Along the Jericho Road
Viewing comments for Chapter 30 "A Hoka Moon, Pt. 2"Murder Mystery
49 total reviews
Comment from Joan E.
I particularly liked your descriptive phrase, "in the guise of an irksome, gun nuzzling retiree" and your comparison of the detective to "a good bird dog," along with his "sixth sense". (By the way, I'm also a "contentedly lapsed Catholic"!) As I read continue to your episodes, I think how effective they'd be as a television series. Hugs- Joan
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2013
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I particularly liked your descriptive phrase, "in the guise of an irksome, gun nuzzling retiree" and your comparison of the detective to "a good bird dog," along with his "sixth sense". (By the way, I'm also a "contentedly lapsed Catholic"!) As I read continue to your episodes, I think how effective they'd be as a television series. Hugs- Joan
Comment Written 31-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2013
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Thanks so much, Joan. I appreciate your shared insights, as I always like to know how the chapters are perceived by consistent readers. Your encouragement and generosity are very much appreciated, my friend. Hugs, Bev
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
you draw me in so easily and
the build up of tension holds me
and then leaves me wanting to read
on - such great writing, Bev
I unterstand - I took this mis-spelling to be deliberate for accent???
necessary, Father Brian[.](,)" Skeets said - comma
extended period of time(.)" - period
All your chapters are deserving of a six.
Margaret
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2013
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you draw me in so easily and
the build up of tension holds me
and then leaves me wanting to read
on - such great writing, Bev
I unterstand - I took this mis-spelling to be deliberate for accent???
necessary, Father Brian[.](,)" Skeets said - comma
extended period of time(.)" - period
All your chapters are deserving of a six.
Margaret
Comment Written 31-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2013
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Margaret, you are such a gracious and generous lady. Thank you for catching my spaggies. Sheez, I think I forgot to use spell check.
This generous review is especially rewarding coming from a writer of your caliber. Thank you so very much!
Warmest regards, Bev
Comment from FLutterodt
I like this detective story. I have not read the previous chapter and I will do that immediately as it is going to really bring meaning and enjoyment to this piece. I like the way all the characters are working in this writing. It is very captivating. Well done
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2013
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I like this detective story. I have not read the previous chapter and I will do that immediately as it is going to really bring meaning and enjoyment to this piece. I like the way all the characters are working in this writing. It is very captivating. Well done
Comment Written 31-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2013
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Thank you much, FL. I really appreciate your generous and gracious review. It's heart-warming to know you enjoyed the chapter! Kind regards, Bev
Comment from Norbanus
OUtstanding bit of story building, Bev, Your detective seems as if he's fresh off 'Law and Order' or 'CSI'. Nicely developed with excellent dialogue and scene setting.
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2013
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OUtstanding bit of story building, Bev, Your detective seems as if he's fresh off 'Law and Order' or 'CSI'. Nicely developed with excellent dialogue and scene setting.
Comment Written 31-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2013
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Wow, thank you Norbanus. Especially nice coming from you! I appreciate your gracious and generous review. Warmest regards, Bev
Comment from wordsfromsue
Should the reader know who's ear it is? I'm going blank. If I should, I'll go back and reread.
Poor Fritz is either dead as a door knob or terrified and buck nekky. Both awful alternatives.
Poor Father Brian. This guy's been through the wringer. I wish I could open a can of whoop butt and help him out.
Who'd want a decapitated ear? Yick. Oh right. One of the guilty people from the past (guilty to the killer) who heard evil happening and did nothing. Turned a deaf ear?
Really awesome whacked chapter, Bev!
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2013
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Should the reader know who's ear it is? I'm going blank. If I should, I'll go back and reread.
Poor Fritz is either dead as a door knob or terrified and buck nekky. Both awful alternatives.
Poor Father Brian. This guy's been through the wringer. I wish I could open a can of whoop butt and help him out.
Who'd want a decapitated ear? Yick. Oh right. One of the guilty people from the past (guilty to the killer) who heard evil happening and did nothing. Turned a deaf ear?
Really awesome whacked chapter, Bev!
Comment Written 30-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2013
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Hiya, Sue. Nope, nobody but me knows whose ear it is yet LOL. Love your review, my friend. And thanks for your generous rating. Hugs, Bev
Comment from chasennov
'On my way. I'll let you know if I need back-up.' A good story, well told and well structured. It has a sound rounding and a strong extension to the narrative. Kind regards.
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2013
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'On my way. I'll let you know if I need back-up.' A good story, well told and well structured. It has a sound rounding and a strong extension to the narrative. Kind regards.
Comment Written 30-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2013
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Hi, Chasennov. Thank you for this great review. I appreciate you taking time read and review. Warmest regards, Bev
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You're very welcome. Kind regards.
Comment from Connie C
When I read your chapters, Bev, I feel like I'm watching a segment from a CSI or detective series on TV. You have obviously done your research, your characters are fully developed, and you are so good at setting the scene. Also, I couldn't find a single SPAG, try as I might so I could offer at least some kind of helpful feedback. You got my vote, by the way, for novel of the month. Last time I checked you were either in the lead or close to it. I hope you win, my friend. I have no more sixes for the week, but believe me, you would get one if there were any left.
Hugs,
Connie xoxo
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2013
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When I read your chapters, Bev, I feel like I'm watching a segment from a CSI or detective series on TV. You have obviously done your research, your characters are fully developed, and you are so good at setting the scene. Also, I couldn't find a single SPAG, try as I might so I could offer at least some kind of helpful feedback. You got my vote, by the way, for novel of the month. Last time I checked you were either in the lead or close to it. I hope you win, my friend. I have no more sixes for the week, but believe me, you would get one if there were any left.
Hugs,
Connie xoxo
Comment Written 30-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2013
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Hi, Connie. I thank you so much for your wonderful, supportive words. You are such a gracious and faithful friend. And to think you voted for my story with so many awesome choices, well I'm honored beyond words. A million thanks, Connie. Hugs, Bev
Comment from Cumbrianlass
Well you just keep piling it on. This is a stellar chapter, Bev, well worthy of a line of sixes. You're still rationed, I'm afraid.
Your characters are so real, so human. They 'fit ' their roles perfectly. The thoughts, the dialogue. Brilliant.
This is quite the story. Talk about leaving us with a hook!
The only thing I'd point out is that, as I understand it, you don't need quotations with thoughts. If you state 'he thought' it's straight font, no quotes. If it's just the thought, it can go in italics.
Not that this takes anything from the story.
Love the little details, like the shopping list and picking up the phone on the second ring, and the smell of formaldehyde. All these things just add to the professional level of your writing, Bev. This is sure to be snapped up by a publisher.
Can't wait for the next installment!
Love ya!
Av
xx
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2013
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Well you just keep piling it on. This is a stellar chapter, Bev, well worthy of a line of sixes. You're still rationed, I'm afraid.
Your characters are so real, so human. They 'fit ' their roles perfectly. The thoughts, the dialogue. Brilliant.
This is quite the story. Talk about leaving us with a hook!
The only thing I'd point out is that, as I understand it, you don't need quotations with thoughts. If you state 'he thought' it's straight font, no quotes. If it's just the thought, it can go in italics.
Not that this takes anything from the story.
Love the little details, like the shopping list and picking up the phone on the second ring, and the smell of formaldehyde. All these things just add to the professional level of your writing, Bev. This is sure to be snapped up by a publisher.
Can't wait for the next installment!
Love ya!
Av
xx
Comment Written 30-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2013
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Hi, Av. Thanks so much for this truly uplifting review. I'm very honored by your encouraging insights and impressions. And I do appreciate you setting me straight on the quotation marks.
I so appreciate your enthusiasm for my story. Your virtual six is truly a cherry on top.
Love ya, Av
Bev
Love ya, Bev
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I'm just in awe of your writing. Also, the plot, the way it's building and unwinding. Superb work, my friend. I wouldn't know where to bloody start with a murder/mystery!
Step aside, Cornwell!
xx
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Aw, thanks so much, Av. What a gracious friend you are. XXXXoo Bev
Comment from Slythytove2
Equally as good as part one. This is the only book I'm reading like a bedside novel I just want to see what happens and how you do it, critique and points are by the way.
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2013
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Equally as good as part one. This is the only book I'm reading like a bedside novel I just want to see what happens and how you do it, critique and points are by the way.
Comment Written 30-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2013
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Thank you so very much, Sly. What a gracious and generous review you have gifted me with. I really appreciate the encouragement and support. Warmest regards, Bev
Comment from PoeticXscape
This was so good it left me with cold chills up my spine. I can see this being a tv series. I think it would work well on screen. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2013
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This was so good it left me with cold chills up my spine. I can see this being a tv series. I think it would work well on screen. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 30-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2013
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Thank you so much, PXS, for this truly awesome review. I sure appreciate your generosity and encouragement. Warmest regards, Bev
