All Those Puzzling Pieces
Viewing comments for Chapter 11 "Dancing With Your Shadow"What makes a life? How do the pieces fit?
84 total reviews
Comment from adewpearl
lovely alliteration in bubbling blue
good assonance of long I sounds in glide/mile
good assonance in stir/curls
and alliteration in God's golden
vivid descriptive detail that is easy and appealing to visualize
I like the thriving, alive/diving passage
excellent sensory appeal
good internal rhyme of skim/whim and what a great scene of skimming the sand dollars over the water - I LOVED sand dollars as a kid
lovely alliteration in the sleepy soft sand sighing in the sun passage
happy clapping - another excellent phrase
also, singing in the spiral
This is absolutely upbeat and sounds beautiful :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2012
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lovely alliteration in bubbling blue
good assonance of long I sounds in glide/mile
good assonance in stir/curls
and alliteration in God's golden
vivid descriptive detail that is easy and appealing to visualize
I like the thriving, alive/diving passage
excellent sensory appeal
good internal rhyme of skim/whim and what a great scene of skimming the sand dollars over the water - I LOVED sand dollars as a kid
lovely alliteration in the sleepy soft sand sighing in the sun passage
happy clapping - another excellent phrase
also, singing in the spiral
This is absolutely upbeat and sounds beautiful :-) Brooke
Comment Written 03-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2012
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thx so much, Brooke! :) Sharyn
Comment from Bayberry
This is heart-lifting and lovely. Childhood is such a special time. I used to live on the beach when I was young so this free verse poetry has a special meaning for me. Best wishes.
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2012
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This is heart-lifting and lovely. Childhood is such a special time. I used to live on the beach when I was young so this free verse poetry has a special meaning for me. Best wishes.
Comment Written 03-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2012
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Bless you, S.E! :)Sharyn
Comment from artemis53
I think I know who this is but I won't tell. My favorite line? "flat sand dollars disguised as coined flowers." what a terrific analogy.
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2012
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I think I know who this is but I won't tell. My favorite line? "flat sand dollars disguised as coined flowers." what a terrific analogy.
Comment Written 03-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2012
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well hopefully you guessed right, Diane - and yeah! I won!! what fun! (already spent the $$ would you believe!)
Best wishes
Sharyn
Comment from rama devi
Wonderful entry for the contest. This is blind, I do not know who you are, but the voicing of this free verse reminds me of my friend Sharyn - so if this IS the same person - you have a distinct poetic voice! :)
Nice fluid flow and fine imagery in HAPPY (conversational) TONE as per contest requirements. Great to read aloud--dramatic sculpting of phrases with line breaks and varying line lengths.
A nice presentation.
Bravo and good luck.
Warmly, rd
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2012
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Wonderful entry for the contest. This is blind, I do not know who you are, but the voicing of this free verse reminds me of my friend Sharyn - so if this IS the same person - you have a distinct poetic voice! :)
Nice fluid flow and fine imagery in HAPPY (conversational) TONE as per contest requirements. Great to read aloud--dramatic sculpting of phrases with line breaks and varying line lengths.
A nice presentation.
Bravo and good luck.
Warmly, rd
Comment Written 03-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2012
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oh what good instincts you have - lovely to hear from you again, rd, and a huge 'thank you' for reviewing my work - and yes, I won! yeah! (but I've already spent my $$, oh bother) ...
Blessings,
Sharyn
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Knew it was you! Congrats! Blessings, rd
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figured you could tell my style by now! :)
Comment from mumsyone
Your poem is a nice tribute to the "little one" to whom you are speaking. Great artwork to complement it, and a good entry for the contest. Good luck in it.
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2012
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Your poem is a nice tribute to the "little one" to whom you are speaking. Great artwork to complement it, and a good entry for the contest. Good luck in it.
Comment Written 03-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2012
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thx so much, mumsy! :) Sharyn (ps: I won - so contest not blind any more)
Comment from honeytree
What a wonderful title for this poem.
What wonderful words written
This little girl is happy and having lots of fun.
Honey tree
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2012
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What a wonderful title for this poem.
What wonderful words written
This little girl is happy and having lots of fun.
Honey tree
Comment Written 03-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2012
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thx so much Nancy! :) Sharyn
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, mystery writer, (but it sounds like sharyn), i love the tenderness with which this is written, i enjoyed reading it. good luck in the contest
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2012
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this is very well written, mystery writer, (but it sounds like sharyn), i love the tenderness with which this is written, i enjoyed reading it. good luck in the contest
Comment Written 03-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2012
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good instincts, sweets! Not blind any more, and yes, it's me - I won! yeah! but unfortunately have already spent my dollars ... oh dear ... :) Sharyn
Comment from kashmayank
If one is able to dance with shadows freely then it is such a free spirit and feelin of freedom,A nice work and I enjoyed reading it
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2012
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If one is able to dance with shadows freely then it is such a free spirit and feelin of freedom,A nice work and I enjoyed reading it
Comment Written 03-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2012
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thank you so much for dancing at the beach with us, kashmayank!
Comment from Dawn Munro
The carefree joy of the child in this poem is so apparent - the warmth and tenderness of the parent seeps from every line. This is true happiness, as pure as it gets.
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2012
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The carefree joy of the child in this poem is so apparent - the warmth and tenderness of the parent seeps from every line. This is true happiness, as pure as it gets.
Comment Written 03-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2012
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bless you Dawn!!!
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My pleasure - a much deserved rating - a joyous poem.
Comment from c_lucas
Sand dollars can also bite. A child enjoying himself on the edge of the sea, paints an image of happiness and contentment. This is well written.
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2012
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Sand dollars can also bite. A child enjoying himself on the edge of the sea, paints an image of happiness and contentment. This is well written.
Comment Written 03-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2012
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thx Charlie!
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You're welcome.
