Don't Argue with Mom
rhymed verse for a child15 total reviews
Comment from Bill Schott
The beauty of this poem is that is taken from an everyday occurence and vaulted to this well developed poem. I like the meter and the rhyme scheme. Nice.
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2012
  |
The beauty of this poem is that is taken from an everyday occurence and vaulted to this well developed poem. I like the meter and the rhyme scheme. Nice.
Comment Written 07-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2012
-
Thank you for taking the time to review my little poem.
Comment from nora arjuna
Hi there your poem is nicely constructed although i feel it is more for the mother to let out especially with the last line. I always think that a poem for child is sweet and fun. Anyway i wish you the best in the contest.
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2012
|
Hi there your poem is nicely constructed although i feel it is more for the mother to let out especially with the last line. I always think that a poem for child is sweet and fun. Anyway i wish you the best in the contest.
Comment Written 07-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2012
-
Thank you for taking the time to review my little poem.
Comment from Bina1
The walls of a home get a great workout with children in the home! A great poem, thank you for sharing. I like the quick pace, good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2012
|
The walls of a home get a great workout with children in the home! A great poem, thank you for sharing. I like the quick pace, good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 06-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2012
-
Thank you for taking the time to review my little poem.
Comment from missy98writer
Poet,
Yout poem is splendidly written with concrete imagery. The art work is priceless you used. I like the unique give and take of mom and child about going out in the rain. I personally dig dancing in the rain. Your poem is creative with excellent allitetation, fine metaphor, great rhyme and meter, strong rhythmic flow and very good poetic word structure. I like your two way narrative. I enjoyed your third stanza the best: "But Mom, the rain is great getting wet is not bad I won't stay out too late staying in makes me sad" I wish you good luck in the Children's Rhyming Poem writing prompt contest. I will endorse your poem a must read. I will recommend your poetic gem to other reviewers. Nice day to you.
Missy.
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2012
|
Poet,
Yout poem is splendidly written with concrete imagery. The art work is priceless you used. I like the unique give and take of mom and child about going out in the rain. I personally dig dancing in the rain. Your poem is creative with excellent allitetation, fine metaphor, great rhyme and meter, strong rhythmic flow and very good poetic word structure. I like your two way narrative. I enjoyed your third stanza the best: "But Mom, the rain is great getting wet is not bad I won't stay out too late staying in makes me sad" I wish you good luck in the Children's Rhyming Poem writing prompt contest. I will endorse your poem a must read. I will recommend your poetic gem to other reviewers. Nice day to you.
Missy.
Comment Written 06-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2012
-
Thank you for taking the time to review my little poem and your encouraging support. F_ :)
Comment from martianpress
It is done well, but I find it hard to believe. Is it meant ot be ironic? Generally now it is nearly impossible to get children to go outside and leave their technology behind.
It would be nice for rythm of the poem to say "then, those sniffles and a cough".
ADn the last stanza, though I know it is a parent lsoing patience, I think it would be better for a child to hear something like:
I don't want to argue
on this cold and rainy day
so get a deck of cards
and together we will play.
I know the title says Don't Agrue with Mom, but the way you have it end does not seem a kind way to talk to a child, nor the way you want to teach a child to talk back to you.
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2012
 |
It is done well, but I find it hard to believe. Is it meant ot be ironic? Generally now it is nearly impossible to get children to go outside and leave their technology behind.
It would be nice for rythm of the poem to say "then, those sniffles and a cough".
ADn the last stanza, though I know it is a parent lsoing patience, I think it would be better for a child to hear something like:
I don't want to argue
on this cold and rainy day
so get a deck of cards
and together we will play.
I know the title says Don't Agrue with Mom, but the way you have it end does not seem a kind way to talk to a child, nor the way you want to teach a child to talk back to you.
Comment Written 06-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2012
-
Thank you for taking the time to review my little poem.
Comment from rumi <3
It is short and sweet. It has a good flow and I loved the arguments you brought out between mother and son. However I feel that the end is not very solid. As in it does not correlate with the title of the poem.
If you could have introduced an incident that brings out the title of the poem, I feel your poem will carry more weight.
Otherwise its well written and well rhymed.
Good luck with the contest! :)
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2012
|
It is short and sweet. It has a good flow and I loved the arguments you brought out between mother and son. However I feel that the end is not very solid. As in it does not correlate with the title of the poem.
If you could have introduced an incident that brings out the title of the poem, I feel your poem will carry more weight.
Otherwise its well written and well rhymed.
Good luck with the contest! :)
Comment Written 06-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2012
-
Thank you for taking the time to review my little poem.
Comment from MizKat
This is a very cute poem for the prompt "Children's Rhyming Poem". I enjoyed it very much. Keep up the good work. Kat
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2012
|
This is a very cute poem for the prompt "Children's Rhyming Poem". I enjoyed it very much. Keep up the good work. Kat
Comment Written 06-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2012
-
Thank you for taking the time to review my little poem.
Comment from venika
A very cute poem for children. I am a child, even I argue with my mom like that. I'm pretty sure every child will enjoy reading your poem.
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2012
|
A very cute poem for children. I am a child, even I argue with my mom like that. I'm pretty sure every child will enjoy reading your poem.
Comment Written 06-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2012
-
Thank you for taking the time to review my little poem.
Comment from faithin01
Super Job! I really liked the picture, the words you used to describe it took me back to my childhood years. Excellent read. You're a natural.
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2012
 |
Super Job! I really liked the picture, the words you used to describe it took me back to my childhood years. Excellent read. You're a natural.
Comment Written 06-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2012
-
Thank you for the lovely review and the six stars. I appreciate the encouraging words.
Comment from gazzagodbod
dont hear that enough these days children are more outside is boring i wanna play on my xbox lol if only they knew what they were missing great work my friend gazza
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2012
|
dont hear that enough these days children are more outside is boring i wanna play on my xbox lol if only they knew what they were missing great work my friend gazza
Comment Written 06-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2012
-
Thank you for taking the time to review my little poem.
