Goldilocks and the Three Bears
The acrostic version43 total reviews
Comment from janalma
This is funny and well done. Your words are articulate and flow in a natural way. I've been reading some which are highly rated and, frankly, I'm appalled. And I'm not even a good judge of poetry, being unable to critique properly, and not knowledgeable about form.
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2012
  |
This is funny and well done. Your words are articulate and flow in a natural way. I've been reading some which are highly rated and, frankly, I'm appalled. And I'm not even a good judge of poetry, being unable to critique properly, and not knowledgeable about form.
Comment Written 22-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2012
-
Thank you - glad you enjoyed.
Steve
Comment from terry drake
Well you are so right to end her spree before she took on a real crime. I loved your acrostic and particularly your devotion to rhyme. Great story line with a moral that if you sit with bears for dinner plan on being one of the specialties of the day.
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2012
|
Well you are so right to end her spree before she took on a real crime. I loved your acrostic and particularly your devotion to rhyme. Great story line with a moral that if you sit with bears for dinner plan on being one of the specialties of the day.
Comment Written 22-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2012
-
Thank you - glad you enjoyed.
Steve
Comment from rosehill (Wendy)
Too funny, too perfect for words--so I'd stop here if the reviewing editor would let me. It said my review would not be helpful if I didn't expand it. I decided to try and figure out how I could I help this? So Blah, Blah, Blah and Yadda, Yadda, Yadda. And a six it is!
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2012
 |
Too funny, too perfect for words--so I'd stop here if the reviewing editor would let me. It said my review would not be helpful if I didn't expand it. I decided to try and figure out how I could I help this? So Blah, Blah, Blah and Yadda, Yadda, Yadda. And a six it is!
Comment Written 22-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2012
-
Thank you, Wendy - the blah, blah, yada, yada was extremely helpful. :o)
Thanks for all the stars.
Steve
Comment from thecoe
bravo! very well done. it flows well and the words play well together. a great take on a classic. i enjoyed it very much.
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2012
|
bravo! very well done. it flows well and the words play well together. a great take on a classic. i enjoyed it very much.
Comment Written 22-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2012
-
Thank you - glad you enjoyed.
Steve
Comment from juliedickson55
Very amusing and clever re-tell of the 3 bears story, in poetic format, using ABC form.
Especially good:
"Even fairy-story Bruins
Become quite cross if someone ruins
Everything they planned to eat
And Baby's darling little seat."
It feels like a kid's story [except for the crap]
and you could probably make this longer, with all the tasting, sitting and sleeping...
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2012
|
Very amusing and clever re-tell of the 3 bears story, in poetic format, using ABC form.
Especially good:
"Even fairy-story Bruins
Become quite cross if someone ruins
Everything they planned to eat
And Baby's darling little seat."
It feels like a kid's story [except for the crap]
and you could probably make this longer, with all the tasting, sitting and sleeping...
Comment Written 22-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2012
-
Thanks, Julie - yes, I could easily have made it longer except for the restriction of the acrostic - I need a fairy story with a really long title!
Steve
Comment from Mrs Happy Poet
This is very well written reads smoothly through the poem a creative acrostic poem that is very well presented I enjoyed good luck regards Jill
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2012
|
This is very well written reads smoothly through the poem a creative acrostic poem that is very well presented I enjoyed good luck regards Jill
Comment Written 22-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2012
-
Thank you, Jill - glad you enjoyed.
Steve
Comment from Hollyhock
I absolutely loved this one.
Very clever use of the Acrostic form, not easy to tell the story so fluently.
Excellent rhyme and consistent rhythm pattern throughout.
Certainly a different take on an old story-line but a very entertaining one.The stanza beginning "Thought she'd like a little nap......" is a gem. I've often thought how stupid she was to hang around! The last rhyming couplet finishes the poem in no uncertain terms. Excellent, good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2012
|
I absolutely loved this one.
Very clever use of the Acrostic form, not easy to tell the story so fluently.
Excellent rhyme and consistent rhythm pattern throughout.
Certainly a different take on an old story-line but a very entertaining one.The stanza beginning "Thought she'd like a little nap......" is a gem. I've often thought how stupid she was to hang around! The last rhyming couplet finishes the poem in no uncertain terms. Excellent, good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 22-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2012
-
Thank you, HH for the great review and all the stars.
Yes, another winner...
Steve
Comment from Stormspirit
Finally the greedy, chair breaking home invader gets what she deserved! Well written and funny take on the classic. Couldn't find anything to complain about. Well done.
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2012
|
Finally the greedy, chair breaking home invader gets what she deserved! Well written and funny take on the classic. Couldn't find anything to complain about. Well done.
Comment Written 22-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2012
-
Thank you - glad you enjoyed.
Steve
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, mystery writer, you did an excellent job writing this poetic tale of goldilocks in the acrostic format, i love the last two lines. i wish you the best of luck in the contest
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2012
|
this is very well written, mystery writer, you did an excellent job writing this poetic tale of goldilocks in the acrostic format, i love the last two lines. i wish you the best of luck in the contest
Comment Written 22-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2012
-
Thank you for the great review and the six stars - glad you enjoyed.
Steve
Comment from Leigh Fischer
A great take on a classic story. Great use of the acrostic, it's seamless. I feel like the poem flows naturally and stands well on its own. Sometimes these things seem like they are completely built around the first letter and doesn't flow or tell a strong story.
Usually I say "meh good for having to work within the box." But yours does not seem to care about the box.
The only line that didn't really work for me was "Destroyed it just like that. Oh Crap!"
Thank you for sharing. Nice job. Good luck. Happy writing.
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2012
|
A great take on a classic story. Great use of the acrostic, it's seamless. I feel like the poem flows naturally and stands well on its own. Sometimes these things seem like they are completely built around the first letter and doesn't flow or tell a strong story.
Usually I say "meh good for having to work within the box." But yours does not seem to care about the box.
The only line that didn't really work for me was "Destroyed it just like that. Oh Crap!"
Thank you for sharing. Nice job. Good luck. Happy writing.
Comment Written 22-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2012
-
Thanks, Leigh - I agree, many acrostics sound forced or unnatural so I try to avoid that at all costs. Glad you enjoyed this and it did win the contest.
Steve
