Reviews from

No Such Luck

Revision of an earlier poem

145 total reviews 
Comment from adewpearl
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

nice touches of alliteration
Good use of illustrative examples
You make your point with a strong spiritual undertone clearly and with conviction :-) Brooke

 Comment Written 30-Aug-2012


reply by the author on 31-Aug-2012
    Thank you Brooke.
Comment from RaymondJohn
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

You make a strong case, but I do think that there is a balance for most people, and that some are more fortunate than others. Some attribute it to living a godly life, but there are many more who do the same and have nothing to show for it. Good write, even if I'm not in total agreement with you. Ray.

 Comment Written 30-Aug-2012


reply by the author on 30-Aug-2012
    Thanks Ray.
Comment from grassroots08
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

The rabbit's foot might be lucky, except for the rabbit. LOL The rhyming here is scattered and the stanzas are varied also. I also had trouble with the white letters on light pink. Maybe change background color to Bright red to watch the red circle. (Making it easier to read.) Cheers, Don

"MORE" Suggested changes to smooth it out. Hope this helps. see below>




If you believe in A WORD CALLED luck.

Then I‚??M FEELING KINDA sorry for you.

Because you've gotten your mind stuck.

Into a world old fables and folktales that aren't true.


A rabbit's foot is JUST THAT a rabbit's foot, nothing more.
(Seven-year broken mirrors are)
A broken mirror brings bad luck is just a fabrication.

Ladders and black cats SHOULDN‚??T SCARE US TO THE CORE (are too stagnant to be a bore).

All of these old world things you take to be facts

Are just the results of an unamused culture's AN insidious imagination.


So please DUMP THE STUPIDSTITIONS start living your life.

And pay no attention to what the Irish or the fortune tellers say.

Don't let them make you view everything with skeptical strife.

Because God has created FOR EACH OF US a beautiful WAY. scene.


With violets, daffodils, and grasses of green.

Bestowed upon you to celebrate this day.


So please just relax your heart mind and soul.

Get those wicked superstitions out of your psyche.

And give yourself to Jesus and let Him be in control.

For HE HAS SAID IT, He is the Lord, strong and Mighty.

 Comment Written 30-Aug-2012


reply by the author on 30-Aug-2012
    Thank you Don.
Comment from Gungalo
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

You are right of course in your assessment of the world of luck. Luck is just that but belief in God is perfect. You must trust that the Lord is the only way.

 Comment Written 30-Aug-2012


reply by the author on 30-Aug-2012
    Thank you Gungalo.
reply by Gungalo on 30-Aug-2012
    Smile.
Comment from Crystal Carey
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Good poem, I am Irish though... Not liking that line :O( But I also do not believe in god, so I guess you and I are as different as can be. Still the poem flows well, and I enjoyed the read.

 Comment Written 30-Aug-2012


reply by the author on 30-Aug-2012
    Thank you Carey sorry that offended you.
reply by Crystal Carey on 30-Aug-2012
    Oh no it didn't LOL I don't get offended. I enjoyed the poem still I am not that sensitive! ~~Crystal~~
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2012
    cool.
Comment from Heaven Bound
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Well said. I'll go even one step further, they could be viewed as idolatry. I'm so happy to see such a writing here on FS. There's not enough of this. Thanks.

 Comment Written 30-Aug-2012


reply by the author on 30-Aug-2012
    Thank you Heaven.
Comment from xxjsfuncxxxity
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is great. I've always said that ''luck'' is where opportunity meets preparation. I'm sure that Jesus would agree! Simple principle, but people seem to want something for nothing.

cheers
js

 Comment Written 30-Aug-2012


reply by the author on 30-Aug-2012
    Thank you Jon.
Comment from Janet Foor
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Excellent message. Very nice presentation in your poem "No Such Luck". I agree with your message to live your life by faith God and blind luck. Very nicely done.

 Comment Written 30-Aug-2012


reply by the author on 30-Aug-2012
    Thank you Jm.
Comment from Spitfire
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I think this would make a better prose piece. You have listed a lot of examples of superstitions that people cling to -- it would interesting to research the source of these legends.
Your author's note is not noted. The message is clearly stated.

 Comment Written 30-Aug-2012


reply by the author on 30-Aug-2012
    Thank you Spitfire.
Comment from Maustin
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

"Because God has created a beautiful scene.
With violets, daffodils, and grasses of green.
Bestowed upon you to celebrate this day..."
These are beautiful lines you painted here. So true...Like the presentation too.

 Comment Written 30-Aug-2012


reply by the author on 30-Aug-2012
    Thank you Maustin.