Swan Dive
A Reflective Sonnet37 total reviews
Comment from steevie
I really liked this poem. I read it three times and each time, I enjoyed it more.
Your criticism poisons all my dreams
And slowly I unravel at the seams ...
This last stanza is powerful and finishes off the poem in a memorable fashion.
excellent write
cpj
steve
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2012
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I really liked this poem. I read it three times and each time, I enjoyed it more.
Your criticism poisons all my dreams
And slowly I unravel at the seams ...
This last stanza is powerful and finishes off the poem in a memorable fashion.
excellent write
cpj
steve
Comment Written 15-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2012
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Hey steevie, thanks for the sixer and terrific review. Glad you were able to enjoy it three times over. LOL
Cheers for the six and have a great weekend.
Closet x
Comment from Mrs Happy Poet
Yes I agree everyone does have confidence issues at one stage in there lives one slight knock is all it takes a bad remark or criticism life can be cruel at times. You have described this very well in your poem it is well written I enjoyed regards Jill
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2012
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Yes I agree everyone does have confidence issues at one stage in there lives one slight knock is all it takes a bad remark or criticism life can be cruel at times. You have described this very well in your poem it is well written I enjoyed regards Jill
Comment Written 15-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2012
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Thanks for a terrific review Jill. I appreciate your input.
Closet
Comment from Alan K Pease
Don't unravel for it is terrible to feel discarded and you really are a beautiful swan in writing and in the whole truth of it. No dual meanings intended.
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2012
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Don't unravel for it is terrible to feel discarded and you really are a beautiful swan in writing and in the whole truth of it. No dual meanings intended.
Comment Written 15-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2012
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Wow what a breathtaking analogy and completely in theme...heehee
Thanks Alan
Cheers P
x
Comment from Spitfire
People can sure do a number on our self-image. You hit it right about jealousy being the cause. Favorite lines:
Ugly Duck Salon LOL,
You sabotage and stalk my state of mind (nice alliteration too)
Dynamite last line:slowly I unravel at the seams ...
Dual meanings? Could apply to many different relationships?
mother-daughter, lovers, writer and reviewers LOL.
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2012
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People can sure do a number on our self-image. You hit it right about jealousy being the cause. Favorite lines:
Ugly Duck Salon LOL,
You sabotage and stalk my state of mind (nice alliteration too)
Dynamite last line:slowly I unravel at the seams ...
Dual meanings? Could apply to many different relationships?
mother-daughter, lovers, writer and reviewers LOL.
Comment Written 15-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2012
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You got it sister, the dual meanings is HIM and also the REFLECTION barking back too with self criticism. It did start as HIM only and then morphed into a dual effort sinking the boot in! LOL Not really a bio though. If I had shattered dreams I wouldn't be writing still. Stifled a little maybe! *smirk*
Thanks for your terrific support Shari.
Cheers P
xo
Comment from nancyjam
There are those who find it necessary
to put others down for whatever reason
to make themselves look better and if we
have the slightest lack of self-confidence their
opinions can become our truth.
The speaker in your excellent Sonnet has met
with one of these people it seems.
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2012
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There are those who find it necessary
to put others down for whatever reason
to make themselves look better and if we
have the slightest lack of self-confidence their
opinions can become our truth.
The speaker in your excellent Sonnet has met
with one of these people it seems.
Comment Written 15-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2012
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What a lovely review nancy, thanks so much.
Most appreciated.
Cheers closet x
Comment from Janice Canerdy
Your well-written, somewhat puzzling sonnet, to me, describes the type of person who, though aware of self-growth, is still quite affected by the sharpness of others' words. (Maybe I took the poem that way because I see myself in it!)
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2012
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Your well-written, somewhat puzzling sonnet, to me, describes the type of person who, though aware of self-growth, is still quite affected by the sharpness of others' words. (Maybe I took the poem that way because I see myself in it!)
Comment Written 15-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2012
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Pretty good analogy. Thanks so much, I appreciate your thoughtful review.
Closet
Comment from Deejharrington
You are right, we all have a tendency to question our own self-worth. Especially when a close friend/family continually tries to tear us down. It takes time to build it strong enough to reject these toxic opinions. You did a beautiful job of describing it using the fable of the Ugly Duckling:)
deb
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2012
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You are right, we all have a tendency to question our own self-worth. Especially when a close friend/family continually tries to tear us down. It takes time to build it strong enough to reject these toxic opinions. You did a beautiful job of describing it using the fable of the Ugly Duckling:)
deb
Comment Written 15-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2012
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Thanks deb...most appreciate your thoughtful response to my poem.
The ugly duck thing was rolling around in my head and the "swan" line was the starter.
Many thanks.
Cheers closet
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you're welcome. Its funny how a phrase or idea keeps kicking around one's head until it gets down on paper:)
deb
Comment from ephraim crud, COS.
i read the change, as you state in your notes.
most of my stuff go off on a tangent -i never
know where the fuck i'm goin'!
a bloody excellent write, as ever, Phillippa.
thank you for sharing and muchly much good luck!
whoop-whoop! love and hugs, xxxxx, ephing gorgeous!
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2012
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i read the change, as you state in your notes.
most of my stuff go off on a tangent -i never
know where the fuck i'm goin'!
a bloody excellent write, as ever, Phillippa.
thank you for sharing and muchly much good luck!
whoop-whoop! love and hugs, xxxxx, ephing gorgeous!
Comment Written 15-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2012
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Thanks for your ephing marvellous response my friend.
As always your reviews are a treat.
Cheers Closet xo
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you're muchly welcome.
xxx eph.
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have i already replied to this?
yes, i have. must be the pisssssss
Comment from Earl of Oxford
I love the funny picture, P - mirrors work the OPPOSITE for me. :-). ''Reflective sonnet' - clever!
To me, anyone who DOESN'T have 'confidence issues' at times is far too pompous and unlikeable to bother with. You don't have to be a pity-party, but nothing wrong with showing a little weakness to confirm humanity and need for some support.
It seems this 'ficticious' individual prefers you to be a div, dependant on him, rather than 'growing' within your relationship and ADDING to it, rather than threatening it. 'Jealousy' sure seems the right word. This brilliantly alliterated line sums it up:
'You sabotage and stalk my state of mind'
Terrific rhyme and meter, of course, plus strong emotions from a strong mind.
Best wishes, Ray
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2012
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I love the funny picture, P - mirrors work the OPPOSITE for me. :-). ''Reflective sonnet' - clever!
To me, anyone who DOESN'T have 'confidence issues' at times is far too pompous and unlikeable to bother with. You don't have to be a pity-party, but nothing wrong with showing a little weakness to confirm humanity and need for some support.
It seems this 'ficticious' individual prefers you to be a div, dependant on him, rather than 'growing' within your relationship and ADDING to it, rather than threatening it. 'Jealousy' sure seems the right word. This brilliantly alliterated line sums it up:
'You sabotage and stalk my state of mind'
Terrific rhyme and meter, of course, plus strong emotions from a strong mind.
Best wishes, Ray
Comment Written 15-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2012
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LOL Thanks earl. Your support and thoughtful response is most appreciated. This is not a bio, only elements and in much smaller proportions. I AM highly self critical so figured a dual pov from the reflection AND him would work.
Thanks for your input.
Cheers P
Comment from Joan E.
I'm glad you realize "confidence issues" a universal commodity! Isn't it great when a poem starts out in one vein and leads us far astray? Thanks for sharing your reflections in this sonnet form. I enjoyed your rhymes and multiple meanings; your "swan/Ugly Duck" contrast is quite effective. Your Best wishes in the contest. Hugs- Joan
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2012
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I'm glad you realize "confidence issues" a universal commodity! Isn't it great when a poem starts out in one vein and leads us far astray? Thanks for sharing your reflections in this sonnet form. I enjoyed your rhymes and multiple meanings; your "swan/Ugly Duck" contrast is quite effective. Your Best wishes in the contest. Hugs- Joan
Comment Written 15-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2012
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Thanks Joan, I liked the Ugly Duck scenario right from the get go and that was the inspiration. Cheers for your support.
Closet xoxo
