Out of My Shell
I'm Coming...41 total reviews
Comment from Rondeno
This one is fantastic. How good is "tangerine frustration"? If anyone needs a lesson in how to make the stressed and unstressed syllables read naturally, I'll point them to this poem. It's a gem!
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2013
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This one is fantastic. How good is "tangerine frustration"? If anyone needs a lesson in how to make the stressed and unstressed syllables read naturally, I'll point them to this poem. It's a gem!
Comment Written 23-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2013
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LOL Thanks Mike. Yep the old tangering frustration was really raging...not to mention stinking to high heaven about a week or so later.
Now whats this about a lesson? LOL Your rhythm is fine, my man. Haha You need to recommend your OWN work mate...you're expert.
Cheers P
xx
Comment from MissMerri
Oh wow, what a thing to happen! I have never tried crayfish, but now I'm pretty sure I never want to. This is a most unusual poem, written in flawless meter and great rhymes. I really enjoyed this all the way through. By using the point of view of the crayfish, you added to the humor of the piece. Nicely done CPJ.
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2013
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Oh wow, what a thing to happen! I have never tried crayfish, but now I'm pretty sure I never want to. This is a most unusual poem, written in flawless meter and great rhymes. I really enjoyed this all the way through. By using the point of view of the crayfish, you added to the humor of the piece. Nicely done CPJ.
Comment Written 22-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2013
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Thanks Adonna. Yes I definitely recommend the crab! LOL
cheers Clo
xo
Comment from Jean Lutz
Since I live where crayfish are plentiful, I knew what was coming from this little mudbug. No wonder the crusty little devils turn red and have horns. At least your turned the yukky memory into a delightful bite.
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2013
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Since I live where crayfish are plentiful, I knew what was coming from this little mudbug. No wonder the crusty little devils turn red and have horns. At least your turned the yukky memory into a delightful bite.
Comment Written 09-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2013
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Haha thanks so much, glad you enjoyed this stinky tail.
Cheers P
x
Comment from mojo78
Ha Ha this is certainly a lesson from life poem LOL, so many directions this poem could take. Once again very visual with good flow and lots of good potential. I see this as a short story about the selfish crab fish that wanted to get its own back on a family that neglected it LOL.
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2013
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Ha Ha this is certainly a lesson from life poem LOL, so many directions this poem could take. Once again very visual with good flow and lots of good potential. I see this as a short story about the selfish crab fish that wanted to get its own back on a family that neglected it LOL.
Comment Written 09-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2013
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LOL Thanks for an awesome review my friend.
Cheers P
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Your welcome enjoyed the read x
Comment from tlad1026
This is a really cute poem, and being from Louisiana, as i am, i can appreciate it greatly! Crawfish definetly do not have a pleasant smell, however, they are very tasty to a Louisiana girl like myself! Ive missed reading your poetry, as i have been gone awhile. Your talent still shows! :)
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2013
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This is a really cute poem, and being from Louisiana, as i am, i can appreciate it greatly! Crawfish definetly do not have a pleasant smell, however, they are very tasty to a Louisiana girl like myself! Ive missed reading your poetry, as i have been gone awhile. Your talent still shows! :)
Comment Written 09-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2013
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Thanks so much for stopping by, awesome review and much appreciated.
Cheers P
Comment from Dougspoetry
A very tasty, or should I say, smelly poem. What can I say? You always deliver smooth rhymes and great meter. Sometimes though, your word choices can be a little stinky. :) Wish I had a SIX!
God Bless!
Doug
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2013
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A very tasty, or should I say, smelly poem. What can I say? You always deliver smooth rhymes and great meter. Sometimes though, your word choices can be a little stinky. :) Wish I had a SIX!
God Bless!
Doug
Comment Written 09-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2013
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Thanks Doug...yes a stinky one. Haha
Glad you liked my word choices although a little on the nose.
You obviously have a very strong stomach! Haha
Cheers P
x
Comment from ravenblack
you have a scalpel-sharp wit. keep giving voice to the inanimate ( the ball, and, well, the crayfish was on his way to becoming a corpse). love your sense of language ( shafted shellfish in a bag, tangerine frustration). and it is no crime to rhyme if you do it right. you never go for the obvious rhyme and the rhythm and tone is original enough tom elevate you far above any kind of hallmark crime.
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2013
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you have a scalpel-sharp wit. keep giving voice to the inanimate ( the ball, and, well, the crayfish was on his way to becoming a corpse). love your sense of language ( shafted shellfish in a bag, tangerine frustration). and it is no crime to rhyme if you do it right. you never go for the obvious rhyme and the rhythm and tone is original enough tom elevate you far above any kind of hallmark crime.
Comment Written 08-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2013
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Ooh like a scalpel, how lovely! Haha...Awesome review, many thanks. I REALLY appreciate your choice analysis.
Have a great day...
Cheers P
Comment from Righteous Riter
The message in this piece as the story is told clearly. The rhyming is good as this piece flows well. The harmony is where it needs to be. My attention is captured from the beginning and held to the end. Good job.
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2013
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The message in this piece as the story is told clearly. The rhyming is good as this piece flows well. The harmony is where it needs to be. My attention is captured from the beginning and held to the end. Good job.
Comment Written 08-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2013
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Many thanks, I appreciate your thoughtful review.
Cheers P
Comment from strandregs
Brilliant, perfect metering and rhyming and story telling.
your subconcious made you "forget" and subverted your nose
because he "knows" :)Z.
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2013
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Brilliant, perfect metering and rhyming and story telling.
your subconcious made you "forget" and subverted your nose
because he "knows" :)Z.
Comment Written 08-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2013
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Wow thanks for the sixer review Z. It means a lot. Glad you enjoyed the stench. haha
Cheers P
x
Comment from Shirlena
This is so funny and I'm feeling your presentation all over the place. This is truly entertaining and well written giving off something extra, that it is a true to life situation.
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2013
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This is so funny and I'm feeling your presentation all over the place. This is truly entertaining and well written giving off something extra, that it is a true to life situation.
Comment Written 07-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2013
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LOL Thanks so much Shirlena, I much appreciate your thoughtful review.
Cheers P
