To a son of God
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "Pleasure or Pain?"Metre ... Freeverse & Quatrain
69 total reviews
Comment from ~Vincent Phelps~
This is a great twist on a catch-phrase! Wonderfully written. I especially like the back 'n' forth dialogue. It does give new insight to the topic. Thanks for sharing & keep up the great writing!
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2012
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This is a great twist on a catch-phrase! Wonderfully written. I especially like the back 'n' forth dialogue. It does give new insight to the topic. Thanks for sharing & keep up the great writing!
Comment Written 05-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2012
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Thanks VP....much appreciated.
Comment from MizKat
Bicpen - Your poem is interesting even though it's about the devil, who is always trying to make us do things we shouldn't. Kat
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2012
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Bicpen - Your poem is interesting even though it's about the devil, who is always trying to make us do things we shouldn't. Kat
Comment Written 05-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2012
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Excellent just the way I like it MK...much appreciated.
Comment from bonnie composanto
This is an interesting poem about the devil asking pleasure or pain. The black background with red writing went so well with the picture showing From Hell.
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2012
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This is an interesting poem about the devil asking pleasure or pain. The black background with red writing went so well with the picture showing From Hell.
Comment Written 05-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2012
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Excellent bonnie much appreciated...
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thanks
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No worries...
Comment from vfbryant
Interesting take on the proverb, 'Stolen bread tastes sweet, but afterwards it is gravel in the takers mouth.' Great depiction of hoe our selfish desire for instant gratification is a stepping stone toward spiritual death.
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2012
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Interesting take on the proverb, 'Stolen bread tastes sweet, but afterwards it is gravel in the takers mouth.' Great depiction of hoe our selfish desire for instant gratification is a stepping stone toward spiritual death.
Comment Written 05-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2012
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Excellent, you got it my friend...take care.
Comment from artemis53
It looks as if he truly didn't know what he was getting into which of course is no excuse since we all know better. It's when one is caught that they plead innocence of every kind.
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2012
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It looks as if he truly didn't know what he was getting into which of course is no excuse since we all know better. It's when one is caught that they plead innocence of every kind.
Comment Written 05-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2012
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Too true, my friend...
Comment from fictionwriter
Interesting that a devil would offer pleasure. I thought you got all that while living in this life, and then pay for it afterwords. Well done
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2012
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Interesting that a devil would offer pleasure. I thought you got all that while living in this life, and then pay for it afterwords. Well done
Comment Written 05-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2012
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Well to a devil sin is no pleasure, why because he knows the reality of it, he is full of evil and sin, but when they tempt humans they like to dress it up as a pleasure as the human condition is full of sin and sin feedig on sin is a pleasure....
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...I forgot to add the only reason that it is a pleasure is because there is no hoy goverment to condemn it...if you see what I mean.
Comment from Jaxson Phoenix
A classic tale of good and evil. Most choose the road of least resistance and as such are to and fro in the tempest of sin. Excellent work. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2012
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A classic tale of good and evil. Most choose the road of least resistance and as such are to and fro in the tempest of sin. Excellent work. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 05-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2012
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Anytime.
Comment from S.Yocom
This is a clever little poem, Bicpen. I like the idea of the Assistant devil asking "Pleasure or pain?" And it's nice that you gave the last stanza a rhyme. (By the way, that Bible quote has always bothered me, because it uses incorrect grammar. It should be "....are death" since 'wages' is a plural.)
Sally
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2012
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This is a clever little poem, Bicpen. I like the idea of the Assistant devil asking "Pleasure or pain?" And it's nice that you gave the last stanza a rhyme. (By the way, that Bible quote has always bothered me, because it uses incorrect grammar. It should be "....are death" since 'wages' is a plural.)
Sally
Comment Written 05-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2012
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Wages, I understand as a terminology for payment...
...multiple payment, perhaps something to do with the infinite substance of sin...
...infinite being a multiplying of substance into infinity...
...yet, sin being singular, as a power or entity in which this substance consists...
...so..."is"... is being used for this reason, not quite sure?
Not a linguistics expert but I trust my translators.
The last stanza is not the only quatrain to rhyme...!
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As an English teacher, I apply the normal rules of grammar. The object should agree with the predicate. As to the rhymes: the last stanza rhymes nicely, using the ABCB rhyme scheme.. The first two stanzas use the ABBC pattern. The first stanza has a slant rhyme of pain/came. I must admit that I don't like slant rhymes. To me, the words either rhyme or they don't, but I know that many people use them. I see that you are British, so I understand the second stanza's rhyme of again/pain. Having said all that, I must add that I really like your poem and savored reading it again.
Sally
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Unfortunately, I am not well educated and have no real anchor in the english language other than the way I talk...I did try several times to educate myself but it was a bit of a failure, so I just muddle on as best I can...
Normally i work in slant rhyme and to be fair just because you dont like slant rhyme does not negate the fact that it is a tool of the trade, so to speak.
Granted the poem does not follow the normal rules of the quatrain rhyme scheme as I was just experimenting with this one, just for effect and delivery...
...however, I do like the fact that you still could and do enjoy the piece for what it is in both its message and form,
Much obliged,
Bic.
Comment from Sandie lee
Great poem and message of thinking and praying before we do anything, especially anything stupid.
I like the analogy of the devil in a shop giving out either or.
Well done. The picture words with this as well :)
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2012
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Great poem and message of thinking and praying before we do anything, especially anything stupid.
I like the analogy of the devil in a shop giving out either or.
Well done. The picture words with this as well :)
Comment Written 05-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2012
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Excellent, much appreciated.
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello Bicpen,
Now your poem is an unique way of the devil asking one if they want to sell their soul
I must say I liked the cadence and your last line to me shows that the victim regretted the pleasure the devil bestowed upon him in the end.
Gert
Gert
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2012
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Hello Bicpen,
Now your poem is an unique way of the devil asking one if they want to sell their soul
I must say I liked the cadence and your last line to me shows that the victim regretted the pleasure the devil bestowed upon him in the end.
Gert
Gert
Comment Written 05-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2012
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It was his choice although the gift of persuasion was used.
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I thought so.
Gert
