Comment from Heaven Bound

Excellent

An interesting story. You did well telling it. It's not a favored subject of mine, but it did maintain my attention, wanting to see where it would lead.

 Comment Written 31-Aug-2012

---

reply by the author on 01-Sep-2012

Thanks for reading and commenting, HB.

Comment from Spiritual Echo

Excellent

Great story. Yeah, I can't comment on the situation, don't know what to make of it , but what is the werewolf connection and the claws at the begining?

Well written. Not having seen the original, being able to halve a story's word count is an admirable discipline.

 Comment Written 31-Aug-2012

---

reply by the author on 01-Sep-2012

Cutting a word count in half a discipline? LOL Yes, I guess you could call it that. It's more like cleaning the kitchen by throwing away all your dishes.

Thanks for taking the time to read and comment.

reply by the author on 01-Sep-2012

Oh, and I left the werewolf segment in because I think it adds to the mood, shows the mindset of the main character (me) and sets up a macabre telling, sort of preparing the reader for something weird. I don't think just starting with walking into the bar could have accomplished any of that.

reply by Spiritual Echo on 01-Sep-2012

See if anyone else asks. Maybe the man with the spirit of a werewolf, feeling his claws grow, but if there are no further comments, then ignore mone. Still a great story.

Comment from ajdevore

Excellent

It is a good story and your instincts are right about the cuts. Hope your girl got clean but either way you dodged a bullet. Good luck on the contest.

 Comment Written 31-Aug-2012

---

reply by the author on 01-Sep-2012

Thanks for taking the time to read and comment, AJ.

Comment from justatuna

Excellent

I believe this to be an excellent story. You grabbed my attention from the beginning and made me want more. Really well done. I don't give advice on structure as I'm no expert. Just great imagery and story. Thanks.

 Comment Written 31-Aug-2012

---

reply by the author on 31-Aug-2012

Thanks Tuna... so glad you liked it. And thanks for taking the time to read and comment.

Comment from GWHARGIS

Excellent

This was truly entertaining, even if it was true. I liked that you and your sister have different views. The description of Joey was really good. His smile told more than his words. Good editing on your part because I didn't feel like it needed anymore additional information. Nice job.

 Comment Written 31-Aug-2012

---

reply by the author on 31-Aug-2012

Excellent, G.. I was thinking I'd have to go back and add some stuff due to all the questions I've received in my reviews of this, but I agree. This says it all.

Thanks for taking the time to read and comment.

Comment from RikkaLyn

Excellent

This is a very freaky story; I'm curious, especially since your authors note said that this is a true story that happened to you, what do you think of that prediction that Joey made? It would be great to hear more about your thoughts on that prediction in the story. Also, great job adding in "The Shining". Your story was reminding me of that book even before you mentioned it.

 Comment Written 31-Aug-2012

---

reply by the author on 31-Aug-2012

Hi Rikka,

I think there were two opposing forces that night... (boy, I sound like a crackpot! Normally, I'm a huge skeptic, but as I ponder this over and over since I wrote it, I'm stumped for a logical explanation). You see, me being an agnostic, and naturally faithless, I think, if it were a supernatural event, that the Devil worked on me. And, seeing this, the other side countered his intervention, by making my girlfriend fall asleep... thereby taking away her and my intentions to use. At least, that's my theory... but I still don't believe any of this hogwash even having witnessed everything first hand, just as I've related in the story. The facts are all there, even if told in a way to entertain.

It's up to the reader to decide whether it's supernatural, or just coincidences that appear supernatural... I'm still undecided.

...and that huge party with the band playing... that's probably the strangest part of all. I was from that area, grew up in that area, worked and played in that. I didn't see one person I knew in that bar. Hundreds of people, and all strangers. Sends freakin' willies up my spine thinking about that.

Thanks for taking the time to read and comment.

Comment from Phyllis Stewart

Excellent

This is intriguing, Cris. Glad you flushed the stuff. Maybe the scare was helpful. Creeepy tale, but well done. I will be careful around guys named Joey. At least I know his name now. :)

 Comment Written 31-Aug-2012

---

reply by the author on 31-Aug-2012

LOL... yes, Phyllis. You do that. I always do a doubletake when I hear that name. I have for twenty years.

Thanks for taking the time to read and comment.

Comment from seren james

Excellent

This is a very well written story. I was gripped from beginning to end. The writing style and language used is very enjoyable. Good contest entry.

 Comment Written 31-Aug-2012

---

reply by the author on 31-Aug-2012

Thanks for taking the time to read and comment, Seren. Your encouragement is much appreciated.

Comment from carlaedi

Excellent

It does sound like something taken from The Shining! Very freaky indeed. I'm glad you decided to get rid of the drugs and not relapse. Sometimes temptation is the best test to see if we will rise to the occasion. Very good job, really well written.

 Comment Written 31-Aug-2012

---

reply by the author on 31-Aug-2012

Hi C,

I must admit I was not the addict, never was (thank goodness) except for being addicted to love. Gina, my girlfriend, had been determined to use that night, and I ran out to get her 'fix', intending to smoke it with her so she wouldn't run off to the drug-dealing ex and... well, you know... Too much to this story for a mere thousand words, I guess.

Thanks for reading and commenting. So glad you liked it.

Comment from kra-z-ka-z

Excellent

Man! This is an awesome story! And to think it was true too boot! I believe it though, I have a couple stories of my own...

 Comment Written 31-Aug-2012

---

reply by the author on 31-Aug-2012

Hi Krazy,

I'm pleased you liked it, and will tell you that I have a couple strange stories besides this one in my past, but nothing as strange as this one. I've been talking about it for twenty years... telling friends that I think I've actually met the Devil in person, and his name's Joey... Now, I've finally written it, and I barely believe it myself, how truly weird it is.

Thanks so much for reading, and commenting.