To a son of God
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "Pleasure or Pain?"Metre ... Freeverse & Quatrain
69 total reviews
Comment from Jean Lutz
I would say the little man showed his sorrow and earned grace. Stark writing! This should grab attention. Will read on.
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2014
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I would say the little man showed his sorrow and earned grace. Stark writing! This should grab attention. Will read on.
Comment Written 02-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2014
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Excellent ... I'd like to think so but on this occasion I determined the individual to feel remorse even though it was too late ... pitiful !
Comment from anabellapongasi
I love your use of dialogue in this well penned story in a poem. Good use of the verse "for the wages of sin is death..."
as pivot line. Nice ending. Great message. Well done:)
Anabella
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2012
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I love your use of dialogue in this well penned story in a poem. Good use of the verse "for the wages of sin is death..."
as pivot line. Nice ending. Great message. Well done:)
Anabella
Comment Written 08-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2012
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Much appreciated...
Comment from squid152
Interesting horror poem. I liked how you played with pleasure or pain. Yes, if you ask the devil for pleasure, you will just get worse pain. LOL!!!-Squid
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2012
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Interesting horror poem. I liked how you played with pleasure or pain. Yes, if you ask the devil for pleasure, you will just get worse pain. LOL!!!-Squid
Comment Written 08-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2012
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Glad you got it..LoL.
Comment from Bryana
I don't think I would like to enter that shop. If I choose pleasure the pain might come in later.
Very well written poem, It was a pleasure reading it.
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2012
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I don't think I would like to enter that shop. If I choose pleasure the pain might come in later.
Very well written poem, It was a pleasure reading it.
Comment Written 07-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2012
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Much thanks....
Comment from Hitcher
Tis a very fine line between pleasure and pain, the pleasure is the drug that screams again and again but the pain, OH the pain, one will never be the same. Cool little slice of darkness my friend, I like!
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2012
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Tis a very fine line between pleasure and pain, the pleasure is the drug that screams again and again but the pain, OH the pain, one will never be the same. Cool little slice of darkness my friend, I like!
Comment Written 07-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2012
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Glad you like Hitcher, enjoy...
Comment from sunnilicious
I loved your poem. Totally enjoyable. You painted an image of hell that resembles Las Vegas quite nicely if you ask me. Excellent narrative poem. :)
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2012
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I loved your poem. Totally enjoyable. You painted an image of hell that resembles Las Vegas quite nicely if you ask me. Excellent narrative poem. :)
Comment Written 07-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2012
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never been sunilicious...BUT THOSE SHOPS ARE EVERYWHERE...lol.
Comment from Mastery
Hi, Larry Where have you been? Maybe it's just me, but I have missed you. This is a dandy poem. You left out the whips and boots tho. LOL...Take care...Bob
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2012
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Hi, Larry Where have you been? Maybe it's just me, but I have missed you. This is a dandy poem. You left out the whips and boots tho. LOL...Take care...Bob
Comment Written 07-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2012
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You might have to read c-Lucas's review for that answer....LOL...!
Comment from Deejharrington
Well done. You could really take this and expand it into a short story. Too many people would choose pleasure, unwilling to see the price that is always paid,in the end.
deb
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2012
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Well done. You could really take this and expand it into a short story. Too many people would choose pleasure, unwilling to see the price that is always paid,in the end.
deb
Comment Written 07-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2012
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Excellent deb glaad you gather the essence of its flavour...
much appreciated.
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my pleasure...well, maybe just you're welcome:)
deb
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Anytime...
Comment from Writingfundimension
Wow, this is a great poem laced with irony and a healthy dose of the supernatural. I have to say your use of read for text, and the graphics, in general, enhanced your theme and seem good choices to me. Well done! Bev
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2012
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Wow, this is a great poem laced with irony and a healthy dose of the supernatural. I have to say your use of read for text, and the graphics, in general, enhanced your theme and seem good choices to me. Well done! Bev
Comment Written 07-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2012
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Excellent Bev
much appreciation,
Bic.
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You're welcome, Bic
BTW, I meant the use of RED in my review. :0)
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Anytime...
Comment from MikoAmaya
And really, that's the question of life. Too often, people choose the pleasure, forgetting that the consequences will cause far more pain than the pleasure one gains. Great poem. The flow was a little choppy, but not too much. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2012
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And really, that's the question of life. Too often, people choose the pleasure, forgetting that the consequences will cause far more pain than the pleasure one gains. Great poem. The flow was a little choppy, but not too much. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 07-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2012
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Excellent, I try to work on that....not to make it choppy but to make it unchoppy....is that the only reason for the four stars...?
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Well, that's the only reason I can consciously pick out. I try to save five (and six) stars for poems I find perfect. If you do fix the flow, let me know and I'll re-read and most likely change it to five stars. :)
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MMMMM...some ideas would be helpful as I'm not well educated and some people tell me I do have a problem with choppiness...hints pleeeaaaase....!
