All Those Puzzling Pieces
Viewing comments for Chapter 12 "Colors of Life"What makes a life? How do the pieces fit?
85 total reviews
Comment from Carole Rosa
Sharyn, It's not only confusing to a seven year old, but even confusing to a little old lady like me. We really don't know what color his hair is. Oops, pardon me, "His" hair! Loved it. Very sweet. Carole
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012
  |
Sharyn, It's not only confusing to a seven year old, but even confusing to a little old lady like me. We really don't know what color his hair is. Oops, pardon me, "His" hair! Loved it. Very sweet. Carole
Comment Written 22-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012
-
Thx so much Carole! Best wishes, Sharyn
Comment from Spitfire
This would be a great monologue. Although the actor would have to say captial "h" which could be awkward. Anyway, it's a well-deserved win, Vis. Patience pays off. Favorite parts:
oops - His heart doing
way up in the air like that, out of his body?
and why does He (see, I got it right this time!) -
why does He have a round flying saucer on His head that's all glowy?
and
scribble and scribble round and round 'cos
I bet Jesus likes circles a LOT.
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012
|
This would be a great monologue. Although the actor would have to say captial "h" which could be awkward. Anyway, it's a well-deserved win, Vis. Patience pays off. Favorite parts:
oops - His heart doing
way up in the air like that, out of his body?
and why does He (see, I got it right this time!) -
why does He have a round flying saucer on His head that's all glowy?
and
scribble and scribble round and round 'cos
I bet Jesus likes circles a LOT.
Comment Written 22-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012
-
all my stuff is meant to be performed spits - preferably by me - and an "H" is no challenge at all (little girl writes it in the air at the same time, silly billy) - I do a good "cute" dear. :) Sharyn
Comment from Meta~Mark
CONGRATS ON THIS WIN! This was well deserved and you always add a touch of spice unlike many other poets on here whose work has gone flatter than...never mind :)
WELL DONE1
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012
|
CONGRATS ON THIS WIN! This was well deserved and you always add a touch of spice unlike many other poets on here whose work has gone flatter than...never mind :)
WELL DONE1
Comment Written 22-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012
-
thx so much MM - you've been awfully quiet lately ...??? :)) Sharyn
Comment from Katherine2
I give you this six star because you made me smile a smile I have not had in a long time. I used to go to Sunday school when I was seven and TRY to color in those other people's lines. I felt so close to this poem almost like stepping back in time. I so wanted it to go on and on. Thank you as always for your wonderful work!~Katherine
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2012
 |
I give you this six star because you made me smile a smile I have not had in a long time. I used to go to Sunday school when I was seven and TRY to color in those other people's lines. I felt so close to this poem almost like stepping back in time. I so wanted it to go on and on. Thank you as always for your wonderful work!~Katherine
Comment Written 21-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2012
-
Oh Katherine, you have well and truly made my day my dear! I'm so glad you hated those damned things too! Bless you for reading and enjoying this piece! It brought back memories to me too! :)
Comment from Khione Lock
This was amusing. I like how you use an independent child's voice, for they always speak what is on their mind and are good at voicing their thoughts. Kids make wonderful antagonists.
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2012
 |
This was amusing. I like how you use an independent child's voice, for they always speak what is on their mind and are good at voicing their thoughts. Kids make wonderful antagonists.
Comment Written 21-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2012
-
Thanks Khione - but may I ask, if you're only going to award a '4', what improvement you believe to be necessary? (Please do read the rating guidelines). thank you - I'm always happy to listen to suggestions, but if you have none, then please do consider re-rating if you would. Thanks! Sharyn
Comment from gazzagodbod
ooo i love colouring in lol but yes has to be to your own lines love your picture love your poem thank you my friend xxxgazzagodbodxxx
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2012
|
ooo i love colouring in lol but yes has to be to your own lines love your picture love your poem thank you my friend xxxgazzagodbodxxx
Comment Written 21-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2012
-
thx gazza!
Comment from poetbear
I am reviewing based upn your writing because other than coloring outside of the lines, I can't relate to it.
Written well and makes sense but hard to understand when Snata Claus was never part of your life.
He is a feeling to me not a person or a spirit.
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2012
|
I am reviewing based upn your writing because other than coloring outside of the lines, I can't relate to it.
Written well and makes sense but hard to understand when Snata Claus was never part of your life.
He is a feeling to me not a person or a spirit.
Comment Written 21-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2012
-
but surely you must know the STORIES of Santa Claus, poetbear, and seen Christmas cards???? And the piece is far more about religious teachers and their sometimes-narrow mindsets. So it would seem that you may have missed the purpose of the whole piece?????
-
Np, I got it.
It just didn't apply to me.
Seen them but have no effect on me.
Jewish children even ones that are not raised orthodox have little to do with Santa.
Comment from Curtis Hatch
This is a charming poem about the colors of life from the perspective of a seven-year-old. The words are thought provoking an inspirational at the same time. A most important lesson is that He and Him always starts with a capital H. Curtis
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2012
|
This is a charming poem about the colors of life from the perspective of a seven-year-old. The words are thought provoking an inspirational at the same time. A most important lesson is that He and Him always starts with a capital H. Curtis
Comment Written 21-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2012
-
thx Curtis!
Comment from hari anand
Congratulations for you won this one as it was meant to be, not good at colouring inside other peoples lines, liked your thoughts.
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2012
|
Congratulations for you won this one as it was meant to be, not good at colouring inside other peoples lines, liked your thoughts.
Comment Written 21-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2012
-
thx so much Mba! this was one of those "totally out of left field" writes as I was doodling in the car waiting to pick my son up from school! :)
Comment from Charlene0513
To visionary1234,
This is a quaint and superbly crafted poem sensing the character of a young girl and how she visulizes Jesus.
Authencity at its best through the precious eyes of a little one.
Charlene
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2012
|
To visionary1234,
This is a quaint and superbly crafted poem sensing the character of a young girl and how she visulizes Jesus.
Authencity at its best through the precious eyes of a little one.
Charlene
Comment Written 21-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2012
-
thanks so much Charlene ... out of the mouths of babes ... yes? :) Sharyn
