All Those Puzzling Pieces
Viewing comments for Chapter 44 "Bites of Delight"What makes a life? How do the pieces fit?
84 total reviews
Comment from Glasstruth
A very relaxed look it is of you. Looking back sounds pretty good, especially when you write "feasting on life now
savoring each flavor in small dreamy exquisitely creamy
bites of delight" The rhyming and flow just perfect. Growing older sounds just fine. Great! Les
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2013
  |
A very relaxed look it is of you. Looking back sounds pretty good, especially when you write "feasting on life now
savoring each flavor in small dreamy exquisitely creamy
bites of delight" The rhyming and flow just perfect. Growing older sounds just fine. Great! Les
Comment Written 01-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2013
-
You know I'm lying thru my teeth, Les, right? :))))) Sharyn
Comment from adewpearl
I like the internal rhyme of tattered battered
and of dear peer
good assonance in almost as tall
nice alliterative hyphenate in glory-glee
excellent use of enjambment to enhance the flow of your lines
I love the exuberant image of taking life in huge famished gulps
and in feasting on life :-)
Brooke
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2013
|
I like the internal rhyme of tattered battered
and of dear peer
good assonance in almost as tall
nice alliterative hyphenate in glory-glee
excellent use of enjambment to enhance the flow of your lines
I love the exuberant image of taking life in huge famished gulps
and in feasting on life :-)
Brooke
Comment Written 01-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2013
-
absolutely! thx Brooke!
Comment from Cornelius2000
Quite charming, this little monologue to oneself. I like the presentation too, with the graceful shapes on the pink background. And to respond to your question, yes, growing older does indeed have its compensations. Nice job.
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2013
|
Quite charming, this little monologue to oneself. I like the presentation too, with the graceful shapes on the pink background. And to respond to your question, yes, growing older does indeed have its compensations. Nice job.
Comment Written 01-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2013
-
thx Dave!
Comment from mermaids
You are a little tattered is a line that draws the reader into the poem. I like the structure of the poem, quite a design, not easy to write. Feasting on life now is also a line that I enjoy, it is positive and uplifting.
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2013
|
You are a little tattered is a line that draws the reader into the poem. I like the structure of the poem, quite a design, not easy to write. Feasting on life now is also a line that I enjoy, it is positive and uplifting.
Comment Written 01-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2013
-
thx mermaids!
Comment from Liilia
This poem is so 'on target' about a woman's passages from girlhood, motherhood and old age. It has a poignant humor which is perfect for someone who is finally accepting that gravity and time do their thing on us all. I love how you describe the little joys of one who has moved on from the flush of youth and now has time to ponder and look about at the wonders of life. The image goes perfectly with this very warm and fuzzy piece.
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2013
|
This poem is so 'on target' about a woman's passages from girlhood, motherhood and old age. It has a poignant humor which is perfect for someone who is finally accepting that gravity and time do their thing on us all. I love how you describe the little joys of one who has moved on from the flush of youth and now has time to ponder and look about at the wonders of life. The image goes perfectly with this very warm and fuzzy piece.
Comment Written 01-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2013
-
thx so much Liilia!
Comment from Robin Gilmor
I see my mother every day in the mirror and we are becoming good friends all over again. Your verse is delightful and an easy read that shares the passing of time and moments. Lovely. Robin :)
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2013
|
I see my mother every day in the mirror and we are becoming good friends all over again. Your verse is delightful and an easy read that shares the passing of time and moments. Lovely. Robin :)
Comment Written 01-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2013
-
thx so much Robin - happy New Year my dear!
Comment from Mike K2
I really enjoyed reading this well written and conceived poem, and particularly like the way in which the structure allows it to be read. In one sense, a poem about you, but in another sense, comes across to the reader as a conversation.
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2013
|
I really enjoyed reading this well written and conceived poem, and particularly like the way in which the structure allows it to be read. In one sense, a poem about you, but in another sense, comes across to the reader as a conversation.
Comment Written 01-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2013
-
thank you so much Mike!
Comment from Father Flaps
Hi Mystery Poet,
I enjoyed your entry for this contest.
I especially like your inner rhymes,
"tattered/battered"
"dear/peer"
"fast/surpassing"
"son/one"
"pleasures/treasures"
"abound/found"
"things/wing"
"clouds/shrouded"
"blue/you"
"coming to be/peacefully"
"place to be/you'll agree"
"dreamy/creamy"
"bites/delight"
***************************************
You are beginning to look like your mother,
"peer into the mirror now ...
more each day, your mother looks back at you"
You have some nice alliteration, for example
"glory-glee"
"glowing greens"
Loaded with assonance, for example
"peer into the mirror"
"greens of trees"
"not a bad place to be you'll agree"
"dreamy exquisitely creamy"
"bites of delight"
It all makes your poem flow so smoothly.
I think I know who you are, but since this is a secret contest, I won't put forth my guess.
This poem should be a contender for sure.
Good Luck!
Kimbob
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2013
 |
Hi Mystery Poet,
I enjoyed your entry for this contest.
I especially like your inner rhymes,
"tattered/battered"
"dear/peer"
"fast/surpassing"
"son/one"
"pleasures/treasures"
"abound/found"
"things/wing"
"clouds/shrouded"
"blue/you"
"coming to be/peacefully"
"place to be/you'll agree"
"dreamy/creamy"
"bites/delight"
***************************************
You are beginning to look like your mother,
"peer into the mirror now ...
more each day, your mother looks back at you"
You have some nice alliteration, for example
"glory-glee"
"glowing greens"
Loaded with assonance, for example
"peer into the mirror"
"greens of trees"
"not a bad place to be you'll agree"
"dreamy exquisitely creamy"
"bites of delight"
It all makes your poem flow so smoothly.
I think I know who you are, but since this is a secret contest, I won't put forth my guess.
This poem should be a contender for sure.
Good Luck!
Kimbob
Comment Written 01-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2013
-
thx so much for your thorough reading & review Kimbob!
Comment from poetic1988
This is beautiful poem I like how the last 15 lines seems to just flow together and how its something I can see. Its not like a run on that goes on forever.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2013
 |
This is beautiful poem I like how the last 15 lines seems to just flow together and how its something I can see. Its not like a run on that goes on forever.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 01-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2013
-
hello my dear - did you mean to give me a '4' star? If so, then please do tell me how it needs to be improved, yes? Hopefully an error ...
Blessings for the New Year - do please read the review guidelines:
From the site FAQ page-
The site offers a six star scale for ranking work. Here's a guideline:
Six Stars (Exceptional: Simply Outstanding)
Five Stars (Excellent: Enjoyable and no revisions needed)
Four Stars (Good: Adjustments needed) - For anything this rating or below, PLEASE provide feedback so that your rating makes sense and gives me understanding. :)
Three Stars (Below average)
Two Stars (Below Average: Needs lots of work)
One Star (Poor: Major revision required)
Please do not rate at a level that indicates you feel it needs revision or adjustments without sharing what those are; it is important for the author to know the reasoning behind the rating or it can be confusing. :)
Thank you for stopping by and we hope these reviewing guidelines help those who are new understand how reviewing/rating works. For specifics on how to review the various different forms of writing (poems vs. short works, etc), see the FAQs part of the site under the 'INFO' tab. There is a lot of helpful information.
Comment from elliejean
Growing older definitely has compensations, I can enjoy today and not worry so much about tomorrow. My face shows the path my life has taken and I am proud. Great work.
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2013
|
Growing older definitely has compensations, I can enjoy today and not worry so much about tomorrow. My face shows the path my life has taken and I am proud. Great work.
Comment Written 01-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2013
-
good for you elliejean! me too my dear! happy New Year!
