All Those Puzzling Pieces
Viewing comments for Chapter 28 "Pull Up a Blue Chair"What makes a life? How do the pieces fit?
87 total reviews
Comment from LilHippie
Wow. Did one myself, that my best friend loves, but never had the courage to post it here. This is awesome lady!! I love it. Amazing, you covered a million things that piss me off so much! and you did it with anger, love it. And, you live in Hawaii!!! It's hard to type while you're packing a bag.
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2012
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Wow. Did one myself, that my best friend loves, but never had the courage to post it here. This is awesome lady!! I love it. Amazing, you covered a million things that piss me off so much! and you did it with anger, love it. And, you live in Hawaii!!! It's hard to type while you're packing a bag.
Comment Written 20-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2012
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hey! thanks so much for taking a peek LH! I had a feeling you'd like that one! Do you have a recommendation for one of yours??? :)Sharyn
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Tattered Planet or bleeding heart. hey, this is fun!!!!!!
Comment from Charlie Crewes
Really enjoyed this. A good rant put in a different style that makes it even more appealing to read through-several times. I'm submitting a short story tomorrow that has politics as a main topic. It's so easy to become angry in what we see and hear from our representatives (who and what do they represent?)"A personal philosophy that's based on what's true in the Universe will sustain you through every occurence that life brings you." Very well-done and congrats on your work.
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2012
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Really enjoyed this. A good rant put in a different style that makes it even more appealing to read through-several times. I'm submitting a short story tomorrow that has politics as a main topic. It's so easy to become angry in what we see and hear from our representatives (who and what do they represent?)"A personal philosophy that's based on what's true in the Universe will sustain you through every occurence that life brings you." Very well-done and congrats on your work.
Comment Written 04-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2012
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Thank you SO much for reading and "getting" this piece Charlie - I shall look forward to your story! and a specially big "thank you" for awarding the magic '6'!
Best wishes
Sharyn
Comment from bokeh
In content, you cover much territory here. Thematically, and oddly enough given your chosen structure, I find this much like a sonnet in its treatment of the general theme. Initially, you put forth a situation or premise and follow that with a resolution ("barbed wire, fence my yard, guns for hire"). There is a sonnet-like "turn" ("build your wall, yes, but plant a garden") that precedes a second and, in this case, contrasting resolution to the problem. I like the internal rhyme: "intubate-masturbate" and "no fearsome viper, no pied piper." Also like the alliteration: "homeless-hopeless," "dead-dank," and the word choices are often dynamic. Creative and thought-provoking.
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2012
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In content, you cover much territory here. Thematically, and oddly enough given your chosen structure, I find this much like a sonnet in its treatment of the general theme. Initially, you put forth a situation or premise and follow that with a resolution ("barbed wire, fence my yard, guns for hire"). There is a sonnet-like "turn" ("build your wall, yes, but plant a garden") that precedes a second and, in this case, contrasting resolution to the problem. I like the internal rhyme: "intubate-masturbate" and "no fearsome viper, no pied piper." Also like the alliteration: "homeless-hopeless," "dead-dank," and the word choices are often dynamic. Creative and thought-provoking.
Comment Written 04-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2012
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Thank you so much bokey - and thank you for your sharp observation of the details of my style! Much appreciated!
Best wishes
Sharyn
Comment from Thesis
Wow, there's so much in this one. The emotion screams out from this piece for some kind of change to take place. What I get from all of it is that change starts with one person, then one more, and so on.
People need to be honest with themselves and admit their mistakes, then wok on ways to fix the issue, rather than turn a blind eye and continue to decieve.
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2012
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Wow, there's so much in this one. The emotion screams out from this piece for some kind of change to take place. What I get from all of it is that change starts with one person, then one more, and so on.
People need to be honest with themselves and admit their mistakes, then wok on ways to fix the issue, rather than turn a blind eye and continue to decieve.
Comment Written 04-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2012
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you got it Thesis! Thx! :) Sharyn
Comment from Maureen's Pen
LOL Slam Poetry:D I've never heard of it but that doesn't surprise me. It is a fabulous piece though and plays with the mind too.
Excellent work....I didn't get angry or mad....nope just thought how much wisdom is there in this piece. Powerful when one understands who holds the power.
Thanks for sharing.
Maureen
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2012
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LOL Slam Poetry:D I've never heard of it but that doesn't surprise me. It is a fabulous piece though and plays with the mind too.
Excellent work....I didn't get angry or mad....nope just thought how much wisdom is there in this piece. Powerful when one understands who holds the power.
Thanks for sharing.
Maureen
Comment Written 04-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2012
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thx Maureen! :)
Comment from fictionwriter
Having all this in one place makes one think about how we approach the things in life that make us mad. I loved the way it flowed, and then slowed and gave us something good to end with. Nice job.
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2012
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Having all this in one place makes one think about how we approach the things in life that make us mad. I loved the way it flowed, and then slowed and gave us something good to end with. Nice job.
Comment Written 04-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2012
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thx fw!
Comment from lappmellott
Well, this poem is certainly different, but it definitely expresses some of the truth going on in the world today.
I, too, get flustered when election time comes around. What disturbed me is that we never come together as one, in this country. No matter who gets elected, democrat or republican, they never pull together as one after the election. They all make these ridiculous promises, which none of them are able to keep. I hate all the ridicule that is done of each other. I don't know what the answer is, but I'm so tired of the same old, same old!
Your poem is well written and holds many truths. I do choose to believe that God will always endure!
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2012
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Well, this poem is certainly different, but it definitely expresses some of the truth going on in the world today.
I, too, get flustered when election time comes around. What disturbed me is that we never come together as one, in this country. No matter who gets elected, democrat or republican, they never pull together as one after the election. They all make these ridiculous promises, which none of them are able to keep. I hate all the ridicule that is done of each other. I don't know what the answer is, but I'm so tired of the same old, same old!
Your poem is well written and holds many truths. I do choose to believe that God will always endure!
Comment Written 04-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2012
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I hope so dear - but meanwhile, I hope He pounds some commonsense into humanity!
:) Sharyn
Comment from mauial
Wow is all I can say because this is a flowing slamming ranting of words that speaks volumes about the way things are. Not much more can be said :)
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2012
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Wow is all I can say because this is a flowing slamming ranting of words that speaks volumes about the way things are. Not much more can be said :)
Comment Written 04-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2012
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Thank you so much Al! and a SPECIAL "mahalo" for your magic '6' my dear! We'll have to meet one of these days?!
:) Sharyn
Comment from petervs
I honestly want to give this a 6-star rating for exceptional, but unfortunately I already used them. If only I had read this first! I absolutely loved this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
pull up
a
Blue
Chair
and ask someone in
just one, to nurture
till he has the strength to take responsibility
for building a garden of his own -
why do i feel teary-eyed? is that normal??
anyway, good luck with the contest! im definitely routing for this poem!!!!!!!!!!!! ;-)
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2012
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I honestly want to give this a 6-star rating for exceptional, but unfortunately I already used them. If only I had read this first! I absolutely loved this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
pull up
a
Blue
Chair
and ask someone in
just one, to nurture
till he has the strength to take responsibility
for building a garden of his own -
why do i feel teary-eyed? is that normal??
anyway, good luck with the contest! im definitely routing for this poem!!!!!!!!!!!! ;-)
Comment Written 04-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2012
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thx so much Peter!
:) Sharyn
Comment from honeytree
Excellent art work and words written.
The world is becoming very evil and love is dwindling.
How do we stop this hate and crime?
Evil will overtake the world if goodness does not win.
honey tree
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2012
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Excellent art work and words written.
The world is becoming very evil and love is dwindling.
How do we stop this hate and crime?
Evil will overtake the world if goodness does not win.
honey tree
Comment Written 04-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2012
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thank you honeytree!
