All Those Puzzling Pieces
Viewing comments for Chapter 32 " One Pure Note"What makes a life? How do the pieces fit?
120 total reviews
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
Oh what a piece. From the depths of dispair and no hope to a feeling of life and hope and breathable life. Wow yu were right. But I still like the last one. It is a new side of you and I love it.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2013
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Oh what a piece. From the depths of dispair and no hope to a feeling of life and hope and breathable life. Wow yu were right. But I still like the last one. It is a new side of you and I love it.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2013
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lovely! so glad you found this one Barb! :)Sharyn
Comment from rama devi
Wow, how'd I miss this? Congratulations on winning the contest - it certainly qualifies as Uplifting Poetry! Wonderfully rich emotional overtones and nuanced imagery in this fine-flowing free verse, dear sis.
Superb to read aloud!!!!!
Especially applaud the phrasing in this portrait of despair-
sand-bleached bone lonely
I stay soul cold
alone, wind-blown
half a whole
no one knows me
or cares to hold me
on this dry grit beach so far from home
I could so easily become
a singing salt-water Ophelia
crazed and sinking to ocean's deep
to sleep forever
WOW! Eloquent and brilliant!
And the transformation into blip with this (below) is fantastic-
but then I hear on ocean's frigid air
someone singing joy
high and pure enough
to crack the classic chandelier,
like a finger running round the rim
of sparkling crystal glass
in sunlight, and as those notes float
Love the imagery and tone here. Super joyful! And great internal rhymes and alliteration, especially on C.
Alos love this phrasing and fine alliteration on M-
is not a myth,
it's music
in the mists
Superb use of spacing t sculpt dramatic pause, especially effective here:
and traveling
through the miracle
that's me
Love the internal rhyme here-
and where I saw before
a beach of empty skulls
screaming gulls and madness,
and here-
so deep and luscious pleasured
I can plunge my hands in, never measured,
Suggest a hyphen here- luscious pleasured
luscious-pleasured
nice closing CODA style diminuendo and note of hope...
of
one
pure
note
sung
in
exultation
Again, bravo on winning the contest. Love this!
Hugs, rd
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2012
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Wow, how'd I miss this? Congratulations on winning the contest - it certainly qualifies as Uplifting Poetry! Wonderfully rich emotional overtones and nuanced imagery in this fine-flowing free verse, dear sis.
Superb to read aloud!!!!!
Especially applaud the phrasing in this portrait of despair-
sand-bleached bone lonely
I stay soul cold
alone, wind-blown
half a whole
no one knows me
or cares to hold me
on this dry grit beach so far from home
I could so easily become
a singing salt-water Ophelia
crazed and sinking to ocean's deep
to sleep forever
WOW! Eloquent and brilliant!
And the transformation into blip with this (below) is fantastic-
but then I hear on ocean's frigid air
someone singing joy
high and pure enough
to crack the classic chandelier,
like a finger running round the rim
of sparkling crystal glass
in sunlight, and as those notes float
Love the imagery and tone here. Super joyful! And great internal rhymes and alliteration, especially on C.
Alos love this phrasing and fine alliteration on M-
is not a myth,
it's music
in the mists
Superb use of spacing t sculpt dramatic pause, especially effective here:
and traveling
through the miracle
that's me
Love the internal rhyme here-
and where I saw before
a beach of empty skulls
screaming gulls and madness,
and here-
so deep and luscious pleasured
I can plunge my hands in, never measured,
Suggest a hyphen here- luscious pleasured
luscious-pleasured
nice closing CODA style diminuendo and note of hope...
of
one
pure
note
sung
in
exultation
Again, bravo on winning the contest. Love this!
Hugs, rd
Comment Written 27-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2012
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aah, so glad you found it! It was a "blind" entry, so no notifications of course. And yeah! rd! finally squeezed a six out of you! thank you so much! What a lovely gift with my morning coffee! :) Sharyn
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:-))
Comment from linsbm
Congratulations to your winning the contest. This poem blown me away and cheered me up with your powerful and beautiful imagery presented here. You pulled me through all the way! Thanks so much for sharing.
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2012
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Congratulations to your winning the contest. This poem blown me away and cheered me up with your powerful and beautiful imagery presented here. You pulled me through all the way! Thanks so much for sharing.
Comment Written 27-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2012
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So glad you rode the down and rode the up again, my dear! And a special 'thank you' for your lovely six!
Blessings,
Sharyn
Comment from rhymelord
Dear Sharyn,
A worthy winner. I don't have to read the others to know that. This is Shakespearien in its power of mood creation and strength of is metaphors. And only a singer could envisage the closing.
Regards
Reg
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2012
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Dear Sharyn,
A worthy winner. I don't have to read the others to know that. This is Shakespearien in its power of mood creation and strength of is metaphors. And only a singer could envisage the closing.
Regards
Reg
Comment Written 27-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2012
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oh Reg, thank you so much my dear! And a special "mahalo" for your lovely "six"!
Best wishes
Sharyn
Comment from Gianinas
"Overflowing in all five senses.." I would like to feel, experience that, this Holly day Season. Your poem certainly inspired that. I will think of your words, during the month of December.
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2012
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"Overflowing in all five senses.." I would like to feel, experience that, this Holly day Season. Your poem certainly inspired that. I will think of your words, during the month of December.
Comment Written 27-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2012
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Thank you so much Gianina! :) Sharyn
Comment from Jewell McChesney
happiness
is not a myth,
it's music
in the mists
and I can find it
This is beautiful! I can see why it is a winner. I want to read it again and again. Very nicely done. no cliche...just pure thoughts, visionary words.
now I see a strand of warm
golds, high skies, treasured birds
of white grace, and blues
so deep and luscious pleasured
I can plunge my hands in, never measured,
and come out overflowing
in all five senses
feel again
heal again
Sigh! I love it!
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2012
|
happiness
is not a myth,
it's music
in the mists
and I can find it
This is beautiful! I can see why it is a winner. I want to read it again and again. Very nicely done. no cliche...just pure thoughts, visionary words.
now I see a strand of warm
golds, high skies, treasured birds
of white grace, and blues
so deep and luscious pleasured
I can plunge my hands in, never measured,
and come out overflowing
in all five senses
feel again
heal again
Sigh! I love it!
Comment Written 27-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2012
-
aaah, my namesake! Thx so much Vis777 - so glad you liked this one! :) Sharyn
Comment from Frank Atwood
Very good and quite uplifting in many ways. As long as man can become depressed, so are there many ways to lift ones spirit.
Whether it's a poem, story or a novel, whatever truth is found in all works, should not only uplift, but also encourage one to think thoughts outside the box many minds and hearts are bound in, as many work so hard to be recognized by a world that is in kayos.
Keep up the great writing and God bless.
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2012
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Very good and quite uplifting in many ways. As long as man can become depressed, so are there many ways to lift ones spirit.
Whether it's a poem, story or a novel, whatever truth is found in all works, should not only uplift, but also encourage one to think thoughts outside the box many minds and hearts are bound in, as many work so hard to be recognized by a world that is in kayos.
Keep up the great writing and God bless.
Comment Written 26-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2012
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Thank you so much Frank! :) Sharyn
Comment from ndadarose
I love you choice of words to describe loneliness. If a person is lonely deep down in their bones to the point that their soul is cold that's some kind of lonely and definitely a bad place to be...but to be brought back to life again...to healing and feeling by one glorious note was a wonderful contrast. Great poem!
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2012
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I love you choice of words to describe loneliness. If a person is lonely deep down in their bones to the point that their soul is cold that's some kind of lonely and definitely a bad place to be...but to be brought back to life again...to healing and feeling by one glorious note was a wonderful contrast. Great poem!
Comment Written 26-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2012
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thank you so much nd!! :) Sharyn
Comment from squid152
I love happiness is not a myth, it's music in the myths and I can find it. Great free verse, well deserving as a contest winner.-Gary
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2012
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I love happiness is not a myth, it's music in the myths and I can find it. Great free verse, well deserving as a contest winner.-Gary
Comment Written 26-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2012
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thx so much Gary! :) Sharyn
Comment from MelReyn
I can see why this won the contest! It is wonderful, I happened to be listening to a soundtrack (instrumental) that went very well. I wish I could say it was Chopin or Bach but it was 'Tears in my Beers' (Jay Gruska). LOL
I love the beach and I loved the idea of finding peace and beauty and meaning to life there. AWESOME!
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2012
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I can see why this won the contest! It is wonderful, I happened to be listening to a soundtrack (instrumental) that went very well. I wish I could say it was Chopin or Bach but it was 'Tears in my Beers' (Jay Gruska). LOL
I love the beach and I loved the idea of finding peace and beauty and meaning to life there. AWESOME!
Comment Written 26-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2012
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"Tears in my Beers", hmm? What's not to love about THAT Mel!! :) Sharyn
