From Then and there to Here and Now
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "Back to Civilian Life"Life experiences
5 total reviews
Comment from suneagle
Your memoirs continue to entertain, John. My observations are fairly minor this time. However, I'd like you to think about your affair with the colon. Don't let it detract from the force of your writing.
Not long after I started there, they sent me to programming school in Chicago to learn COBOL (COmmon Business-Oriented Language[).]
(The period comes after the closing bracket unless the entire sentence is within parenthesis.)
I visited my old haunts at LaSalle to renew the relationship and bring everyone [up-to-date].
[Ta-da!]
"The Greatest Salesman in the World," "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance," "The Master Key to Riches," [were others.]
Two days later, I get a call:
"Mr. Stachura, this is the Director at Combined Insurance. Can you come by for a presentation next week?"
(This colon, then dialogue, is becoming a distracting habit. It is effective occasionally, but a roadblock when you overdo it. I slows down the pace of your story and takes away from the flow of your narrative.)
They were loaded for bear.
(I am not familiar with that idiom. I assume it is an Americanism.)
My new manager came to the wake and tried to comfort me by saying:
"Maybe you don't pray enough."
(I suggest breaking the habit here:
My new manager came to the wake and tried to comfort me by saying, "Maybe you don't pray enough.")
suddenly realized how this thing called "life" is totally interconnected.
(I'm surprised it took you so long to make the connection.)
I effectively wiped out all false belief, propaganda, indoctrination and useless value systems.
(Congratulations.)
I look forward to the next chapter.
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2013
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Your memoirs continue to entertain, John. My observations are fairly minor this time. However, I'd like you to think about your affair with the colon. Don't let it detract from the force of your writing.
Not long after I started there, they sent me to programming school in Chicago to learn COBOL (COmmon Business-Oriented Language[).]
(The period comes after the closing bracket unless the entire sentence is within parenthesis.)
I visited my old haunts at LaSalle to renew the relationship and bring everyone [up-to-date].
[Ta-da!]
"The Greatest Salesman in the World," "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance," "The Master Key to Riches," [were others.]
Two days later, I get a call:
"Mr. Stachura, this is the Director at Combined Insurance. Can you come by for a presentation next week?"
(This colon, then dialogue, is becoming a distracting habit. It is effective occasionally, but a roadblock when you overdo it. I slows down the pace of your story and takes away from the flow of your narrative.)
They were loaded for bear.
(I am not familiar with that idiom. I assume it is an Americanism.)
My new manager came to the wake and tried to comfort me by saying:
"Maybe you don't pray enough."
(I suggest breaking the habit here:
My new manager came to the wake and tried to comfort me by saying, "Maybe you don't pray enough.")
suddenly realized how this thing called "life" is totally interconnected.
(I'm surprised it took you so long to make the connection.)
I effectively wiped out all false belief, propaganda, indoctrination and useless value systems.
(Congratulations.)
I look forward to the next chapter.
Comment Written 16-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2013
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I will post the chapter 7 soon. John...
Comment from Fusion48
Hi!
I am awarding you these six stars as this is one of the best escape to reality pieces I have read in ages. I have a brother who, like you, got trapped in using only part of the brain as he too was heavily into the computer caper.
Having been fortunate enough to have been a medical test patient in 1956 for total spinal fusion in a child under the age of 7 years I learned how to use both sides of my brain at a young age. I was also blessed with two of the best parents you could get who were from two different "worlds" as my father was a city raised U.S. Marine in N.Z. on his way to WWII in the Coral Sea and my mother was a Kiwi farmer's daughter - they were from very different religions, political points of view, educational levels, and ways of seeing life yet they had 55 years together. My father stayed in the Corps for 27 years and brother and I went to 12 schools in 12 years and lived in 26 stand alone houses before he finally retired and we came to N.Z.
I learned the joy of using both sides of the brain as a child when I had to write a weekly medical report as to what "the patient" was experiencing in dispassionate language and in a logical/methodical manner. All the time there was the passionate and emotional child who loved living in the moment screaming in the background. I had to be able to write about something clinically while seeing it in an imaginative/mystical/fantastical way. I had to write those reports till I was 21 years of age but when I look back now and think how many people (young kids and adults with spinal injuries) have benefited from what I wrote and what the doctors were able to learn using me then it was worth it. Okay - being a test patient meant my education got totally messed up and the limitations carrying around a 26.5lb localizing body cast on a 78lb body is not exactly fun I was able to use both sides of my brain to see the funny side of being a human turtle and the serious side of the need to immobilize the spine.
For years I tried to get my brother to even try to play mental ping-pong but it was not till he turned 65 that he started to and how says he is really enjoying life.
Did find one thing that made me go HUH???? "out of California, near Los Angeles" Now maybe there have been as many earthquakes there as we have had recently but isn't Los Angeles in California and this should be "out in California, new Los Angeles".
Thanks for the good read and congrats on learning how to use both sides in harmony.
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2013
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Hi!
I am awarding you these six stars as this is one of the best escape to reality pieces I have read in ages. I have a brother who, like you, got trapped in using only part of the brain as he too was heavily into the computer caper.
Having been fortunate enough to have been a medical test patient in 1956 for total spinal fusion in a child under the age of 7 years I learned how to use both sides of my brain at a young age. I was also blessed with two of the best parents you could get who were from two different "worlds" as my father was a city raised U.S. Marine in N.Z. on his way to WWII in the Coral Sea and my mother was a Kiwi farmer's daughter - they were from very different religions, political points of view, educational levels, and ways of seeing life yet they had 55 years together. My father stayed in the Corps for 27 years and brother and I went to 12 schools in 12 years and lived in 26 stand alone houses before he finally retired and we came to N.Z.
I learned the joy of using both sides of the brain as a child when I had to write a weekly medical report as to what "the patient" was experiencing in dispassionate language and in a logical/methodical manner. All the time there was the passionate and emotional child who loved living in the moment screaming in the background. I had to be able to write about something clinically while seeing it in an imaginative/mystical/fantastical way. I had to write those reports till I was 21 years of age but when I look back now and think how many people (young kids and adults with spinal injuries) have benefited from what I wrote and what the doctors were able to learn using me then it was worth it. Okay - being a test patient meant my education got totally messed up and the limitations carrying around a 26.5lb localizing body cast on a 78lb body is not exactly fun I was able to use both sides of my brain to see the funny side of being a human turtle and the serious side of the need to immobilize the spine.
For years I tried to get my brother to even try to play mental ping-pong but it was not till he turned 65 that he started to and how says he is really enjoying life.
Did find one thing that made me go HUH???? "out of California, near Los Angeles" Now maybe there have been as many earthquakes there as we have had recently but isn't Los Angeles in California and this should be "out in California, new Los Angeles".
Thanks for the good read and congrats on learning how to use both sides in harmony.
Comment Written 15-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2013
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You humble me. I hope you enjoy the rest of the book. John...
Comment from Beverley101
Well done. You are one heck of a go-getter and sure have led a busy life. Your story is interesting and the dialogue well-written. Good luck.
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2013
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Well done. You are one heck of a go-getter and sure have led a busy life. Your story is interesting and the dialogue well-written. Good luck.
Comment Written 15-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2013
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I hope you have a chance to critique the previous chapters. Thank you...John
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Will try and get to them from time to time. Thanks. Bev
Comment from angelmagnet
very good story. Have you heard of cognitive dissonance. That sounds like what the epiphany you experienced describes. I wanted to know more about what the trauma was when your father died. Why did it knock your socks off? Also please tell more about your ecstatic experience of the California coastline. Did it make you feel small, expansive, part of the ebb and flow of the universe. Tell me more please
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2013
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very good story. Have you heard of cognitive dissonance. That sounds like what the epiphany you experienced describes. I wanted to know more about what the trauma was when your father died. Why did it knock your socks off? Also please tell more about your ecstatic experience of the California coastline. Did it make you feel small, expansive, part of the ebb and flow of the universe. Tell me more please
Comment Written 15-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2013
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The book eventually go into grater detail. I am using this site to get input just like you gave me. Read the previous chapters, if you like...John
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glad to help. That's what I'm doing, also
Comment from Norbanus
A real telling experience aryying through this summary You gave us quite a history her, which could build into situation of character building at some point.
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2013
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A real telling experience aryying through this summary You gave us quite a history her, which could build into situation of character building at some point.
Comment Written 15-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2013
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Thanks so much. The denouement is upcoming...John
