Rain
Into the storm60 total reviews
Comment from Crackerberries
That is one creepy looking picture and almost like it was the powder mixing with the fog and rain and mist...weird story, but supernatural is weird in itself.
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2012
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That is one creepy looking picture and almost like it was the powder mixing with the fog and rain and mist...weird story, but supernatural is weird in itself.
Comment Written 29-May-2012
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2012
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Hi there! Please forgive me this late reply? I want to thank you so much...I hope we all have good journeys after this life. That movie is so neat...albeit, weird. Thank you again! Much love!! Susan
Comment from Shirley McLain
I like this story. It opens so much up to the imagination and lets you see the beautiful pictures. Your characters are great. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2012
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I like this story. It opens so much up to the imagination and lets you see the beautiful pictures. Your characters are great. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 29-May-2012
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2012
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Hi there! And thank you very much! Just so you enjoyed! :) Susan
Comment from Jonesy
Interesting story, and an interesting way to write it. The use of ellipses and sentences fragments fit well where in the hands of a lesser writer probably wouldn't.
And bold move to start things off. Not many would have a first sentence like this one.
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2012
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Interesting story, and an interesting way to write it. The use of ellipses and sentences fragments fit well where in the hands of a lesser writer probably wouldn't.
And bold move to start things off. Not many would have a first sentence like this one.
Comment Written 29-May-2012
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2012
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Hi there! And thank you very much! Just so you enjoyed! :) Susan
Comment from DaGirl
nice.
Very creatively written.
Though, we dont know what form Powder took after leaving humanity and it seems that he isnt exactly missing the woman as the woman is.
The love seem one sided but thats just my view.
Is it because of this:
''Her laugh was like the sound of
delicate wind-chimes, and she twirled in circles as his voice spoke to her in the sound of the falling
rain.''...
That you titled your story 'rain'..??
I, for one dont think that is good enough.
Since it is a contest entry- you should consider seriously.
When you title the rain - the reader expects some supernatural connection to the rain itself expect you want to say 'Powder' became the rain (not suggesting that, just for emphasis sake)... I dont see the point of titling it so because it is an assumption that he is talking to her by the sound of the rain (expect you find a way to make it a fact)..
Just my opinion though.
The story itself is lovely.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 29-May-2012
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nice.
Very creatively written.
Though, we dont know what form Powder took after leaving humanity and it seems that he isnt exactly missing the woman as the woman is.
The love seem one sided but thats just my view.
Is it because of this:
''Her laugh was like the sound of
delicate wind-chimes, and she twirled in circles as his voice spoke to her in the sound of the falling
rain.''...
That you titled your story 'rain'..??
I, for one dont think that is good enough.
Since it is a contest entry- you should consider seriously.
When you title the rain - the reader expects some supernatural connection to the rain itself expect you want to say 'Powder' became the rain (not suggesting that, just for emphasis sake)... I dont see the point of titling it so because it is an assumption that he is talking to her by the sound of the rain (expect you find a way to make it a fact)..
Just my opinion though.
The story itself is lovely.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 29-May-2012
reply by the author on 29-May-2012
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Thank you! I'll see what I can do...glad you enjoyed it anyway!
Comment from micci
Great story very well written, I enjoyed reading it a lot I thought that it was very creative, it was a beautiful picture too went well with your story
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2012
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Great story very well written, I enjoyed reading it a lot I thought that it was very creative, it was a beautiful picture too went well with your story
Comment Written 29-May-2012
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2012
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Hi there! And thank you very much! Just so you enjoyed! :) Susan
Comment from Kelleigh
Beautiful. It flows very smoothly, and even those who may not be familiar with the original story of Powder should be able to picture the white skinned boy with red eyes...maybe not exactly as he looked in the movie, but they can at least relate him to those with albinism. I really like your take on what happens to him, becoming one with the elements, a fine mist. I love how you refer to the mating as two becoming one, a cloud...very powerful! I hope you do well in the contest Susan!!
~Kelleigh
reply by the author on 29-May-2012
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Beautiful. It flows very smoothly, and even those who may not be familiar with the original story of Powder should be able to picture the white skinned boy with red eyes...maybe not exactly as he looked in the movie, but they can at least relate him to those with albinism. I really like your take on what happens to him, becoming one with the elements, a fine mist. I love how you refer to the mating as two becoming one, a cloud...very powerful! I hope you do well in the contest Susan!!
~Kelleigh
Comment Written 29-May-2012
reply by the author on 29-May-2012
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hi again Kelleigh! I'll check this out and see what to do. I do appreciate your time and help...hope you'll read it again later... Thank you.
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Absolutely...just let me know when you are ready and I'll re-review for you...don't want you stuck with a three when the story deserves more :D
~Kelleigh
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Hi Kelleigh! I'll work on it tomorrow...I promise. Your time is important and I would never waste it. Thank you again...i did want to take Brookes class. She knows me pretty well and helps me sometimes. You're a good reviewer...Susan :)
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Thank you! It is thanks in good part to Brooke!! Take your time, you don't want to rush through and make mistakes...I'm on here daily and frequently so take your time...I just want it to be in shape for you so when the contest comes you get your proper accalaides :D
Comment from robina1978
Supernatural I don't know much about the subject and that makes it difficult to review. Flash Fiction even more. But I liked it a lot. Thanks and best wishes.
reply by the author on 29-May-2012
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Supernatural I don't know much about the subject and that makes it difficult to review. Flash Fiction even more. But I liked it a lot. Thanks and best wishes.
Comment Written 29-May-2012
reply by the author on 29-May-2012
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Hi, Ine! Just google the movie, "Powder"...it's so interesting...about a boy who is so smart he could bend spoons, etc. You'd like it. And this is just what I imagined he would be after going up into the lightning? Thank you again for a kind review! Hug...
Comment from MAMONIA
This is fabulously creative and mind-boggling.
I love the way you presented your character
and the imagery and description in your write.
This surely has much meaning and a deep and
spiritual message.
I find this to be an excellent entry and
wish you much luck in the contest.
Marie
reply by the author on 29-May-2012
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This is fabulously creative and mind-boggling.
I love the way you presented your character
and the imagery and description in your write.
This surely has much meaning and a deep and
spiritual message.
I find this to be an excellent entry and
wish you much luck in the contest.
Marie
Comment Written 29-May-2012
reply by the author on 29-May-2012
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hi Marie! Wow! Thank you so much. What an encouraging review! I really appreciate this and am delighted you enjoyed~ :o)
Comment from c_lucas
The supernatural is neither super, nor natural. In essance it is the expansion of one's natural powers. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words. Good luck in your contest.
reply by the author on 29-May-2012
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The supernatural is neither super, nor natural. In essance it is the expansion of one's natural powers. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words. Good luck in your contest.
Comment Written 29-May-2012
reply by the author on 29-May-2012
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Hi C! What an interesting and probably correct observation! Maybe we are after all, simply dust in the wind. Luv, ...
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To put it simply, we were created in God's image which mean each of us has the power to create but on different levels.
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I agree with this...but still, it's all above my head most of the time. I'm easily confused... :)
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As it was once explain to me, the only limitation you have are the ones you have unwittingly accepted as your truth.
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Oh dear, then I'm doomed. I am the most self-defeating? person. And I defeat myself without even trying. SO sad...lol!
Comment from dmt1967
I liked your story it was very interesting and i don't know what powder is either I liked the way your descriptive language brings us into the story well done
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reply by the author on 29-May-2012
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I liked your story it was very interesting and i don't know what powder is either I liked the way your descriptive language brings us into the story well done
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 29-May-2012
reply by the author on 29-May-2012
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Hi there! Thanks! So you've seen the movie? It's fascinating! Hope you have...and thank you for reading my take on what might be a part two? sort of...lol! I'm glad you enjoyed this... :o)
