Hedgerow Tales
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "Fire Drill at Hedgerow School"Book 3 in the Hedgerow Series
30 total reviews
Comment from Hollyhock
I think you know what I am going to say. Great story, great characters, great lesson.
As usual your animals humanize very well and the storyline will capture the imagination of your readers.
Last stanza,
"Miss Freda the Frog turned around now to say" and,
"This day was the best one they'd ever known". Perhaps these flow a bit better? The rest was absolutely lovely.
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2012
  |
I think you know what I am going to say. Great story, great characters, great lesson.
As usual your animals humanize very well and the storyline will capture the imagination of your readers.
Last stanza,
"Miss Freda the Frog turned around now to say" and,
"This day was the best one they'd ever known". Perhaps these flow a bit better? The rest was absolutely lovely.
Comment Written 25-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2012
-
Thank you loads, Andrea, you always tidy my lines up perfectly! I will go in again and sort that. Thank you as well for your really lovely review, I glad you liked it! xsx
Comment from justatuna
This was an excellent poem. You did a great job of telling an important message in a poem. Format looked great. Flowed very well and was very intelligent. Great write.
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2012
|
This was an excellent poem. You did a great job of telling an important message in a poem. Format looked great. Flowed very well and was very intelligent. Great write.
Comment Written 25-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2012
-
Thank you so much for this lovely review! I am so pleased you enjoyed it :) Sandra.
Comment from Ricky1024
Adjective Content-******
Moisture proof.
Excellent choice of color.
The pallet was painted and the hue is brazen.
Flow-******
Swift and ravenous.
Your river , your teaching poem is so, very, very,
SWEET!!!
Grammar-******
I could find not an eerie error here, my dear!
Pronunciation-******
perfecto!
Pronounceable-
Starless means that I have nothing that I could teach you here, again, my dearly Dear.
Objective Content-******
on a scale of 1-100 you have achieved perfection..100!
Synopsis-******
What can I say, Imagery is perfect, art is there, a painter of fine with a delectable spirit.
Characterization was right up this writer's station.
Thanks, ricky1024.
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2012
 |
Adjective Content-******
Moisture proof.
Excellent choice of color.
The pallet was painted and the hue is brazen.
Flow-******
Swift and ravenous.
Your river , your teaching poem is so, very, very,
SWEET!!!
Grammar-******
I could find not an eerie error here, my dear!
Pronunciation-******
perfecto!
Pronounceable-
Starless means that I have nothing that I could teach you here, again, my dearly Dear.
Objective Content-******
on a scale of 1-100 you have achieved perfection..100!
Synopsis-******
What can I say, Imagery is perfect, art is there, a painter of fine with a delectable spirit.
Characterization was right up this writer's station.
Thanks, ricky1024.
Comment Written 25-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2012
-
Thank you so very, very much! I am just simply bowled over! What an amazing review, I just can't thank you enough! Pease come again! LOL. YOu have made my year! And a special thank you for awarding this a 6, I do appreciate everything you have said. xsx Sandra.
Comment from nancy_e_davis
I did this once and it didn't save!
How sweet. A very important lesson for children to learn about fire safty. I was wondering of you should do one on "Stop, Drop and Roll," next. That is another thing they should learn.Very well done! Nancy XSX
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2012
|
I did this once and it didn't save!
How sweet. A very important lesson for children to learn about fire safty. I was wondering of you should do one on "Stop, Drop and Roll," next. That is another thing they should learn.Very well done! Nancy XSX
Comment Written 25-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2012
-
Thank you so much, Nancy! I was so worried about this one, being more a learning one. I have never heard of 'Stop, Drop and Roll' So perhaps you had better teach ME please!! Thank you for your lovely review, you are always so wonderful! xsx Sandra.
-
I didn't learn that in school but that is what the Teachers and firemen teach the children now. If their clothes catch on fire they should not try to run away, that only feeds the flames, but to stop, drop to the ground and roll back and forth to smother the flames. Simple. Hard to do.Panic sets in.
That's allI know about it.
-
That's a good idea, but you're right, panic woud set in. But still worth teaching. xsx
Comment from adewpearl
strong rhyming couplets - I was just using fire drills as an analogy in telling a Bible story to kids at vacation bible school the other day :-)
excellent alliteration in phrases like stood up and smiled
You do a great job of explaining a fire drill well without making it into a boring lesson
Excellent detail in this story that is both entertaining and educational :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2012
|
strong rhyming couplets - I was just using fire drills as an analogy in telling a Bible story to kids at vacation bible school the other day :-)
excellent alliteration in phrases like stood up and smiled
You do a great job of explaining a fire drill well without making it into a boring lesson
Excellent detail in this story that is both entertaining and educational :-) Brooke
Comment Written 25-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2012
-
Thank you so much, Brooke, how strange we both used the same lesson. I have been wondering for little while about doing this, it's tricky, so I am pleased you thought it came across well. I used to go to bible class as a child and I loved the stories, I still remember them. Happy days! Thank you again! Sandra.
Comment from arman khan
The poem's rhyme is as beautiful as the poem itself, the names with the repetition of certain letters ( raggie the rat, miss freda the frog,timmy and tommy the mouse) creats ryhthmic impact, the style is, as a child is going to say about his school account.Rhyme scheme is marvelous and acording to the children's poetry.A lesson has been delivered through the poem,the children psychology and the poem are beautifully coincided.
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2012
|
The poem's rhyme is as beautiful as the poem itself, the names with the repetition of certain letters ( raggie the rat, miss freda the frog,timmy and tommy the mouse) creats ryhthmic impact, the style is, as a child is going to say about his school account.Rhyme scheme is marvelous and acording to the children's poetry.A lesson has been delivered through the poem,the children psychology and the poem are beautifully coincided.
Comment Written 25-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2012
-
What a lovely review, thank you so much, Arman, I am really pleased you enjoyed it, thank you! xsx
Comment from AnncFl
You have written a charming poem, dear poet. I might recommend you eliminate as many "ands" as possible. Also make your verbs active instead of passive as much is possible. That means instead of saying he is running, you would write, "he ran." Your poem is good. These couple of comments are trivial, but may make the difference in been being good and excellent.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2012
 |
You have written a charming poem, dear poet. I might recommend you eliminate as many "ands" as possible. Also make your verbs active instead of passive as much is possible. That means instead of saying he is running, you would write, "he ran." Your poem is good. These couple of comments are trivial, but may make the difference in been being good and excellent.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 25-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2012
-
Thank you Ann, for your thoughtful review, I will certainly look at that! xsx
-
HI Ann, Just wondered if you would take another look at this poem,
-
pressed send by mistake!! I have made some changes because of your review, and hoped you could re-review, and change the rating. Many thanks for your advice. Sandra.
Comment from dhee khaye
A long interesting poem. cute little image that captures my attention. i like it. i love the thought inside your work. keep writing. God bless.
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2012
|
A long interesting poem. cute little image that captures my attention. i like it. i love the thought inside your work. keep writing. God bless.
Comment Written 25-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2012
-
Thank you so much, Dhee, I appreciate your kind words a lot, thank you and bless you too! xsx
Comment from J. Dark
I loved this gem of children's poetry. I am quite sure I have reviewed you before and I love your style. You are so good a selecting perfect language for children but keeping the "story within" charming and perfectly age appropriate. I write many children's poems myself so I know how totally hard and under appreciated this particular skill is. I loved this poem - a big well done!
Kindest of regards,
Mrs D :-)
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2012
|
I loved this gem of children's poetry. I am quite sure I have reviewed you before and I love your style. You are so good a selecting perfect language for children but keeping the "story within" charming and perfectly age appropriate. I write many children's poems myself so I know how totally hard and under appreciated this particular skill is. I loved this poem - a big well done!
Kindest of regards,
Mrs D :-)
Comment Written 25-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2012
-
That is so very kind of you, Mrs Dark, I really appreciate this review coming from someone who also writes for children, it is quite hard to get it just right, and I always worry when I post! Thank you for being so nice! xsx
Comment from Anthony Crosbie
Hi Sandra. This is another brilliant story. Is it going in the next book? I love your Hedgrow stories and can't wait to buy your book and read the stories to my boys. Archie x
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2012
|
Hi Sandra. This is another brilliant story. Is it going in the next book? I love your Hedgrow stories and can't wait to buy your book and read the stories to my boys. Archie x
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 25-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2012
-
Hello Archie, I was a bit nervous posting this one. This is the first in the 3rd book. I am testing the water to see if a more learning theme will go down well. This one preparing them if there was a fire at school, but I don't want to frighten them, and I have other ideas, what do you think? Thank you for reading it, you are the first, which I am pleased about as you write for children too, I would value your opinion a lot. Sandra.
-
I think this is a great subject matter for kids. Good lesson and kids love firemen and engines... well mine does. It's good to be nervous before posting - shows how much you care about the story. This'll be great start for you book. Archie
