I read once and then again to get the feel of it. Got caught on last "lambent loving".
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2013
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Oh so sweet. Nice to read and flows nice. I read once and then again to get the feel of it. Got caught on last "lambent loving".
Comment Written 28-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2013
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Can you tell I need my chocolate hit Barb? :)S
Comment from 9999pool
A breezy romance by the seaside beach perched on a silver smooth worn bench, the delights of ice creams melts like their hearts. They edged closer and tasted the melting sweet ice cream together and then the stars appeared or so it seemed.
beautiful story of a light romance by the sea breeze and dark summers night did turned so bright for these two lovers.
Cheerio, Ritchie.
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2013
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A breezy romance by the seaside beach perched on a silver smooth worn bench, the delights of ice creams melts like their hearts. They edged closer and tasted the melting sweet ice cream together and then the stars appeared or so it seemed.
beautiful story of a light romance by the sea breeze and dark summers night did turned so bright for these two lovers.
Cheerio, Ritchie.
Comment Written 28-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2013
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thx so much Ritchie! :)))
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Welcome Sharyn.
Have a great Easter and watch them chocolates and the bathroom weighing scale. No cheating or your weight will tell on you, LOL.
Cheerio, Ritchie.
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no chocolate for me dear - I'm becoming a breathatarian! it's the ONLY way to be slim! :)))))
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No wonder you are so happy nowadays due to your weight loss. Slim is 'in' and obese is great and meant out of breath while walking.
have a great day, Ritchie.
Comment from Allison78
I so enjoyed reading this summer poem! Your imagery is amazing and I feel like I can see everything you are describing. You really have a way of showing the reader what you want them to see!
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2013
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I so enjoyed reading this summer poem! Your imagery is amazing and I feel like I can see everything you are describing. You really have a way of showing the reader what you want them to see!
Comment Written 28-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2013
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Bless you Allison! :)Sharyn
Comment from CR Delport
A lovely poem that is well written and well delivered. The message is clear and said in a lovely voice. Lovely art work to go with the poem.
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2013
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A lovely poem that is well written and well delivered. The message is clear and said in a lovely voice. Lovely art work to go with the poem.
Comment Written 28-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2013
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thx so much CR! :)S
Comment from Galactia
What an excellent saucy free verse of lust and love.
favourite lines....
sitting on the bench worn silver smooth
by salt and sea, and breezy ocean blues
he watches her,
as chocolate ice cream drips
in little skips
and kisses
down the sugar cone
across her lips,
just a little sticky,
lingers tripping on her fingers
but she doesn't mind at all
for she licks them, one by one
softly smiling, teasing
in the last peach
of burnished beach
sunset afternoon ...
great job
GL in the contest.
Regards
Tia
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2013
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What an excellent saucy free verse of lust and love.
favourite lines....
sitting on the bench worn silver smooth
by salt and sea, and breezy ocean blues
he watches her,
as chocolate ice cream drips
in little skips
and kisses
down the sugar cone
across her lips,
just a little sticky,
lingers tripping on her fingers
but she doesn't mind at all
for she licks them, one by one
softly smiling, teasing
in the last peach
of burnished beach
sunset afternoon ...
great job
GL in the contest.
Regards
Tia
Comment Written 28-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2013
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glad you enjoyed a little dripping chocolate with me Tia! :)S
Comment from MidnightWriter4U
Ooo, I like this romantic poem. I can see the gentle glow and flicker of the sunlight as it fades on the beach. The description of the chocolate ice cream melting done in a wonderfully sensuous way. Sigh.
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2013
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Ooo, I like this romantic poem. I can see the gentle glow and flicker of the sunlight as it fades on the beach. The description of the chocolate ice cream melting done in a wonderfully sensuous way. Sigh.
Comment Written 28-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2013
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ooooooooooooooo good! :))))
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LOL ;)
Comment from misscookie
The artwork that you choose for your poem is perfect.
You had my attention from the starteach word I readed touch my heart. It wonderful to be in love.
Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2013
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The artwork that you choose for your poem is perfect.
You had my attention from the starteach word I readed touch my heart. It wonderful to be in love.
Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 28-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2013
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thx misscookie! :)Sharyn
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Your very welcome, until next time.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Aww, Sharyn, this is so beautiful. You have painted a picture here in words. The imagery is amazing, the chocolate slipping onto fingers, waiting to be licked off, not wasting any, and then the chocolate doube-dapples kisses
it is so lovely. Can't give you a 6! A lovely delicious poem to read. :) xsx Sandra
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2013
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Aww, Sharyn, this is so beautiful. You have painted a picture here in words. The imagery is amazing, the chocolate slipping onto fingers, waiting to be licked off, not wasting any, and then the chocolate doube-dapples kisses
it is so lovely. Can't give you a 6! A lovely delicious poem to read. :) xsx Sandra
Comment Written 28-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2013
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Bless you Sandra - can you tell I've been deprived of chocolate this week? :)
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I know the feeing! :(
Comment from Kaine Darcwater
I love to read poems of love like this. It's strange though because I've never known love, but I long for it so much. Exactly how love should be and how it should feel races through my mind wild. You have some very warm and slightly erotic stanzas in this poem. They work very well in invoking the feelings meant to be felt. Right down to the guy noticing her licking her cone. Kudos. ;)
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2013
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I love to read poems of love like this. It's strange though because I've never known love, but I long for it so much. Exactly how love should be and how it should feel races through my mind wild. You have some very warm and slightly erotic stanzas in this poem. They work very well in invoking the feelings meant to be felt. Right down to the guy noticing her licking her cone. Kudos. ;)
Comment Written 28-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2013
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I think the ideal is far different from reality, Bryan - yet we continue to hold on to this "lambent" picture, right? But always fun to idealize and write about! :)Sharyn
Comment from vkmack
Is there anything you can't do? This is just amazing. I began reading "another love poem" and ended on a masterwork. The language is just so elegant and alive and breaths as if the people were in front of us, acting on their attraction beneath "the first sugared stars showering the dark of summer's lambent loving." Perfect phrasing, perfect language, perfect alliteration, perfect imagery, perfect story-telling. Like Mary Poppins, this is practically perfect in every way. Excellent work deserving of more than six stars. Am I being effusive?
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2013
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Is there anything you can't do? This is just amazing. I began reading "another love poem" and ended on a masterwork. The language is just so elegant and alive and breaths as if the people were in front of us, acting on their attraction beneath "the first sugared stars showering the dark of summer's lambent loving." Perfect phrasing, perfect language, perfect alliteration, perfect imagery, perfect story-telling. Like Mary Poppins, this is practically perfect in every way. Excellent work deserving of more than six stars. Am I being effusive?
Comment Written 28-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2013
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I LOVE effusive vk!!!! oh YEAH!!!! It totally makes me happy when someone "gets" my work. Bless you for your wonderful six my dear - so much appreciated.
:)Sharyn
