The Wet-Willy's Duel
Outsmarting the adults.35 total reviews
Comment from hemase
This is a thouroughly delightful story and I enjoyed it from start to finish.
The dialouge is excelllent, which is something I always look for when reviewing, and helps the story jump off the page.
I very rarely give out six stars but this piece is so enjoyable I think it deserved it. Good work and well done.
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2012
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This is a thouroughly delightful story and I enjoyed it from start to finish.
The dialouge is excelllent, which is something I always look for when reviewing, and helps the story jump off the page.
I very rarely give out six stars but this piece is so enjoyable I think it deserved it. Good work and well done.
Comment Written 10-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2012
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Thank you so much for this rare six, hemase. The rare ones are the most valuable. Much appreicated. Peace, Lee
Comment from bhogg
Lee - you are so incredibly creative. This one had a smile on my face from the very beginning and didn't end. I'm still smiling. As you know, I tend towards non-fiction and this little yarn started me thinking about my own grandparents. Regards, Bill
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2012
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Lee - you are so incredibly creative. This one had a smile on my face from the very beginning and didn't end. I'm still smiling. As you know, I tend towards non-fiction and this little yarn started me thinking about my own grandparents. Regards, Bill
Comment Written 10-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2012
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Ah, Bill, you make me feel good--and not just because of the 6.
I get the feeling we share many of the same values. It tickles me that this one clicked for you. Thank you again. Peace, Lee
Comment from Taffspride
Your first line was an attention grabber for me, and my attention never wavered throughout this well written,and very funny story,
I loved the insertion of the boys thoughts throughout the story.
I wouldn't change a thing about this witty work.
Well done, I look forward to reading more.
Iechyd da
Taffspride
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2012
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Your first line was an attention grabber for me, and my attention never wavered throughout this well written,and very funny story,
I loved the insertion of the boys thoughts throughout the story.
I wouldn't change a thing about this witty work.
Well done, I look forward to reading more.
Iechyd da
Taffspride
Comment Written 10-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2012
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Thank you so much, Taffspride. I love you comment about grabbing and keeping your attention--that's the best news I ca receive. Thank you again. Peace, Lee
Comment from Julie G
Love it-- every word, very well written and no, it is not too long. I love the transitions that allow other characters to be part of the story, introduced in such a way as to show us they have been there hearing this dear, old Grampa all along...loving him, in spite of the giggles and the "goat" name calling. Delightful. Sweet relief as it offers fun and laughter and a gentle lesson. Kinda reminds me of a story Opie during his time with Sheriff Taylor might tell us.
Well done.
Julie G
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2012
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Love it-- every word, very well written and no, it is not too long. I love the transitions that allow other characters to be part of the story, introduced in such a way as to show us they have been there hearing this dear, old Grampa all along...loving him, in spite of the giggles and the "goat" name calling. Delightful. Sweet relief as it offers fun and laughter and a gentle lesson. Kinda reminds me of a story Opie during his time with Sheriff Taylor might tell us.
Well done.
Julie G
Comment Written 10-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2012
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Thanks so much, Julie. I do love these 'gentle' stories about people who really care for each other. I'm delighted you enjoyed. Peace, Lee
Comment from pattipac
Bravo! You did it again. Your description of the young boys and G.R. pulled me in from the start. Creative way of leading up to Grandpaw's way for the boys to celebrate their last day of summer break before school begins. LOL, dare from Ray to challenge G.R. to a drawl. Creative answer given by Ray as to why his chosen animal was the smartest.
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2012
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Bravo! You did it again. Your description of the young boys and G.R. pulled me in from the start. Creative way of leading up to Grandpaw's way for the boys to celebrate their last day of summer break before school begins. LOL, dare from Ray to challenge G.R. to a drawl. Creative answer given by Ray as to why his chosen animal was the smartest.
Comment Written 10-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2012
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Thank you so much, Patricia. I'm so glad you enjoyed. Peace, Lee
Comment from irishauthorme
Great little story, and I somehow got the feeling when I was reading that this tale came from somewhere in your dim and foggy past, perhaps when you were just at that right age. Amusing and yet still a real slice, and I'll bet that "Goat" had planned on losing before the game even started. That last $10 bill was a dead give-away.
Good work, great plot and dialogue.
irish
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2012
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Great little story, and I somehow got the feeling when I was reading that this tale came from somewhere in your dim and foggy past, perhaps when you were just at that right age. Amusing and yet still a real slice, and I'll bet that "Goat" had planned on losing before the game even started. That last $10 bill was a dead give-away.
Good work, great plot and dialogue.
irish
Comment Written 10-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2012
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Thank you, irish. This isn't autobiographical, but a few of the relationships and nuances are drawn from experience. I'm really glad you enjoyed. Peace, Lee
Comment from Scarbrems
Oh, brilliant. I guess your Ray gave GR a metaphorical wet willy at the end there. Hilarious, always great when the kids get one over on the adults. One teeny nit
"Cut it out(,) Grandpa,"
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2012
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Oh, brilliant. I guess your Ray gave GR a metaphorical wet willy at the end there. Hilarious, always great when the kids get one over on the adults. One teeny nit
"Cut it out(,) Grandpa,"
Comment Written 10-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2012
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Thank you, emsey. I love your 'metaphorical wet willie.' I'm so glad you enjoyed. Peace, Lee
Comment from ddsaar
Marvellous story,
Had me smiling a lot. I liked the idea of the ladies in the parlour overhearing the conversation. It is easy to visualise thanks to the flowing dialogue and colourful characters. I didnt see any obvious SPAG nor and parts that need explaining - so well done and thanks for the entertainment.
David
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2012
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Marvellous story,
Had me smiling a lot. I liked the idea of the ladies in the parlour overhearing the conversation. It is easy to visualise thanks to the flowing dialogue and colourful characters. I didnt see any obvious SPAG nor and parts that need explaining - so well done and thanks for the entertainment.
David
Comment Written 10-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2012
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Thank you so much, David. I'm delighted you enjoyed the story. Peace, Lee
Comment from barkingdog
Your opening intro of Grandpa Raines sealed the deal by the time you mentioned him needin' to stir the pot! Who could not take those marvelous hooks--narration, dialogue and inner thought!
I love you italic asides throughout the piece, giving us another view of the ongoing interaction.
You employ alliteration frequently and dot it with cliche. Both establish a down-home style mood with Grandpa and the boys.
Fast moving dialogue with narration and your italic inner comments make this a smooth enjoyable read.(I think I may have already said this, but what the hey, it's worth repeating.)
The Sasquatch answer is a fantastic bit of logic. Very clever, out-of-the-box and appropriate for the imaginative young mind. A great contrast to the in-the- box adult choosing something as close to human as possible.
Fine use of body language( a quick scootch,pursed lips, crossed arms, hand on chin, cleared his throat, etc.) and descriptive verbs pop this off the page.
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2012
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Your opening intro of Grandpa Raines sealed the deal by the time you mentioned him needin' to stir the pot! Who could not take those marvelous hooks--narration, dialogue and inner thought!
I love you italic asides throughout the piece, giving us another view of the ongoing interaction.
You employ alliteration frequently and dot it with cliche. Both establish a down-home style mood with Grandpa and the boys.
Fast moving dialogue with narration and your italic inner comments make this a smooth enjoyable read.(I think I may have already said this, but what the hey, it's worth repeating.)
The Sasquatch answer is a fantastic bit of logic. Very clever, out-of-the-box and appropriate for the imaginative young mind. A great contrast to the in-the- box adult choosing something as close to human as possible.
Fine use of body language( a quick scootch,pursed lips, crossed arms, hand on chin, cleared his throat, etc.) and descriptive verbs pop this off the page.
Comment Written 10-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2012
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Ellen, thank you so much! You pick out all the things I really work on. Thank you again for a marvelous review. Peace, Lee
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It's my pleasure. I've thanked our mutual friend for telling me about you. :) Ellen
Comment from kiwisteveh
Not an ornery, fun-spoiling sidewinder in sight. This is a good-natured tale and yo'd have to guess that even if thr boys had lost the 'duel' somehow or other they would have still got to go to the fun park.
Interplay between the characters is superb.
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2012
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Not an ornery, fun-spoiling sidewinder in sight. This is a good-natured tale and yo'd have to guess that even if thr boys had lost the 'duel' somehow or other they would have still got to go to the fun park.
Interplay between the characters is superb.
Comment Written 10-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2012
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Thanks so much, Steve. I'm delighted you enjoyed. Peace, Lee
