All Those Puzzling Pieces
Viewing comments for Chapter 20 "Second Cup of Coffee"What makes a life? How do the pieces fit?
51 total reviews
Comment from October21
Oh! The perfect mate... With socks... Amazing what coffee can do to us... LOL! Loved that reference to Noah and his Ark, also the rhyming is just perfect Sharyn:-)
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2013
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Oh! The perfect mate... With socks... Amazing what coffee can do to us... LOL! Loved that reference to Noah and his Ark, also the rhyming is just perfect Sharyn:-)
Comment Written 09-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2013
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Thanks Shenel! :)S
Comment from LadyCosgrove
A fabulous cacophony of words, all jumbled together like the lunacy of laundry and yet ...making perfect sense.
Reads aloud brilliantly and leaves the reader with a big, fat, smile.
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2013
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A fabulous cacophony of words, all jumbled together like the lunacy of laundry and yet ...making perfect sense.
Reads aloud brilliantly and leaves the reader with a big, fat, smile.
Comment Written 09-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2013
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glad to have you share my big fat caffeinated smile LG! :)S
Comment from K.W.
I love this playful piece:) the form is great and it's sounds almost like a chant with its rhythmic melody. Great usage of the ordinary to explore the extraordinary- finding the perfect mate:) very best, k
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2013
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I love this playful piece:) the form is great and it's sounds almost like a chant with its rhythmic melody. Great usage of the ordinary to explore the extraordinary- finding the perfect mate:) very best, k
Comment Written 09-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2013
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so glad you got the melody k! :)S
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Really enjoyed it:)
Comment from Indie Skreet
yes all us domestic goddesses can relate to this one. Where do they all go? I suspect our washing machines have an enormous socky appetite. Made me laugh as I have my sixth coffee of the day :)
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2013
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yes all us domestic goddesses can relate to this one. Where do they all go? I suspect our washing machines have an enormous socky appetite. Made me laugh as I have my sixth coffee of the day :)
Comment Written 09-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2013
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God! your socks will start to have triplets on six cups for sure! :)S
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I've cut down :)
Comment from amada
This work is great, so in contact with our mismatched views and expectations. I like the metaphor you used on the unwanted dinner guest sniffing coffee!
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2013
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This work is great, so in contact with our mismatched views and expectations. I like the metaphor you used on the unwanted dinner guest sniffing coffee!
Comment Written 09-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2013
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Bless you amada! :)S
Comment from Glasstruth
If somebody could write an entertaining poem of old mateless socks that would be unique. Congrats! You just did. The words with alliteration, internal rhyming just flow down the screen like stream of dirty old socks. LOL. Wish I had a sixer. Great! Les
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2013
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If somebody could write an entertaining poem of old mateless socks that would be unique. Congrats! You just did. The words with alliteration, internal rhyming just flow down the screen like stream of dirty old socks. LOL. Wish I had a sixer. Great! Les
Comment Written 09-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2013
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Glad you had a chuckle about my idiotic socks Les - have you read Billy Collins? I think you'd enjoy him. :)s
Comment from wordsareus
This is a great poem. It made me smile at the end. Some great thoughts were inspired by a second cup of coffee. My favorite part is
Noah would have had a nightmare ...
light, dark
no room on his ark
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2013
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This is a great poem. It made me smile at the end. Some great thoughts were inspired by a second cup of coffee. My favorite part is
Noah would have had a nightmare ...
light, dark
no room on his ark
Comment Written 09-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2013
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thx so much my dear - just a bit of fun to go with coffee :)S
Comment from Maureen's Pen
Sharyn,
I'm reading this as I'm enjoying my coffee. This was an impressive and funny work that had me nodding my head in agreement with you.
Fantastic work my friend, definitely an exceptional work though I am out of sixes.
Thanks for sharing.
Maureen
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2013
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Sharyn,
I'm reading this as I'm enjoying my coffee. This was an impressive and funny work that had me nodding my head in agreement with you.
Fantastic work my friend, definitely an exceptional work though I am out of sixes.
Thanks for sharing.
Maureen
Comment Written 09-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2013
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bless you Maureen - quirky things run thru my head sometimes, so I'm glad they run thru yours too! :)S
Comment from donaldww
I like this caffeinated poetry. Your extended metaphor or conceit comparing house guests to mismatched socks is brilliant.
I have one suggestion for your consideration. I found the word "optimistically" counteracts "balefully" in a way that waters down the discomfort they are . I didn't see how people who are 'threatening harm; menacing' would show optimism. They struck me a people who expect breakfast as an entitlement. I suggest that by removing optimistically the stanza would be more pointed.
Cheers,
DW
You have a flower-painted couch?
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2013
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I like this caffeinated poetry. Your extended metaphor or conceit comparing house guests to mismatched socks is brilliant.
I have one suggestion for your consideration. I found the word "optimistically" counteracts "balefully" in a way that waters down the discomfort they are . I didn't see how people who are 'threatening harm; menacing' would show optimism. They struck me a people who expect breakfast as an entitlement. I suggest that by removing optimistically the stanza would be more pointed.
Cheers,
DW
You have a flower-painted couch?
Comment Written 09-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2013
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Bless you DW - for enjoying, and for your magic six - and yes! I DO have a flower-painted couch (very common on the tropics). Thx also for your "baleful"/ "optimistic" suggestions ... I'd thought of "pathetic" and "hopeful" ... if I leave out "optimistic" it leaves me thinking I need another word, which makes me think I need to change "baleful" ... I'll have another play with it this morning. Thank you, as always, for your thoughtfulness.
:)Sharyn
Comment from juliedickson55
Very humorous and of course true...where do the socks go?
I keep them all, and sometimes one or two show up...but I think the dryer eats them, they fall into cracks or just disappear?
I love the metaphors!
"great thoughts spring forth
on the meaning of life!
spotted, striped
rich and sassy
all single, intermingled, every one"
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2013
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Very humorous and of course true...where do the socks go?
I keep them all, and sometimes one or two show up...but I think the dryer eats them, they fall into cracks or just disappear?
I love the metaphors!
"great thoughts spring forth
on the meaning of life!
spotted, striped
rich and sassy
all single, intermingled, every one"
Comment Written 09-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2013
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thx so much Julie! :)S
