Lonely Hearts Meet
Viewing comments for Chapter 71 "part two, Chapter 21"Anna and her son escape from a man-made Hell.
75 total reviews
Comment from writerwish
Excellent once again. I love the part when she wakes up and Troy is so understanding. Suggestions only: the kiss from Everett, a touch on the shoulder seems more appropriate. Just trying to help. You really do an excellent job at both narrative and dialogue.
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2012
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Excellent once again. I love the part when she wakes up and Troy is so understanding. Suggestions only: the kiss from Everett, a touch on the shoulder seems more appropriate. Just trying to help. You really do an excellent job at both narrative and dialogue.
Comment Written 20-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2012
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I will think about it. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from WLHall
Barbara, this was an excellent chapter. So glad Anna remembered it all and now she can move on without worrying about Bobby coming around. Your writing is good and tight, didn't see any spags. I am so glad to be following your work. Great job!
Wanda
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2012
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Barbara, this was an excellent chapter. So glad Anna remembered it all and now she can move on without worrying about Bobby coming around. Your writing is good and tight, didn't see any spags. I am so glad to be following your work. Great job!
Wanda
Comment Written 19-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from JW
In reading this well written chapter, one cannot help but wonder what it would be like to actually have to experience something this horrible in real life.
You did a good job writing this. JW
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2012
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In reading this well written chapter, one cannot help but wonder what it would be like to actually have to experience something this horrible in real life.
You did a good job writing this. JW
Comment Written 19-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2012
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This novel is a combination of different women's stories. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from hww09002
amazing piece of writing. my favorite excerpt is (Anna felt her legs weaken and leaned against Troy. "Something bad happened here.") keep it up!
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2012
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amazing piece of writing. my favorite excerpt is (Anna felt her legs weaken and leaned against Troy. "Something bad happened here.") keep it up!
Comment Written 19-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Auroraboreal800
This is a wonderful chapter. It's so good that finally Anna can remember. Everything looks now in the right place. Are we getting close to the end? I'm going to miss this great story!
EXCELLENT JOB! God bless you dear Barbara,
:)
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2012
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This is a wonderful chapter. It's so good that finally Anna can remember. Everything looks now in the right place. Are we getting close to the end? I'm going to miss this great story!
EXCELLENT JOB! God bless you dear Barbara,
:)
Comment Written 19-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2012
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Thnak you for the kind review.
Comment from Curtis Hatch
The storyline moves well with plenty of excitement and action. Both the plot and the characters are believable.
Here are some grammar/spelling issues:
somthing (something)
will be enough and Michael's things (be enough, and Michael's)
I guess it's a need to know basis and I don't have a need to know. (know basis, and I don't)
apartment manager and he's Okayed some (manager, and he's Okayed...okayed)
Instead of going to him I felt myself(to him, I felt)
ice cold (ice-cold)
Of what? (An incomplete sentence that is not part of a speaker's dialogue)
Excellent job...
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2012
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The storyline moves well with plenty of excitement and action. Both the plot and the characters are believable.
Here are some grammar/spelling issues:
somthing (something)
will be enough and Michael's things (be enough, and Michael's)
I guess it's a need to know basis and I don't have a need to know. (know basis, and I don't)
apartment manager and he's Okayed some (manager, and he's Okayed...okayed)
Instead of going to him I felt myself(to him, I felt)
ice cold (ice-cold)
Of what? (An incomplete sentence that is not part of a speaker's dialogue)
Excellent job...
Comment Written 19-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2012
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I have made all the corrections except the but what one. It's Anna's thought and is in italics. Thank you for your eagle eye.
Comment from LucyB
Believe me... It does not matter if this is the first chapter a reader has ever read... It is wonderful! I followed the action very well. This has got to be a very good book and I want to read what you have written so far. Great job!
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2012
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Believe me... It does not matter if this is the first chapter a reader has ever read... It is wonderful! I followed the action very well. This has got to be a very good book and I want to read what you have written so far. Great job!
Comment Written 19-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from jhp124gr
A very nice chapter, the action intertwined in the story makes the characters come alive and in Bobby's case, dead. Pace is very good. I really enjoy reading your work. Great job.
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2012
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A very nice chapter, the action intertwined in the story makes the characters come alive and in Bobby's case, dead. Pace is very good. I really enjoy reading your work. Great job.
Comment Written 19-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from missy98writer
I love the part about the dream catcher and I'm elated Anna remembers so Troy and her can get together to do the dance of love. Your latest chapter is fabulously written with marvelous imagery and heart aching memories. I felt Anna's fear. Would I recommend this chapter to others? Hell yes, Mrs Wilkey rocks and her hubby provides the art work & photography. Keep writing your heart out, my friend. Lovely day to you.
Melissa.
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2012
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I love the part about the dream catcher and I'm elated Anna remembers so Troy and her can get together to do the dance of love. Your latest chapter is fabulously written with marvelous imagery and heart aching memories. I felt Anna's fear. Would I recommend this chapter to others? Hell yes, Mrs Wilkey rocks and her hubby provides the art work & photography. Keep writing your heart out, my friend. Lovely day to you.
Melissa.
Comment Written 19-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2012
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Thank you for the kind review. I always enjoye hearing from you.
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I see you too are getting hit with threes and fours with idiotic reasons. I received a three on one of my garden poems. I got Tom to remove a nasty review in which the person said my writing was F-u up and they used the words after giving me a two- but sad for them they were reported and are no longer around.
Melissa.
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I don't understand what's going on. It seems to be worse now than ever.
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It called newbees jealous because many of us old users have honed our craft. Some are former or current English teacher snobs who believe they are expert.
Melissa.
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When they are not expert. I need to comment on your health update I read at 4am.
Melissa.
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what were you doing up at 4:00 AM
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Pain, Pain, pain makes me insane.
Melissa.
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That makes sense.
Comment from nora arjuna
hi barb, managed to catch this just before bedtime. see a couple of notes:
Anna [felt] an ice cold [feeling] throughout her body that threatened her being. - felt/feeling - try to adjust. no need to tell she felt the feeling. she was feeling it already. try:
An ice cold feeling spread throughout Anna's body and threatened her being.
"I've talked with the apartment manager and he's [Okayed] some changes - small 'o'.
looks like things are going fine.
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2012
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hi barb, managed to catch this just before bedtime. see a couple of notes:
Anna [felt] an ice cold [feeling] throughout her body that threatened her being. - felt/feeling - try to adjust. no need to tell she felt the feeling. she was feeling it already. try:
An ice cold feeling spread throughout Anna's body and threatened her being.
"I've talked with the apartment manager and he's [Okayed] some changes - small 'o'.
looks like things are going fine.
Comment Written 19-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2012
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I will make the changes. Thank you for your eagle eye.
