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All Those Puzzling Pieces

Viewing comments for Chapter 29 "Bleached Beaches"
What makes a life? How do the pieces fit?

74 total reviews 
Comment from Titanx9
Excellent
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It all starts out so sane and wonderful, doesn't it? You've captured in this poem, the apogee of a love relationship and the nadir of despair when the love's gone. An outstanding job, please accept my virtual six.

 Comment Written 30-Nov-2012


reply by the author on 30-Nov-2012
    Virtual's as good as the real thing, Titan, when it comes from you!
    Blessings,
    Sharyn
Comment from wanderlost
Excellent
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great poem, visionary. Excellent imagery and the feeling of loneliness you created is truly gripping. Good job!
Wanderlost

 Comment Written 30-Nov-2012


reply by the author on 30-Nov-2012
    thx so much wanderlost!
    :) Sharyn
Comment from Aussie
Excellent
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Good luck with your contest entry; lots of wonderful words to illustrate your story/poem. I thought you clever for using food to illustrate the good and the bad of loneliness. Most enjoyable (made me hungry!) Well done poet.

 Comment Written 30-Nov-2012


reply by the author on 30-Nov-2012
    thx so much Aussie! :) Sharyn
Comment from Nanette Mary
Excellent
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Hullo Visionary ....

This is a well-written entry for the "Lonely Poem"
Contest and in a relatively few lines, you have managed to trace this love story from that which was filled with zest and enthusiasm to something lifeless - and which is, in spite of a gold wedding band on the finger, now devoid of light or sunshine.
There is nothing to suggest changing and I wish you well in the Contest.
Love from .... Nanette Mary.

 Comment Written 30-Nov-2012


reply by the author on 30-Nov-2012
    thx so much Nanette Mary! :) Sharyn
Comment from Starlit Ink
Excellent
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I like the idea of bleached beaches not being the same when someone is gone. When you are lonely, nothing is as bright or radiant. The poem speaks of a need to find the sun again after the grief of a failed marriage. There is much emotion and imagery that shines through this dark poem.

 Comment Written 30-Nov-2012


reply by the author on 30-Nov-2012
    thx so much Starlit - good to stretch one's writing muscles into the dark as well as the light, yes? :) Sharyn
Comment from Littlegirl38732
Excellent
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Awesome!!! I hope you win on this one becayse that is outstanding, my friend!! But then again so is all of your other stuff! (: best of luck!

 Comment Written 30-Nov-2012


reply by the author on 30-Nov-2012
    Thank you so much Lg - didn't win this one, but was happy with the write! :) Sharyn
Comment from artemis53
Excellent
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Excellent piece, Sharyn. I was quite surprised by the bleak edging but, that's life isn't it? "folded, forgotten ... leaving nothing but bleak naked narrow band." You don't know how axxurate that is.

 Comment Written 30-Nov-2012


reply by the author on 30-Nov-2012
    it was for the "Lonely" prompt, Diane ... and yes, I do, actually! How are YOU?????
reply by artemis53 on 30-Nov-2012
    I'm okay, Sharyn...a little worse for wear but hanging on. I may be going back into Critical Care again. I feel that I have left something there unfinished.
Comment from Deborah Marie
Excellent
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I wish I had a "6" to give you but, I ran out of them. Stunning photo to go with a beautifully written poem that is full of lots of imagery with the added bonus of a lovely photo that make the imagery "pop" out even more. Clever descriptive wording adds to the flow, rhythm and imagery making your poem an excellent read. Nice job for the contest you entered. Good luck.

 Comment Written 30-Nov-2012


reply by the author on 30-Nov-2012
    Thx so much Deb - didn't win this one, but enjoyed crafting the write! :) Sharyn
Comment from NadineM
Excellent
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The colors you've chosen for this poem are very complimentary, and help to leave this image of sadness, emptiness and loneliness. You wrote about marital bliss and joy like no other in this loving relationship, only to have it turn sour and die. Well done!
Your 15 line poem is filled with alliterative phrases and vivid imagery.
Good luck in the contest.
Thanks for sharing this with me.

 Comment Written 30-Nov-2012


reply by the author on 30-Nov-2012
    Thank you so much Nadine - didn't win the contest, but an interesting write, as we can all remember "Lonely" in our lives, I'm sure! :) Sharyn
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Beautiful imagery for a sad and tragic topic. So verrry well written in every way, full of great metaphor and alliteration and a real heart tugger.

 Comment Written 30-Nov-2012


reply by the author on 30-Nov-2012
    wow! a '6' from you, Phyllis! Bless you, dear!
    :) Sharyn