Little Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 20 "A Bullet Poem"Small and Specialty Poems
7 total reviews
Comment from yonashalom
This poem flows really well. I like the rhyme. You have become good friends with Ritchie I see. :) Nice guy. Best wishes in your writing. ~Yona
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2013
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This poem flows really well. I like the rhyme. You have become good friends with Ritchie I see. :) Nice guy. Best wishes in your writing. ~Yona
Comment Written 20-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2013
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Thank you Yona. He encourages me to try new things.
Comment from 9999pool
One nit in author's note: 'Though' -> 'Thought'.
Treischel, this is a fantastic poem. Although the 1st and last stanza have repeated last three syllables, it is hardly noticeable. I didn't that's for sure.
Most probably, I will try another one and write about you in it since you mention me in the poem (a poem for a poem, LOL).
The poem used the words "fool" and "humble" - words commonly associated with the poetic world of the poets which some poets like to describe themselves, like me, LOL.
Poets can make a dead flower smells so fragrant and beautiful like the dead sunflowers of Vincent van Gogh (somehow, the meaning of 'fool' has been provoked).
Often a poet will used the word 'humbled' when given praise - you see, poets are very sensitive and humble people (and that's what made them great).
This 'Bullet Poem' gave emphasis to the last three syllables of the 1st stanza and like a bullet landed on the Bull's Eye and the conclusion: (combination of all the last 3 syllables of the 4 lines)
"This new tool poem, I see, of this old fool (as) meant to be". And this is like the 'Treischelet' of combining phrases.
Note: "Angelheart" will be doing a new 'Special Masterpiece Artwork' for all of us who complimented her, as her way of thanking us.
Since Picture Poem is one of your favorite - her abstract imagery should be easy for you to write your poem based on her abstract imagery.
The theme "Abstract Imagery Poem" - looks challenging enough, isn't it?
Excellent write in just for stanza and I considered this a special tribute too from dear friend Treischel. Thank you.
FS wouldn't allow me to give you a sixers because of their rules.
Cheerio, Ritchie.
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2013
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One nit in author's note: 'Though' -> 'Thought'.
Treischel, this is a fantastic poem. Although the 1st and last stanza have repeated last three syllables, it is hardly noticeable. I didn't that's for sure.
Most probably, I will try another one and write about you in it since you mention me in the poem (a poem for a poem, LOL).
The poem used the words "fool" and "humble" - words commonly associated with the poetic world of the poets which some poets like to describe themselves, like me, LOL.
Poets can make a dead flower smells so fragrant and beautiful like the dead sunflowers of Vincent van Gogh (somehow, the meaning of 'fool' has been provoked).
Often a poet will used the word 'humbled' when given praise - you see, poets are very sensitive and humble people (and that's what made them great).
This 'Bullet Poem' gave emphasis to the last three syllables of the 1st stanza and like a bullet landed on the Bull's Eye and the conclusion: (combination of all the last 3 syllables of the 4 lines)
"This new tool poem, I see, of this old fool (as) meant to be". And this is like the 'Treischelet' of combining phrases.
Note: "Angelheart" will be doing a new 'Special Masterpiece Artwork' for all of us who complimented her, as her way of thanking us.
Since Picture Poem is one of your favorite - her abstract imagery should be easy for you to write your poem based on her abstract imagery.
The theme "Abstract Imagery Poem" - looks challenging enough, isn't it?
Excellent write in just for stanza and I considered this a special tribute too from dear friend Treischel. Thank you.
FS wouldn't allow me to give you a sixers because of their rules.
Cheerio, Ritchie.
Comment Written 18-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2013
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Thanks Ritchie, I actually got a six on it during a review.
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Yes, Trieschel.
I wanted to give a six for its simplicity in making a point about a new style and the rhyming is excellent too but FS forbids.
Do try out the "Gertuu", compliments of Gert Sherwood - she doesn't want to miss out on the action, LOL!
My "Blooming Mess" demonstrates why this "Gertuu" is a favorie of mine too!
Cheerio, Rithcie.
Comment from trimple
A very interesting poem you have written here Tom
I love this style, I shall try it this week.
Trust the enthusiastic Richie to conjure such a great idea.
Kind regards Trimple:)
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2013
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A very interesting poem you have written here Tom
I love this style, I shall try it this week.
Trust the enthusiastic Richie to conjure such a great idea.
Kind regards Trimple:)
Comment Written 18-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2013
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Thanks Trimple. Give it a go!
Comment from Robin Gilmor
I enjoyed your poem which has a typical abab rhyme form. The first and last
stanza are just repeats of the same rhyme words instead of repeat lines.
Anyway, I like your poem. I like your subject and I like your presentation no matter what form. Smiles Robin :)
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2013
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I enjoyed your poem which has a typical abab rhyme form. The first and last
stanza are just repeats of the same rhyme words instead of repeat lines.
Anyway, I like your poem. I like your subject and I like your presentation no matter what form. Smiles Robin :)
Comment Written 18-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2013
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Thanks Robin. Slightly different due to the three syllable requirement, which can be three words. Such as: "poem, I see", in mine.
Comment from Joannforsberg
Hum, I read Richie yet I missed this new style he created. I shall have to go back and check. As always your poem is well written. Best wishes to you on possibly being the poem of the month. Truly hope you receive it, and of course I voted for you.
Blessings, JO
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2013
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Hum, I read Richie yet I missed this new style he created. I shall have to go back and check. As always your poem is well written. Best wishes to you on possibly being the poem of the month. Truly hope you receive it, and of course I voted for you.
Blessings, JO
Comment Written 18-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2013
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Thank you Jo. That is such exciting news.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
I like this one a lot, Treischel, it's a much better style than repeating the whole line. It makes it a lot easier to do as well. I will have a look at Richie's poem. I didn't know AngelHeart is leaving? I thought your poem was written really well, I do prefer rhyming poems, but that is only my preference. A worthy 6 any day!! xsx Sandra
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2013
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I like this one a lot, Treischel, it's a much better style than repeating the whole line. It makes it a lot easier to do as well. I will have a look at Richie's poem. I didn't know AngelHeart is leaving? I thought your poem was written really well, I do prefer rhyming poems, but that is only my preference. A worthy 6 any day!! xsx Sandra
Comment Written 18-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2013
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A very pleasant surprise, thank you Sandra
Comment from Evelyn Fort Stewart
I didn't know Ritchie was called bullet. He is one fine guy. This is a very nice poem. I never knew there were so many different styles of poetry. I better stick to my short stories but I enjoy reading the poems you all write. God loves you and I do too.
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2013
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I didn't know Ritchie was called bullet. He is one fine guy. This is a very nice poem. I never knew there were so many different styles of poetry. I better stick to my short stories but I enjoy reading the poems you all write. God loves you and I do too.
Comment Written 18-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2013
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Thank you again. Ritchie is a character.
