Reviews from

Aiden's Birthday Surprise

A magical Disney treat

41 total reviews 
Comment from mtrybak
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

John,
After I read your review, I felt it necessary to find out more about this gentle, kind man who was so distraught over my horror story and I click on the last poem you wrote and it was about one of my most favorite things of all, Disney. That was the BEST poem I have read in a few days. This is not a I'm giving you 6 stars because you gave me 6 stars type of thing. You packed so many characters into that poem and the rhyming pattern was perfect. How do you know about so many Disney characters and their stories? My parent's took me to Disney World for the first time when I was 2 1/2 years old. I immediately picked up a Mickey Mouse and still had it until I left the house. This poem made me happy, as if Tinker Bell herself sprinkled me with pixie dust. Thank you so much for giving me a feeling of pure, unadulterated joy. Michele

 Comment Written 17-Nov-2012


reply by the author on 17-Nov-2012
    Michele... I am sooooo glad my poem made you happy and brought a smile upon your face!!! That made me happy, honestly!! The photo with the poem is my granddaughter. She puts a smile on my face. Besides, my poem incorporates Disney. We all remain kids when it comes to Disney. I have three kids (30,27,25) so I've been around Disney a long time. Google helped refresh my memorie, but just a little. Michele, I'm glad to have met you here and hope we can remain in contact thru FS. John
reply by mtrybak on 17-Nov-2012
    I just responded to your review. I read it this morning and felt just awful. I was at, of all things, my daughter's Marching Band Yard Sale Fund Raiser. It was cold down here in Myrtle Beach and I was actually in my car with the heat on when I read your review on my iphone and decided not to reply until I had the right words. I came home and got on the computer and went straight to your profile and when I read the Disney poem and saw that you are a die hard Yankee fan I knew I had found a new friend! We absolutely will be remaining friends because I just became a fan of yours because I don't want to miss a single word you write or the opportunity to tell you how blessed I am to have met you. Because that's how I feel to have met you. Blessed, pure and simple.
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2012
    Simply put, you are to sweet!
Comment from adewpearl
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

good use of abcb rhyme
I like the way you work specific character into the flow and rhyme of your poem
nice alliteration in big blue gentle genie
Bambi-colored invitations - add the hyphen
not that it much matters, but not all the cartoon characters you include are Disney characters
good proximate rhyme of good byes and high fives
what a delightful party this would be :-) Brooke

 Comment Written 17-Nov-2012


reply by the author on 17-Nov-2012
    Quite the expensive party as well. Just want to clarify, the Disney charecters are the lead on the story until the part where they begin dancing off the bus. That's when the Looney Tunes and the rest of the world enter. Do you think it needs better clarification?
reply by adewpearl on 17-Nov-2012
    I'm just a fuss budget - I bet hardly anyone else even notices LOL
Comment from Florrie
Excellent
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Wonderful cast of Disney characters enveloped in a delightful rhyming poem with a beautiful 'Pumpkin' reason. This flows off the tongue and I really like it. I must read this to the toddlers in my family.
florrie

 Comment Written 09-Nov-2012


reply by the author on 10-Nov-2012
    Thank you Florie for reading and expressing such kind words in your commentary. John
reply by Florrie on 11-Nov-2012
    You are welcome. A new great-granddaughter was born this past week and I am sure she will love Disney characters, too. florrie
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2012
    You have a new great-granddaughter? Congratulations!
    John
Comment from l.raven
Excellent
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What a wonderful wonderful dream this is. I took my grandkids to Florida this year and we went to Disney. They loved it. I think you covered pretty much every character at Disney in here. This is a great poem. I really enjoyed reading it. Very well written.

 Comment Written 09-Nov-2012


reply by the author on 10-Nov-2012
    Thank you l. for reading and sharing. That's what writing is about.
    John
Comment from EMB
Excellent
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Well, this certainly seemed like a realistic recollection of a wonderful birthday party, complete with many of Disney's colorful characters. A water park can't really compare to this story. Great job on the narrative element, and I loved the rhyme scheme.

Nicely done. :)

 Comment Written 09-Nov-2012


reply by the author on 10-Nov-2012
    Edward, thank you for taking the time to read and for your positive comments.
    John
Comment from poetrypeg
Excellent
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Fantastic poem. I truly enjoyed reading this. The way you put all the characters in was very well done. I hope Aiden had a very happy birthday!

 Comment Written 09-Nov-2012


reply by the author on 10-Nov-2012
    Thank you Peg. Unfortunately Aiden won't remember anything. She was only one. Thanks for your time to read and comment. John
Comment from fictionwriter
Excellent
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How fun would that party be. I'd love to have Dineyland all to myself and my family for a day. I bet that would cost a fortune. I loved this. Well done.

 Comment Written 09-Nov-2012


reply by the author on 09-Nov-2012
    Thank you fictionwriter, for your time in both reading and commenting. That would be one helluva day huh!! Thanks again, John
Comment from sunshine66
Excellent
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we have a right to dream and dream big their is nothing wrong with that. I really liked the way you used characters and told what they were doing. it was very enjoyable to read and easy to understand.

 Comment Written 09-Nov-2012


reply by the author on 09-Nov-2012
    Thank you sunshine for reading my poem and of course your commentary. It's greatly appreciated. John
reply by sunshine66 on 09-Nov-2012
    it is always good to read good poems and stories.
Comment from McMurry903
Excellent
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This is well done and a beautiful tribute to your granddaughter! I enjoyed your addition of so many familiar characters.I wish you the best of luck in this contest Great job! Brian :)

 Comment Written 09-Nov-2012


reply by the author on 09-Nov-2012
    Thank you Brian for taking the time to read this poem and review it. I appreciate your time and talent. Thank you John
Comment from ELumpkins
Excellent
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What a beautiful tribute to your lovely granddaughter, and she is lovely. I think you must have spent many, many hours checking this work to see if you left any of that wonderful Disney gang out of the party. I bet Aiden had as much fun at your water park as she would have had at Disney land. This poem will serve to keep the Disney water park in mind for later when she is a bit older and can go there and really enjoy a lot of things you write about here. Great post.

 Comment Written 08-Nov-2012


reply by the author on 09-Nov-2012
    Thank you E. I appreciate you reading my poem and taking the time to write such wonderful words. Yes, she is lovely but I guess I'm bias. That's what grandfathers do, right!?!? One day I hope to bring her there myself like I did her father, aunt and uncle. John
reply by ELumpkins on 09-Nov-2012
    You are quite welcome, I think the post was wonderful, and I want to thank you sincerly for the nomination for the review contest. I really thank you for your thoughts. I don't expect to win but one can't win without being nominated, and for that I thank you again.