never
Help yourself before helping someone else4 total reviews
Comment from strandregs
Very good 5-7-5 , you got that right now and the message in the poem is cryptic and potentially misleading but good try.Z.
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2012
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Very good 5-7-5 , you got that right now and the message in the poem is cryptic and potentially misleading but good try.Z.
Comment Written 30-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2012
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how is it misleading
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You know a diamond has many faces -
My favourite western movie: "They call me nobody".(Tarantino)
There's a scene where he tells about a chick who falls out of his nest on a cold night and a passing cow poops on him and he is so happy he starts chirping and a prairy dog comes and eats him. and the moral: you'll have to watch the movie if you can't make it out.Z.
Comment from gifted$1
Hey now! This one is spot on, sister! I like what you have said here. It reminds me of that scripture that says..take the log out of your own eye before you pull that twig out of another person's eye. How many of us try to fix somebody..and we need the fixin'? Nice one! :)
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2012
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Hey now! This one is spot on, sister! I like what you have said here. It reminds me of that scripture that says..take the log out of your own eye before you pull that twig out of another person's eye. How many of us try to fix somebody..and we need the fixin'? Nice one! :)
Comment Written 13-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2012
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thanks :) yay i try so hard on this one
Comment from Sally Carter
The message of your poem in undeniable, but I'm afraid you have misunderstood what the 5-7-5 contest requires.
5-7-5 refers to the numbers of syllables in each line - so the first line should have five syllables, the second should have seven, and the last line should again have five.
I fear that your poem would have no chance in the contest in its current form, but if you could pare it right down, the idea would probably win a lot of support.
Best wishes, and good luck in making the changes.
Sally
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2012
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The message of your poem in undeniable, but I'm afraid you have misunderstood what the 5-7-5 contest requires.
5-7-5 refers to the numbers of syllables in each line - so the first line should have five syllables, the second should have seven, and the last line should again have five.
I fear that your poem would have no chance in the contest in its current form, but if you could pare it right down, the idea would probably win a lot of support.
Best wishes, and good luck in making the changes.
Sally
Comment Written 13-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2012
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i made changes and change it up alot .. i would like if you would go over it for me..please:)
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Yay! Well done. Much, much better. I have straightway upped to a 5. Bravo!
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thanks so much :)
Comment from phill doran
Hello there
YOu need to go back to the contest rules and see what is required for a 5-7-5:
1st line - 5 syllables
2nd line - 7 syllables
3rd line - 5 syllables again.
You are well off the mark here and as a contest entry the piece may not even be read, unless corrected.
So, rework what you have into this format or reconsider using this piece elsewhere in another competition etc.
I wish you well
Cheers
phill
On the second line
'...you're...' NOT '...your...'
Last line - don't start with a capital
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2012
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Hello there
YOu need to go back to the contest rules and see what is required for a 5-7-5:
1st line - 5 syllables
2nd line - 7 syllables
3rd line - 5 syllables again.
You are well off the mark here and as a contest entry the piece may not even be read, unless corrected.
So, rework what you have into this format or reconsider using this piece elsewhere in another competition etc.
I wish you well
Cheers
phill
On the second line
'...you're...' NOT '...your...'
Last line - don't start with a capital
Comment Written 13-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2012
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i did it over and thanks
