Hands of Man
A Story48 total reviews
Comment from Rondeno
Man is flawed, Man screws up, Man is irrationally violent. However, there is a Man who holds the cure for our ills.
Your poem, on the other hand, isn't very far from perfect. Your long, loping lines with their frequent rhymes (end-line, and internal) are ideal for the lament you sing. Great work.
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2013
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Man is flawed, Man screws up, Man is irrationally violent. However, there is a Man who holds the cure for our ills.
Your poem, on the other hand, isn't very far from perfect. Your long, loping lines with their frequent rhymes (end-line, and internal) are ideal for the lament you sing. Great work.
Comment Written 25-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2013
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Thank you!
Your comments and rating truly make my day a pleasant one my friend!
Curt
Comment from Realist101
Dear Curt...you are a master poet...SO glad you're writing again? This is just a wonderful work. Smooth as silk to read. Your work always requires more than one read too. That's a good thing. We have to think about it. Beautiful job my friend. x. Susan
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2013
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Dear Curt...you are a master poet...SO glad you're writing again? This is just a wonderful work. Smooth as silk to read. Your work always requires more than one read too. That's a good thing. We have to think about it. Beautiful job my friend. x. Susan
Comment Written 25-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2013
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Hi Susan!
So nice to hear from you again! Yes, it feels good to be putting it out there for the world to see and share, I missed it.
SO glad you found some merit in this piece, and I want to just say thanks again for being my friend!
Curt
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I'm just glad you're okay Curt. I always worried about you. S.
Comment from robina1978
I loved all the rhyme in it and the original darkish story. Soldiers and people fight, blood. This can only done by the hands of men. Very well done, Curt.
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2013
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I loved all the rhyme in it and the original darkish story. Soldiers and people fight, blood. This can only done by the hands of men. Very well done, Curt.
Comment Written 25-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2013
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Thank you so much my friend,
I always appreciate when you stop by to tell me what you think of my work, good or bad!
Curt
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very welcome as always, Ine
Comment from MizKat
Curt Mongold - I like your poetry that tells an interesting story. The art work is nice too. You did a good job in writing it. Kat
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2013
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Curt Mongold - I like your poetry that tells an interesting story. The art work is nice too. You did a good job in writing it. Kat
Comment Written 25-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2013
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Thank you!
Curt
Comment from Righteous Riter
The rhyme scheme is effective as is the rhyming. The passion of the writer is felt as the message is clear and to the point. Harmony is present as this piece holds my attention to the end. Nice job.
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2013
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The rhyme scheme is effective as is the rhyming. The passion of the writer is felt as the message is clear and to the point. Harmony is present as this piece holds my attention to the end. Nice job.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2013
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Thanks, but what is the message that is clear and to the point my friend?
Sincerely,
Curt
Comment from seewhatimwritingnow
Okay Curt...I see the stagecoach is what Jesus is traveling in surveying the world (The killing fields) I see the fallen Oaks as the Christians who refused to yield to the world & sin and were brought down. I see the world troubled and torn by sin and wars. At the end, I see the flocks feasting on obscenely green grass, green from all the blood that was shed because they failed to spread the message brought by the one who rode the stagecoach (Jesus). WOW- Quite a writing! Makes me feel so ignorant..as though I've just had tea with Shakespeare. :) Thanks for sharing. A really great write. Betty
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2013
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Okay Curt...I see the stagecoach is what Jesus is traveling in surveying the world (The killing fields) I see the fallen Oaks as the Christians who refused to yield to the world & sin and were brought down. I see the world troubled and torn by sin and wars. At the end, I see the flocks feasting on obscenely green grass, green from all the blood that was shed because they failed to spread the message brought by the one who rode the stagecoach (Jesus). WOW- Quite a writing! Makes me feel so ignorant..as though I've just had tea with Shakespeare. :) Thanks for sharing. A really great write. Betty
Comment Written 24-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2013
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Betty,
If I could give stars for reviews, yours would get a six. You nailed it all, and I want to thank you for getting the message I was trying to convey.
LOL! Tea with Shakespeare, what a compliment! Careful, or my hat won't fit anymore, LOL!
Thank you so much for making my day,
Curt
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Oh- trust me...you would give Shakespeare a run for the money! Give us more of those deciphering poems- When you write..I'm right there inside your head, you can't hide. :) Betty
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You got it, just don't call me Willy! LOL!
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LOL- Silly WILLY!!
Comment from GWinterwin
Sounds like people in hell and torment. Maybe not knowing that Christ died for all. Not realizing there was something better if they just look for it. Good writing with well flowing words.
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2013
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Sounds like people in hell and torment. Maybe not knowing that Christ died for all. Not realizing there was something better if they just look for it. Good writing with well flowing words.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2013
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Thank you for your thoughts and for your time my friend,
Curt
Comment from teafor2
Curt Mongold--You've already covered the poetics (and
quite well, I might add), so i'll just throw in my two
cent worth which isn't about critiquing, but more of
what this conjures up for me. The most callous and dead-
liest animal in the world is 'man.' As a general rule,
historically, has committed the most horrific acts, has
been the most inhumane and we haven't seen his worst yet!
teafor2
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2013
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Curt Mongold--You've already covered the poetics (and
quite well, I might add), so i'll just throw in my two
cent worth which isn't about critiquing, but more of
what this conjures up for me. The most callous and dead-
liest animal in the world is 'man.' As a general rule,
historically, has committed the most horrific acts, has
been the most inhumane and we haven't seen his worst yet!
teafor2
Comment Written 24-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2013
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I agree, and yet we still have the audacity, the sheer, unmitigated gall to call ourselves civilized! You get a star on your paper my friend!
Sincerely,
Curt
Comment from vickib
So you know I had to process this and I did read the reviews but I first thought it was about clear cutting trees, but the stagecoach there me, then I thought it was symbolized for a ride of some kind. But the farther I read I thought its people being killed and burned in a war of some kind . Then the whore and Babylon I thought its something in the Bible. But I don't know that much about the stories in it. Your ending made me think it was Jesus. So it was a process, and I take it as everything, every atrocity throughout the world and how we are influenced by man and growth and greed. It really does represent many things that God must look down and see. At least this is how I feel about what you have written in true Curt form and you are seeing it all along the ride. It's complicated somewhat but written beautifully. I enjoy the thought process that goes with your writing. And look I have been givin more sixes.
XO
Vicki
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2013
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So you know I had to process this and I did read the reviews but I first thought it was about clear cutting trees, but the stagecoach there me, then I thought it was symbolized for a ride of some kind. But the farther I read I thought its people being killed and burned in a war of some kind . Then the whore and Babylon I thought its something in the Bible. But I don't know that much about the stories in it. Your ending made me think it was Jesus. So it was a process, and I take it as everything, every atrocity throughout the world and how we are influenced by man and growth and greed. It really does represent many things that God must look down and see. At least this is how I feel about what you have written in true Curt form and you are seeing it all along the ride. It's complicated somewhat but written beautifully. I enjoy the thought process that goes with your writing. And look I have been givin more sixes.
XO
Vicki
Comment Written 24-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2013
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Thanks Vicki,
For your thoughts, your everything! It is a process, that travels many paths, I intended it that way so that you could pick the meanings from the words for yourself. But you got what I was trying to do, using analogies to compare man to good and evil, life and death, and the battle within all of us to go one way or the other, and how we, as a race, tend to mostly go along with the flock.
Thank you once again my dear, you always make my day.
Curt
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If you think you are black and white per my poem for you, you are wrong. Too bad your not even if you would like to be.
XO
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Well, dang it all then! LOL! :>)
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Nanner, Your busted!
Comment from AnonymousWisdom
"fenced in" should "fenced-in".
"were souls thrown in"
You might have meant "where" but I'm not sure.
I'm pretty sure you're talking about Jesus at the end, in which case you should capitalize pronouns such as "He" that describe Him.
Sometimes it was a little hard to read...sometimes it flowed, sometimes it didn't. It had a twisted-plotline feel that I enjoyed, but you should probably do another read-through of this and edit a bit just to improve overall flow and readability. (It may just be me, of course.) Good job and thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2013
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"fenced in" should "fenced-in".
"were souls thrown in"
You might have meant "where" but I'm not sure.
I'm pretty sure you're talking about Jesus at the end, in which case you should capitalize pronouns such as "He" that describe Him.
Sometimes it was a little hard to read...sometimes it flowed, sometimes it didn't. It had a twisted-plotline feel that I enjoyed, but you should probably do another read-through of this and edit a bit just to improve overall flow and readability. (It may just be me, of course.) Good job and thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2013
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Perhaps it is the vernacular that is particular to your region, as I have had no other such comments about this work, for spag issues or readability, but I will keep an open mind, as always.
The "were" is as it should be.
The reference at the end is up to the reader, but as you can see, I did not capitalize, so from my perspective, it was not meant to be specifically about Jesus, but about the many who have died for causes to better mankind and have promised to return, as there have been many who have done so throughout history.
I hope this clears any of the muddy waters you encountered while reading and I thank you for your thoughts.
Curt
