Along the Jericho Road
Viewing comments for Chapter 28 "Kahije Moon"Murder Mystery
43 total reviews
Comment from robina1978
I can imagine she is angry that her mother did not tell her about her dead sister. Maybe that explains why she is trying to locate a killer. I wonder what was in that box.
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2013
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I can imagine she is angry that her mother did not tell her about her dead sister. Maybe that explains why she is trying to locate a killer. I wonder what was in that box.
Comment Written 06-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2013
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Ine, thanks for taking time to read and review my chapter. Another surprise waits in the box! Kind regards, Bev
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I am sure there will be.
Comment from DALLAS01
Great chapter. Full of suspense. I was thinking that what was blocking the door was another dead body. Again I am so impressed by the way you depict simple physical maneuverings.
Hank Gephart clamped his fingers around the handle of the metal bucket and put his back into the restroom door. Simultaneously, he bumped his elbow against the wall switch, extinguishing the room's light. His backwards
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2013
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Great chapter. Full of suspense. I was thinking that what was blocking the door was another dead body. Again I am so impressed by the way you depict simple physical maneuverings.
Hank Gephart clamped his fingers around the handle of the metal bucket and put his back into the restroom door. Simultaneously, he bumped his elbow against the wall switch, extinguishing the room's light. His backwards
Comment Written 06-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2013
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Hi, Dallas. Thank you very much for this awesome review. And, a special thanks for the input about the physical descriptions. That means a lot because I'm working at doing a better job with that. So appreciate your encouragement, support and so-generous six, my friend. Warmest regards, Bev
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You're welcome.
Comment from Chanphy
This is going along nicely. You have given very clear descriptions in the story that the reader can imagine being there. I like the tone that you used throughout to perfectly portray the characters and bring them to life on the page. Great work. I love the use of the cliffhanger.
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2013
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This is going along nicely. You have given very clear descriptions in the story that the reader can imagine being there. I like the tone that you used throughout to perfectly portray the characters and bring them to life on the page. Great work. I love the use of the cliffhanger.
Comment Written 05-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2013
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Thank you so much, Chanphy. I really value specific input, which you have so kindly provided. Appreciate your interest and support very much. Warm regards, Bev
Comment from Gungalo
Yikes the box contained a human ear. That is pretty serious of a warning I'd say. What will the do now? Gosh this story is getting pretty involved.
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2013
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Yikes the box contained a human ear. That is pretty serious of a warning I'd say. What will the do now? Gosh this story is getting pretty involved.
Comment Written 05-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2013
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Hi, Gungalo. Yes, it is definitely full of puzzles. I think I may be channelling Agatha Christie LOL. I wish! Thanks so much for the delightful review. Warm regards, Bev
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You wouldn't? Would you? Hehehe.
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You never know what a Scorp will do LOL. Hugs, Bev
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Yikes I know.
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I would only share that with another Scorpio. :0) XX
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I figured as much you. LOL
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
writingfundimension:
People sure do get jealous when they begin perceiving
someone else may be sidling up to the one they prefer,
eh? It seems to me as if Jana is the only one thinking
halfway straight on this case right now.
thanks for sharing
love,
jan
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2013
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writingfundimension:
People sure do get jealous when they begin perceiving
someone else may be sidling up to the one they prefer,
eh? It seems to me as if Jana is the only one thinking
halfway straight on this case right now.
thanks for sharing
love,
jan
Comment Written 05-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2013
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Thank you for your great review, Jan. I really appreciate the support and encouragement. Hugs, Bev
Comment from donaldww
Am I right to detect a love triangle in the police station?
Yikes! A human ear? Has Vincent van Gogh come to St. Matilda's?
Excellent dialogue and plot has looking forward to the next post.
Cheers,
DW
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2013
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Am I right to detect a love triangle in the police station?
Yikes! A human ear? Has Vincent van Gogh come to St. Matilda's?
Excellent dialogue and plot has looking forward to the next post.
Cheers,
DW
Comment Written 05-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2013
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You are correct, Donald. Thanks for the humorous and encouraging review! Warm regards, Bev
Comment from Connie C
Oh, how creepy at the end of this chapter! A human ear? I love the build up to his discovery of the ear. You are so good, Bev, at providing a setting that adds to the mystery of the story. And I like that you might be slipping a little romance into the novel with Jana and Derek. Mystery, the supernatural, romance--this novel has it all! You should be proud, my friend. I wish FS would let me give you six stars. This is so worthy of 6+.
Hugs,
Connie
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2013
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Oh, how creepy at the end of this chapter! A human ear? I love the build up to his discovery of the ear. You are so good, Bev, at providing a setting that adds to the mystery of the story. And I like that you might be slipping a little romance into the novel with Jana and Derek. Mystery, the supernatural, romance--this novel has it all! You should be proud, my friend. I wish FS would let me give you six stars. This is so worthy of 6+.
Hugs,
Connie
Comment Written 05-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2013
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Connie, thank you so much for your awesome review, my friend. And thank you, too, for the virtual six. Your encouragement and support are mean a lot to me. Hugs, Bev
Comment from fictionwriter
ewww. I'd hate to come across something like that. Poor guy might have a heart attack. I enjoyed this tension filled chapter. Nicely done. A couple nits to consider.
He stopped just before the entrance(,) forcing her to slow in response
Minutes later(,) the entire Task
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2013
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ewww. I'd hate to come across something like that. Poor guy might have a heart attack. I enjoyed this tension filled chapter. Nicely done. A couple nits to consider.
He stopped just before the entrance(,) forcing her to slow in response
Minutes later(,) the entire Task
Comment Written 05-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2013
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Thanks for the sharp eye, FW. I always appreciate getting your insights and thank you for your generous review! Bev
Comment from Joan E.
I really like your sprinkling of Sioux terms--this one makes the title especially appealing. Thanks too for the recap to put us back in the scene and the suspense of what "famous" might mean. I could understand Detective Burke's quandary, and "Confusing trust with desire" is an insightful line. I had not thought before about how police must need to get involved due to "hypervigilant," faraway relatives! More folks should consider the "pepper spray... alternative" too. You're conclusion was quite unexpected--you are such a good storyteller! Cheers- Joan
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2013
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I really like your sprinkling of Sioux terms--this one makes the title especially appealing. Thanks too for the recap to put us back in the scene and the suspense of what "famous" might mean. I could understand Detective Burke's quandary, and "Confusing trust with desire" is an insightful line. I had not thought before about how police must need to get involved due to "hypervigilant," faraway relatives! More folks should consider the "pepper spray... alternative" too. You're conclusion was quite unexpected--you are such a good storyteller! Cheers- Joan
Comment Written 05-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2013
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Joan, thanks so much for this very gracious review. I really appreciate your great insights, your support and, as always, your generosity. You are most kind, my friend. Hugs, Bev
Comment from JM daSilva
Very good dialogue and descriptions made me follow the story easily. Great.
I have some editing suggestions for you.
"Excuse me, Sir?" (lowercase, unless there is a name Sir John)
set you apart, Detective. (lowercase, use uppercase with names)
Minutes later the entire Task Force, minus Skeets Epstein (,)who was interviewing Debra Padget's neighbors a second time, assembled in Sheriff Oleson's office.
Minutes later the entire Task Force - minus Skeets Epstein, (parenthetical who) who was interviewing Debra Padget's neighbors a second time - assembled in Sheriff Oleson's office.
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2013
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Very good dialogue and descriptions made me follow the story easily. Great.
I have some editing suggestions for you.
"Excuse me, Sir?" (lowercase, unless there is a name Sir John)
set you apart, Detective. (lowercase, use uppercase with names)
Minutes later the entire Task Force, minus Skeets Epstein (,)who was interviewing Debra Padget's neighbors a second time, assembled in Sheriff Oleson's office.
Minutes later the entire Task Force - minus Skeets Epstein, (parenthetical who) who was interviewing Debra Padget's neighbors a second time - assembled in Sheriff Oleson's office.
Comment Written 05-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2013
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Hi, JM. Thank you for your very helpful review. I really appreciate you taking time to read! Warm regards, Bev
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You're welcome.
