All Those Puzzling Pieces
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "It Makes Me Happy!"What makes a life? How do the pieces fit?
130 total reviews
Comment from 9999pool
This is the familiar style that you write best. Long lines and starting to get short and shorter to just one word and finally the bang in one swift line.
I will call this form "Long Short". With a standard format requirements, this could be a favorite form to write.
It takes only simple things to make us appreciate the finer things in life and with small things come big surprises of joy and merry!
Excellent message to anyone who failed to see the simple beautiful white light of rainbow colors!
Cheerio, Ritchie.
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2013
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This is the familiar style that you write best. Long lines and starting to get short and shorter to just one word and finally the bang in one swift line.
I will call this form "Long Short". With a standard format requirements, this could be a favorite form to write.
It takes only simple things to make us appreciate the finer things in life and with small things come big surprises of joy and merry!
Excellent message to anyone who failed to see the simple beautiful white light of rainbow colors!
Cheerio, Ritchie.
Comment Written 12-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2013
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Bless you, Ritchie, yes, this is indeed the form that flows most naturally for me - it's not "work" and I rarely have to change much, apart from nudging a couple of words here and there. Can this be my VERY OWN "Long Short" ??? sounds like a coffee choice at Starbuck's, which would also be very fitting ... :)))S
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Okay, I will study this format of yours and come out the style your mind consciously writes with. "Long Short" = "Long shot" (nickname). I can tell you that your "long shots" usually get through with brilliant metaphors and imagery at the finale.
I will write your "long shot" and you have a shot of it as well [after you agree to the proposed format based on my intelligent assessment(boasting again as usual!)].
Will send you the proposed long short new style called "Long Short(or Shot) Visionett" - you choose. We can give the readers the long shot and short-changed them in the finale (almost like a Shakespearean love sonnet) but this writing need not be about 'love', ROTFLOL.
Cheerio, Ritchie.
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sounds like fun - this can be about ANYTHING at all! could be a "ladder poem"??
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Ladder Poem sound okay but what's the format like in terms of syllable count, word count and rhyming scheme? Got to write one poem to test the feasibility and then lookat the form. Ladder Poem means it is a SHAPE poem which looked like a ladder form by the sentence...the modified tiolet looked like a rail track. Lol. Okay, Ladder Shape Poem then.
Ritchie.
Comment from mizzkris20
Your poem makes me happy. It reminds me of all that is good in the world and appreciate it. I most certainly agree with your author notes stop running for just a moment ... and look around
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2013
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Your poem makes me happy. It reminds me of all that is good in the world and appreciate it. I most certainly agree with your author notes stop running for just a moment ... and look around
Comment Written 12-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2013
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thx so much mizzkris! :)S
Comment from Nebukadneser
You are most definitely the other side of brilliant! This is writing of the highest order from a chick who oozes talent from every pore. It is both delightful and a pleasure to read.
Well done
You're a star
Cool bananas and warm regards
Nebukadneser
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2013
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You are most definitely the other side of brilliant! This is writing of the highest order from a chick who oozes talent from every pore. It is both delightful and a pleasure to read.
Well done
You're a star
Cool bananas and warm regards
Nebukadneser
Comment Written 12-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2013
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and cool bananas right back to you my dear ... which reminds me, I'm serving some HOT bananas tomorrow night with coconut ice-cream, whipped cream and toasted macadamia nuts ... interested??
Blessings,
Sharyn
Comment from Just2Write
I really liked this write and the message it contains. The use of colour in cadence really added so much to this free verse - they just seemed to tumble down the page. And yes, I so agree with your author's notes. We all need to stop running for a moment and just look around. One can't possibly drink it all in, but it's worth a try! Rose.
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2013
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I really liked this write and the message it contains. The use of colour in cadence really added so much to this free verse - they just seemed to tumble down the page. And yes, I so agree with your author's notes. We all need to stop running for a moment and just look around. One can't possibly drink it all in, but it's worth a try! Rose.
Comment Written 12-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2013
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Good to remind ourselves as much as we possibly can, Rose, yes? Blessings, my dear!
Sharyn :)
Comment from Lovinia
Hi Sharyn
I was so afraid I wouldn't have a sixer. It is pre-dawn for me and I have pulled an all-nighter. Restless i guess. I came across your poem Sharyn and it just screamed happiness in my face! LOL I felt so good as I read glorious line after line. It was dreamy, creamy, yummy and scrummy! lol Yes, this is valid poetic terminology. Heheheh!
" ...and I say wordlessly, if such a thing is possible,
"I love you, and
by the way, thank you for bringing me coffee in bed this morning
and stroking me alive..." - brilliant. You are certainly "stroked alive" this morning, or is that the caffeine?? lol So sensual, arousing all the senses. Zoot! Zoot!
Outstanding presentation and I love the fantastic photo of the seagull. I feel like joining that bird on the wing and soaring through all the blues of your sky, "Rounding wind's curve of highway, from rock-tumbled fields" - "with white clouds, white birds in white flight", "glowing spotted cows" - outstanding phrases, absolutely pristine, crisp on the lips and what amazing images created throughout. WOW! I would so LOVE to hear you perform this.
Wonderful alliteration in "run red/red" and "heart/heart", "whole world", "Sunlight/scents/salt", "Cyan/cerulean", "hey/how", "sing/second/shared/shining", "makes me". An abundance of assonance and consonance to bring such a melodious tone to this wonderful poem. Fantastic work. Loved it! I feel so ALIVE after reading your stunning poem. Hugs - Lovinia xoxo
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2013
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Hi Sharyn
I was so afraid I wouldn't have a sixer. It is pre-dawn for me and I have pulled an all-nighter. Restless i guess. I came across your poem Sharyn and it just screamed happiness in my face! LOL I felt so good as I read glorious line after line. It was dreamy, creamy, yummy and scrummy! lol Yes, this is valid poetic terminology. Heheheh!
" ...and I say wordlessly, if such a thing is possible,
"I love you, and
by the way, thank you for bringing me coffee in bed this morning
and stroking me alive..." - brilliant. You are certainly "stroked alive" this morning, or is that the caffeine?? lol So sensual, arousing all the senses. Zoot! Zoot!
Outstanding presentation and I love the fantastic photo of the seagull. I feel like joining that bird on the wing and soaring through all the blues of your sky, "Rounding wind's curve of highway, from rock-tumbled fields" - "with white clouds, white birds in white flight", "glowing spotted cows" - outstanding phrases, absolutely pristine, crisp on the lips and what amazing images created throughout. WOW! I would so LOVE to hear you perform this.
Wonderful alliteration in "run red/red" and "heart/heart", "whole world", "Sunlight/scents/salt", "Cyan/cerulean", "hey/how", "sing/second/shared/shining", "makes me". An abundance of assonance and consonance to bring such a melodious tone to this wonderful poem. Fantastic work. Loved it! I feel so ALIVE after reading your stunning poem. Hugs - Lovinia xoxo
Comment Written 12-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2013
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OMG I love reading your review Lovinia! You really 'get' what makes my writing tick - i.e. the music of the words - and I so much appreciate that, not to mention, of course, your SECOND FABULOUS SIX!!!! I loved writing this one - don't even know where it came from - guess spring must be in the ocean air this week, hmm? Bless you bless you bless you! :)Sharyn
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Hi Sharyn
I just loved this ... in fact I must pop over and bookmark it. You write with such gusto Sharyn ... it is always exciting to read your work and enjoy what ever pops into your head. :))
I love your wit and sense of humor ... oh gosh, before I get into over-gush, let me just say I really admire your talent..... and your mind and spirit (at least what I know of it from your work and notes) LOL
My pleasure for the six - well earned. This is so fabulous, i think you should have it printed so I can buy one and hang it on my wall .... especially for the days when I get up on the wrong side of the bed. hahah! yes, it has all the luschioushness (poetic license) of spring and salty sea air. Ah to be in Hawaii in spring. Hugs - Lovinia xoxo
Comment from Curtis Hatch
Sharyn,
Your poem makes me joyful...it reminds me of all that is right with the world. Like the poem, little things make me happy. A kiss on the cheek from my dog, showing she still loves me. Your color scheme, format, and graphics add beautiful visual effects to a lovely poem.
Godspeed,
Curtis
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2013
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Sharyn,
Your poem makes me joyful...it reminds me of all that is right with the world. Like the poem, little things make me happy. A kiss on the cheek from my dog, showing she still loves me. Your color scheme, format, and graphics add beautiful visual effects to a lovely poem.
Godspeed,
Curtis
Comment Written 12-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2013
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Thx so much Curtis! :)Sharyn
Comment from seren james
OK, yes, got the message. This is truly wonderful. I want to read it loud and shout. So many imagery, so poetic,rustic, onomatopoeic, everything. I hope you are as happy as the poem visualises. You certainly lifted my spirits.
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2013
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OK, yes, got the message. This is truly wonderful. I want to read it loud and shout. So many imagery, so poetic,rustic, onomatopoeic, everything. I hope you are as happy as the poem visualises. You certainly lifted my spirits.
Comment Written 12-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2013
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Bless you, Seren - all it takes, sometimes, is to simply pause and let one's senses take it all in, hmm? Thank you so much for sharing the feeling with me, and, of course, for your lovely six on this one - so much appreciated.
Best wishes
Sharyn :)
Comment from mauial
Love your free verse expression on what makes you happy. People should see the value of the things you mentioned as bringing happiness and get of the materialistic wagon.
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2013
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Love your free verse expression on what makes you happy. People should see the value of the things you mentioned as bringing happiness and get of the materialistic wagon.
Comment Written 12-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2013
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You've got that right, Al - thank you so much! :)Sharyn
Comment from Gary D. Hardy
Beautifully written piece of writing. All of these bright and upliftting colors and smooth rhyme of all its own. Just loved it. You did well!
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2013
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Beautifully written piece of writing. All of these bright and upliftting colors and smooth rhyme of all its own. Just loved it. You did well!
Comment Written 12-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2013
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thx so much Gary! :)Sharyn
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You're welcome! It was my pleasure!
Comment from Ecclectic_Reverie
This is an awesome poem. I would LOVE to see this live, with all the descriptions on the end. I love your word choice and how vividly I could see everything that you explained in my head. Great read :)
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2013
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This is an awesome poem. I would LOVE to see this live, with all the descriptions on the end. I love your word choice and how vividly I could see everything that you explained in my head. Great read :)
Comment Written 12-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2013
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I love to perform what I write, ER - love the "musicality" of words, yes? So glad you enjoyed it!
:) Sharyn
