Reviews from

All Those Puzzling Pieces

Viewing comments for Chapter 71 "Twenty-five Years"
What makes a life? How do the pieces fit?

89 total reviews 
Comment from ELumpkins
Good
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There is a Wal-Mart card for happiness. If this post is a picture of their marriage, I feel sorry for them. My wife and I have been married over sixty years and still enjoy that certain look one gets when in love. If this marriage is still intact after twenty-five years, there is hope. I wish them the best.

 Comment Written 22-Sep-2012


reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012
    Thx!
    Kindly re-read the review guidelines:
    The site offers a six star scale for ranking work. Here's a guideline:
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    Four Stars (Good: Adjustments needed)
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Comment from lewische
Excellent
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Oh,this made me feel so sad - proving that your poem has hit the mark. Such disillusion, set in juxtaposition to the Wal-Mart card with its tawdry display. I think that, sadly, this is the truth of so many 'enduring' relationships. A strong, emotive and honest poem, the sense of which lingered on after reading. Very well done and good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 22-Sep-2012


reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012
    thank you so much lewis - so nice to get a real review, rather than peoples' "opinions" of marriage! bless you! :)
reply by lewische on 22-Sep-2012
    You are very welcome! Best regards, Cherri.
Comment from MumEsGirl
Excellent
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You have certainly hit the nail on the head with this work. It is well written and captures the readers attention from the start.

there is nothing more lonely than living with somebody and being so distant
hugs
kate

 Comment Written 22-Sep-2012


reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012
    yep - you have that right kate!
Comment from cheyennewy
Excellent
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Hi Poet,

You have described so many married couples. The longer some live together the more complacent they become. I like the words you chose to express yourself and using Wal-mart is genius. Well done and good luck in the contest....blessings, chey

 Comment Written 22-Sep-2012


reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012
    thx chey!
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Excellent
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This is verrry well done. It's honest and believable and might actually be what many marriages are like. I wouldn't know, but this is convincing.... That's good writing. :)

 Comment Written 22-Sep-2012


reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012
    Then I've been successful Phyllis! Never been married? wise lady!!! :)
reply by Phyllis Stewart on 22-Sep-2012
    Oh, I've been married all right... for 35 years to the same wonderful guy! :)
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012
    good for you Phyllis! 26 for me! :)
Comment from Ekim777
Excellent
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Love like life surely is not infinite, at least the human kind. John Donne compares 'true' love to two parallel lines meeting only at infinity but he was as metaphysical poet. And his life couldn't have been that passionate or exciting. Of course they say we should all mature to a stage of caring and sharing; why not. It's we two against the world, is that a contradiction? Whatever the case, relationships should not be passionately static but moving, transforming and naturally changing. Some people mature slowly but mature good. If we can laugh together that is a good sign.
Best wishes. -Ekim777

 Comment Written 22-Sep-2012


reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012
    I totally agree my dear! :)
Comment from Craigitar
Excellent
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Very well written! How many of us old married couples can identify with this poetic exposure? I love the last line! Good job and luck with the contest.

 Comment Written 22-Sep-2012


reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012
    thank you so much!
Comment from TammyGail
Excellent
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I like the back and fourth in this verse
it adds to the fill... well written and heartfelt
excellent use of imagery and color scheme
Best of luck in the contest

 Comment Written 22-Sep-2012


reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012
    thx Tammy!
Comment from Mrs Happy Poet
Excellent
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Yes you have done very well with this approach to the contest you can be lonely even in a marriage at times this is well written good luck in the contest regards Jill

 Comment Written 22-Sep-2012


reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012
    thx Jill!
Comment from Katherine2
Excellent
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I think loneliness inside a marriage is one of the most difficult types of loneliness. "Well...we are together, yes...but we walk parallel lives, eyes straight ahead" Oh, this is so sad, but so very often happens. I believe you have captured a true sense of loneliness in this poem. It's a winner.~ Katherine

 Comment Written 22-Sep-2012


reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012
    Thank you so much Katherine - I always appreciate it when someone takes the time to read and reflect on what is read. :)