Poetry, Dreams In Motion.
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "Gods or Frauds"A collection of poetry.
6 total reviews
Comment from Peterchrd
very good work here, ric.... i think you captured the nature of humanity perfectly.
And all I can think is...
What new creation lies ahead,
In our quest to be as God?
What dire fate awaits our lives,
Before we find that we are frauds?
Great job!
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very good work here, ric.... i think you captured the nature of humanity perfectly.
And all I can think is...
What new creation lies ahead,
In our quest to be as God?
What dire fate awaits our lives,
Before we find that we are frauds?
Great job!
Comment Written 03-Jul-2007
Comment from auspicious76
True... so very true. It's sad, isn't it, when the whole basis of who and what we are boils down to what we can dominate or control?
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True... so very true. It's sad, isn't it, when the whole basis of who and what we are boils down to what we can dominate or control?
Comment Written 03-Jul-2007
Comment from Nescher Pyscher
What if, being the foremost question,
Is what has led us to our follies.
For from our birth, we as Man,
Have sought to equal God.(A. Consider putting 'What If' in quotes, and even adding a question mark - 'What if?'. I had to read this stanza twice to get it. Granted, I'm not the sharpest guy around, but . .. B. Your rhyme scheme is EVERYWHERE!! :0D
. . .duuuuude . .. .
This was friggin' DEEP right here, yo'!
:0D
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What if, being the foremost question,
Is what has led us to our follies.
For from our birth, we as Man,
Have sought to equal God.(A. Consider putting 'What If' in quotes, and even adding a question mark - 'What if?'. I had to read this stanza twice to get it. Granted, I'm not the sharpest guy around, but . .. B. Your rhyme scheme is EVERYWHERE!! :0D
. . .duuuuude . .. .
This was friggin' DEEP right here, yo'!
:0D
Comment Written 26-Feb-2005
Comment from chacho_nips
I think this is a good piece. Very insightful and sage, if you will. I certainly found myself nodding and smiling as I read it. I'm glad you shared.
I did find some problems with it though. First off, I believe "man" in the line "For from our birth, we as man," is a proper noun and should be capitalized. Also, the rhyming scheme seemed inconsistent to me. I understand that's not unheard of, but this just didn't seem like the poem that should have a jumpy rhyme scheme. Do you see where I'm coming from? Finally, I just thought it was rough. Kind of slow and difficult to read.
All in all, I enjoyed it.
Keep writing,
Ricky D
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I think this is a good piece. Very insightful and sage, if you will. I certainly found myself nodding and smiling as I read it. I'm glad you shared.
I did find some problems with it though. First off, I believe "man" in the line "For from our birth, we as man," is a proper noun and should be capitalized. Also, the rhyming scheme seemed inconsistent to me. I understand that's not unheard of, but this just didn't seem like the poem that should have a jumpy rhyme scheme. Do you see where I'm coming from? Finally, I just thought it was rough. Kind of slow and difficult to read.
All in all, I enjoyed it.
Keep writing,
Ricky D
Comment Written 22-Feb-2005
Comment from rhian65
This one certainly left me thinking. The content was quite thought provoking and questioning, but I'm afraid I got a bit lost with the format and had to re-read some lines to ascertain the lesson of the words
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This one certainly left me thinking. The content was quite thought provoking and questioning, but I'm afraid I got a bit lost with the format and had to re-read some lines to ascertain the lesson of the words
Comment Written 22-Feb-2005
Comment from CarolinasAngel
I really like the poem, however I thought it read a bit more like a mini prose. Maybe if you broke it into stanzas? I don't know, maybe its just me?? I loved the content.. Great work on that! :o)
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I really like the poem, however I thought it read a bit more like a mini prose. Maybe if you broke it into stanzas? I don't know, maybe its just me?? I loved the content.. Great work on that! :o)
Comment Written 22-Feb-2005
