Family
Viewing comments for Chapter 16 "Electric Lady"Personal poems
15 total reviews
Comment from GarthL
Fantastic, I love the photo you use and can see the love that abounds there. The blue background works beautifully with the electric theme of your poem! Your four stanzas of aabb rhyming are very descriptive of the obvious love you found and still enjoy. Your concluding line, 'You're Alive, Electric, A Living Orgasm!', is a gem and re-iterates your deep love. Well written, I did enjoy the read about your 'hippy dayz' and the discovery of love.
LiveLove'n'Peace, Garth
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2012
  |
Fantastic, I love the photo you use and can see the love that abounds there. The blue background works beautifully with the electric theme of your poem! Your four stanzas of aabb rhyming are very descriptive of the obvious love you found and still enjoy. Your concluding line, 'You're Alive, Electric, A Living Orgasm!', is a gem and re-iterates your deep love. Well written, I did enjoy the read about your 'hippy dayz' and the discovery of love.
LiveLove'n'Peace, Garth
Comment Written 13-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2012
-
This review is a true blessing that will be cherished.
-
The pleasure was mine buddy, you transported me back to my 'hippy dayz' as well and they were good times!! Thanks
Comment from mauial
Sparks flew back then and now I assume :)
My Electric Lady, Hold me to your Soul.
Let me join our circuits in a Common Role
I see those lines to join your circuits in a common role as a metaphor for marriage.
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2012
|
Sparks flew back then and now I assume :)
My Electric Lady, Hold me to your Soul.
Let me join our circuits in a Common Role
I see those lines to join your circuits in a common role as a metaphor for marriage.
Comment Written 13-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2012
-
Yes my friend. Thanks.
Comment from Rondeno
Magnificent. A very powerful evocation of a certain time in our collective experience, this is - way beyond that - a triumphant ode to love. The period photo just makes it perfect. If only I had a six for you!
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2012
|
Magnificent. A very powerful evocation of a certain time in our collective experience, this is - way beyond that - a triumphant ode to love. The period photo just makes it perfect. If only I had a six for you!
Comment Written 13-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2012
-
You warm my heart. Thank you for this review Rondeno
Comment from 9999pool
The photo itself can send shock waves to the modern love and war. A loving couple wishing for a hippie life with Treasure (short for trieschel in hippie lingo, LOL).
We can see the serious eyes of Treasure telling the cameraman that he is truly in love with Caress (yes, the hippie lingo for Karen). So now you have a Treasure box of the electric caress type. Now, if this isn't a love poem, then all of you better write a better one.
If you want to know more about the treasure box of caress, available on the hot wired internet web, you just have to open the read the poem yourself. My job here is to add more passion and ensure non-imagery sex is only allowed in this contest. I found the Caress in the Treasure Box to be clean as the electricity that caress their lives.
Who knows, maybe I will get a 6 STARS for being the cheesszzky reviewer who know not what he is writing or reviewing. Don't blame him - It's Christmas and I am eagerly waiting to open this Treasure Box of Caress in Tom and Karen's home. Please don't come uninvited as this is a holy box for passionate lovers only. Cheers. Good expressions and the letter says it all.
Ritchie - the don't give me that funny look!
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2012
|
The photo itself can send shock waves to the modern love and war. A loving couple wishing for a hippie life with Treasure (short for trieschel in hippie lingo, LOL).
We can see the serious eyes of Treasure telling the cameraman that he is truly in love with Caress (yes, the hippie lingo for Karen). So now you have a Treasure box of the electric caress type. Now, if this isn't a love poem, then all of you better write a better one.
If you want to know more about the treasure box of caress, available on the hot wired internet web, you just have to open the read the poem yourself. My job here is to add more passion and ensure non-imagery sex is only allowed in this contest. I found the Caress in the Treasure Box to be clean as the electricity that caress their lives.
Who knows, maybe I will get a 6 STARS for being the cheesszzky reviewer who know not what he is writing or reviewing. Don't blame him - It's Christmas and I am eagerly waiting to open this Treasure Box of Caress in Tom and Karen's home. Please don't come uninvited as this is a holy box for passionate lovers only. Cheers. Good expressions and the letter says it all.
Ritchie - the don't give me that funny look!
Comment Written 12-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2012
-
Hey, that's cool. I like that treasure idea. Thanks vor another awesome review.
I'll have to read this to Karess.
-
Hi Trieschel,
I am sure she will say : "Don't be chheesszzky old man. One Ritchie is more than enough for us to chew!". LOL.
Have a wonderful laughing season of cheer and forgiveness. Blessings to all. Richard the sober.
Comment from lakeport
Electric lady indeed that's a very loving and romantic expressed poem, nice rhyming. I enjoyed reading it, God bless you.lakeport.
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2012
|
Electric lady indeed that's a very loving and romantic expressed poem, nice rhyming. I enjoyed reading it, God bless you.lakeport.
Comment Written 10-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2012
-
Thank you Kakeport.
-
your weccome.Lakeport
Comment from Dutchie
Your electric lady seems to have the attraction of a strong magnet... Wonderful poem with smooth flow and wonderful rhyme. You have expressed your passion for this beautiful lady very well. Really wonderful. Fia
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2012
|
Your electric lady seems to have the attraction of a strong magnet... Wonderful poem with smooth flow and wonderful rhyme. You have expressed your passion for this beautiful lady very well. Really wonderful. Fia
Comment Written 10-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2012
-
Thank so much Via. Hope you vote for it.
-
Yes, I will!!!!
Comment from EMB
Based on the wonderful way you describe this "electric lady," I'm somewhat surprised that you are surprised by your feelings for her. Perhaps some rethinking is required for that line because it makes me scratch my head.
Otherwise, this is pretty good with great rhyming.
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2012
|
Based on the wonderful way you describe this "electric lady," I'm somewhat surprised that you are surprised by your feelings for her. Perhaps some rethinking is required for that line because it makes me scratch my head.
Otherwise, this is pretty good with great rhyming.
Comment Written 10-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2012
-
I was surprised because on the day we met, I wasn't look for love, I just asked her to dance, but when I took her hand, and looked into her eyes, I was electrified, right then, at that first moment. Thanks for your review, Edward. I appreciate Input. Maybe I should add that to the notes.
Comment from Scribbler67
This is a lovely warm, exciting poem, and so original in referring to your love as 'my Electric Lady'. I particularly like 'Your skin's a magnet, as it draws my touch'. Great metaphor
4th line. 'You're alive...' not 'Your alive...'
A well-composed poem, skilfully incorporating the passion called for in the prompt. Well done, and good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2012
|
This is a lovely warm, exciting poem, and so original in referring to your love as 'my Electric Lady'. I particularly like 'Your skin's a magnet, as it draws my touch'. Great metaphor
4th line. 'You're alive...' not 'Your alive...'
A well-composed poem, skilfully incorporating the passion called for in the prompt. Well done, and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 10-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2012
-
Thanks for the review. I'll fix that.Hope you vote.
Comment from speakup
You have done a great job and this love poem it was a pleasure to read and I am sure the person it was written for still thinks of it. I am happy you brought it back to life.
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2012
|
You have done a great job and this love poem it was a pleasure to read and I am sure the person it was written for still thinks of it. I am happy you brought it back to life.
Comment Written 10-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2012
-
Thank you. I really dug into the dust bin for this one. Hope you vote today.
Comment from Angels27
Wow! What a beautiful picture and such a heart warming poem. I can imagine back in 74' this would indeed be a scorcher of a love declaration. So beautiful you guys are still together in love. God bless.
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2012
|
Wow! What a beautiful picture and such a heart warming poem. I can imagine back in 74' this would indeed be a scorcher of a love declaration. So beautiful you guys are still together in love. God bless.
Comment Written 10-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2012
-
You warm my heart Angel27. Thanks. Hope you vote today.
