All Those Puzzling Pieces
Viewing comments for Chapter 27 "Pineapple Paradise?"What makes a life? How do the pieces fit?
75 total reviews
Comment from nomi338
I am so glad that I read your Author Notes section, because you had me so twisted and confused that I was not sure just what you were talking about. The poem is awesomely good. Very lyrical, not so literal. You spoke of tastes, colors, race, love, hatred? I was confused and intrigued, You created a very fine poem here. Unfortunately I do not have anymore sixes that I can use right now, but please know that if I could I surely would award you with six stars.
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2012
  |
I am so glad that I read your Author Notes section, because you had me so twisted and confused that I was not sure just what you were talking about. The poem is awesomely good. Very lyrical, not so literal. You spoke of tastes, colors, race, love, hatred? I was confused and intrigued, You created a very fine poem here. Unfortunately I do not have anymore sixes that I can use right now, but please know that if I could I surely would award you with six stars.
Comment Written 12-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2012
-
yep - a confusing prompt, to be sure Nomi - you and me both dear! But sort of interesting to follow one's brain through the process I think :) Sharyn
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello visionary1234
hmm so you are using a pineapple as a metaphor saying that Hawaiian is not really such a Paradise
I must say you have an unique way of expressing your self with words.
Gert
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2012
|
Hello visionary1234
hmm so you are using a pineapple as a metaphor saying that Hawaiian is not really such a Paradise
I must say you have an unique way of expressing your self with words.
Gert
Comment Written 12-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2012
-
Thanks Gert - this was a very strange prompt, that's for sure ... interesting to see how our brain wanders though ... :) Sharyn
-
You are welcome Sharyn
Gert
Comment from Perp Ihebom
This is a beautiful piece of abstract poetry, using the pineapple as a central metaphor. Even though the diction is complex, i think it 's all about oneness of all man. Nice artistry.kudos
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2012
|
This is a beautiful piece of abstract poetry, using the pineapple as a central metaphor. Even though the diction is complex, i think it 's all about oneness of all man. Nice artistry.kudos
Comment Written 12-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2012
-
You've got it right Perp - thank you so much for your detailed reading! Best wishes, Sharyn
Comment from N.K. Wagner
And you missed explaining one of your own, Sharyn - the pineapple is a symbol of hospitality. Yet your white skin is resented by the native Hawaiians. An outstanding job. :) nancy
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2012
 |
And you missed explaining one of your own, Sharyn - the pineapple is a symbol of hospitality. Yet your white skin is resented by the native Hawaiians. An outstanding job. :) nancy
Comment Written 12-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2012
-
yes it is Nancy - but if I explained EVERY connection my poor brain made on this one the author notes would end up longer than my poem!!! Bless you for your magic '6' my dear! And my white skin is resented by the native Hawaiians plus every other "non white" race in Hawaii (plenty!) only if they want to be angry, which some of them do of course ... it rears its ugly head up occasionally as a reminder ... Many many thanks :) Sharyn
-
I understand some of the resentment is nationalism rather than racism. And then some of it is idiocy (Japanese xenophobia, for example). Most on the mainland are unaware of these frictions in "Paradise".
-
yes, Uncle Sam doesn't like to admit any of it - but they took over Hawaii illegally (that has been acknowledged even in the United Nations) and proceeded to decimate the Hawaiian culture. Anger is understandable. However as other "non white" cultures have come into the islands, it's become a "white" v. "non white" culture on some levels, but particularly with the poorer socio-economic groups who are seeking someone to blame for their problems. It rarely touches me, but I was at the beach the other day where I saw this large "local" guy try to attack a mixed couple - had to call 911. Fortunately 3 large young guys jumped on him and restrained him till the police arrived, but it served as a reminder of the "underbelly" of Paradise, that's for sure!
-
Of course we did. A human failing to use long-past wrongs as an excuse for present bad behavior. My national heritage is so mixed it's a wonder I can stand myself. Hey! Sounds like a senryu in the making! :D Nancy
Comment from Isaac Kavik
Nicely done I love the shape and the repition of
"white light
black night
what price
Paradise?"
Worked well as you placed them.
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2012
|
Nicely done I love the shape and the repition of
"white light
black night
what price
Paradise?"
Worked well as you placed them.
Comment Written 12-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2012
-
thx Isaac - glad you enjoyed it! :) Sharyn
Comment from Crystal Vail
Loved it! Great job with a difficult topic. So many images and ideas all wrapped in a pineapple. lol. Really enjoyed it! :)
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2012
|
Loved it! Great job with a difficult topic. So many images and ideas all wrapped in a pineapple. lol. Really enjoyed it! :)
Comment Written 12-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2012
-
Thx Crystal - glad you found it! :) Sharyn
Comment from Robert Lee Brown
Wow!!! Another winner. Your Author's Note is a great addition to this beautiful tirade of abstractions. You had me hooked from the very beginning. I love your pineapples and whales and paradise for whom? Always the cleanup that someone has to do. You made the tricky trip and it finally let you to God as my "Seek and Find" adventure did. Good. Great and well worth a SIX STAR marker. Bob
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2012
|
Wow!!! Another winner. Your Author's Note is a great addition to this beautiful tirade of abstractions. You had me hooked from the very beginning. I love your pineapples and whales and paradise for whom? Always the cleanup that someone has to do. You made the tricky trip and it finally let you to God as my "Seek and Find" adventure did. Good. Great and well worth a SIX STAR marker. Bob
Comment Written 12-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2012
-
oh GOOD!! Thank you so much Bob - so glad you enjoyed this somewhat challenging but extremely interesting prompt - and what grew out of my pineapple!
Best wishes & "mahalo", Sharyn
ps: did you get your script centering problem handled?
-
I got it fixed. Thanks to you. You know, in my book, you are a genius. Many thanks. Bob
Comment from TKField
This was different. I thought at first you were just rubbing it in that you live in Hawaii, but it seems there's trouble in paradise. Damn US Navy, always screwing with whales. Don't know what top do about that, but they should stop it I guess. As far as the drugged out people, where ever humans go you're going to get a lot of knuckleheads, even in Hawaii.
This free verse had an interesting structure, but you make your point well. Nice metaphor and symbolism with the pineapple.
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2012
|
This was different. I thought at first you were just rubbing it in that you live in Hawaii, but it seems there's trouble in paradise. Damn US Navy, always screwing with whales. Don't know what top do about that, but they should stop it I guess. As far as the drugged out people, where ever humans go you're going to get a lot of knuckleheads, even in Hawaii.
This free verse had an interesting structure, but you make your point well. Nice metaphor and symbolism with the pineapple.
Comment Written 12-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2012
-
Thx so much TK! :) Sharyn
Comment from Louise Michelle
Wow - you certainly met this writing challenge. I'm glad for your author's notes. Otherwise I would have thought you were smoking those 'exotic' cigarettes when you wrote this piece, lol. My favorite lines were: shame we bring ...and sour every Eden's fruit. That is so original, Sharyn, and very powerful. Nice work. Hugs, Lou
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2012
|
Wow - you certainly met this writing challenge. I'm glad for your author's notes. Otherwise I would have thought you were smoking those 'exotic' cigarettes when you wrote this piece, lol. My favorite lines were: shame we bring ...and sour every Eden's fruit. That is so original, Sharyn, and very powerful. Nice work. Hugs, Lou
Comment Written 12-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2012
-
Thank you so much Lou - yes, it was certainly rather an interesting prompt, but I got into it after a while. Glad you enjoyed it! :) Sharyn
Comment from Littlegirl38732
Very cute! I love it just as much as I love all of your work and.I am CRAZY about pineapple!! :) thank you so much for sharing. I enjoyed reading it.
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2012
|
Very cute! I love it just as much as I love all of your work and.I am CRAZY about pineapple!! :) thank you so much for sharing. I enjoyed reading it.
Comment Written 12-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2012
-
And I'm still crazy about pineapple too LG - thank you! :) Sharyn
