haiku (by the falls)
wintry decoration19 total reviews
Comment from Capricorn30
Quartz from the earth is a wonderful creation;
"quartz-like crystals" are a beauty from the skies, as winter produces its own snowy crystalized formations;
You indeed produced a good miniscule poem, mystery writer!
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Quartz from the earth is a wonderful creation;
"quartz-like crystals" are a beauty from the skies, as winter produces its own snowy crystalized formations;
You indeed produced a good miniscule poem, mystery writer!
Comment Written 14-Nov-2012
Comment from Father Flaps
Hi Mystery Author,
I like your idea of this haiku, how frozen flows of water become formations that look like giant blooms of ice. I've seen these blooming crystals over on the Kingston Penninsula near the Gondola Point ferry. The water comes splashing down of a steep cliff right at the edge of the road there on the way to Moss Glen. You never know what they'll look like each winter.
I like the heavy "k" sound in "quartz-like crystals", and the conclusion that "winter splash", time freezes.
Good Luck in the contest!
Kimbob
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Hi Mystery Author,
I like your idea of this haiku, how frozen flows of water become formations that look like giant blooms of ice. I've seen these blooming crystals over on the Kingston Penninsula near the Gondola Point ferry. The water comes splashing down of a steep cliff right at the edge of the road there on the way to Moss Glen. You never know what they'll look like each winter.
I like the heavy "k" sound in "quartz-like crystals", and the conclusion that "winter splash", time freezes.
Good Luck in the contest!
Kimbob
Comment Written 14-Nov-2012
Comment from DBastian
Great scene! And you described it so well with your poem. I love the "Winter Splash" description - I will think of those words whenever I see a scene like this, now. Very nice haiku!
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Great scene! And you described it so well with your poem. I love the "Winter Splash" description - I will think of those words whenever I see a scene like this, now. Very nice haiku!
Comment Written 14-Nov-2012
Comment from fairy77
Very nice.I love haikus.The picture stayed in my mind and felt cold looking at it.The word quartz and splash stood out the most.beth fairy77.
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Very nice.I love haikus.The picture stayed in my mind and felt cold looking at it.The word quartz and splash stood out the most.beth fairy77.
Comment Written 13-Nov-2012
Comment from Selina Stambi
You did do a great job - it does huge justice to the gorgeous picture. I've never dared to try this form of minute cameo form of poetry. Lovely!
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You did do a great job - it does huge justice to the gorgeous picture. I've never dared to try this form of minute cameo form of poetry. Lovely!
Comment Written 13-Nov-2012
Comment from Deborah Marie
Wow - what a neat picture to tie into your poem. This produces even greater imaginary in such a short poem. I enjoyed reading it as the flow of the haiku poem was there. You have definitely captured natures beauty, indeed.
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Wow - what a neat picture to tie into your poem. This produces even greater imaginary in such a short poem. I enjoyed reading it as the flow of the haiku poem was there. You have definitely captured natures beauty, indeed.
Comment Written 13-Nov-2012
Comment from Gungalo
by the falls
quartz-like crystals bloom
winter splash
It is absolutely wonderful and really a beautiful shot of the water which has frozen at the falls. Your haiku is brilliant and it fits wondefully.
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by the falls
quartz-like crystals bloom
winter splash
It is absolutely wonderful and really a beautiful shot of the water which has frozen at the falls. Your haiku is brilliant and it fits wondefully.
Comment Written 13-Nov-2012
Comment from Val Crisson
this is a very good entry for this 3-5-3 contest. the reason for the four star rating is the last line, which can easily be fixed. In haiku you can not personify winter, so if you change the last line to "winter splash" no capitals and no personification it will work as a haiku. please let me know, if you do as I will change my rating. This could be a great entry with that little change.
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reply by the author on 13-Nov-2012
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this is a very good entry for this 3-5-3 contest. the reason for the four star rating is the last line, which can easily be fixed. In haiku you can not personify winter, so if you change the last line to "winter splash" no capitals and no personification it will work as a haiku. please let me know, if you do as I will change my rating. This could be a great entry with that little change.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 13-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2012
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You're right and I'm embarrassed to say I overlooked that. I have changed the last line to
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Darn it! Don't know what key I hit, but it sent my reply before I was finished. I was trying to say I changed the last line to "winter splash". Thank you for pointing out my error. I appreciate it and your willingness to come back and re- review.
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I changed it to five stars - good luck in the contest
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Thank you So much for the new rating and wishes for the contest! Much appreciated!
Comment from lustrousmetal
Very good, really. It's the "splash" that gets me. "splash" is such an onomatpoeic word that involves a sound of water and we're dealing with ice here. How about the word "gems"?
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2012
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Very good, really. It's the "splash" that gets me. "splash" is such an onomatpoeic word that involves a sound of water and we're dealing with ice here. How about the word "gems"?
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 13-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2012
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Actually we are dealing with water. The falls are not completely frozen and the splashes it creates, create the quartz like crystals on the side. Does this make better sense to you?
