Assassin
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "Into Hiding"Collection of related stories.
23 total reviews
Comment from nomi338
Wow! What a bizarre story this is. I sometimes have concerns about the workings of your mind old buddy. I then realize that creative invention is often displayed in unexpected twists and turns. Bizarre story developments are the stock and trade of good fiction writing, and as good fiction writing goes, this ain't bad.
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2018
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Wow! What a bizarre story this is. I sometimes have concerns about the workings of your mind old buddy. I then realize that creative invention is often displayed in unexpected twists and turns. Bizarre story developments are the stock and trade of good fiction writing, and as good fiction writing goes, this ain't bad.
Comment Written 14-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2018
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These four stories started out totally unrelated. I found a way to tie them together with Dewey the assassin.
Comment from giraffmang
Hi Bill,
This one works on two separate levels. It's eerie on its own but when taken in conjunction with the previous chapter it gives it a different light.
Blair apparently has had a sex change since the first chapter/story...
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2018
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Hi Bill,
This one works on two separate levels. It's eerie on its own but when taken in conjunction with the previous chapter it gives it a different light.
Blair apparently has had a sex change since the first chapter/story...
Comment Written 02-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2018
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I gave him his gear back with better pronouns in Hiding. Thanks for pointing that out.
Comment from robyn corum
Bill,
Soooo...poor old Edgar is dead? I'm not quit sure how he's expecting to have last laugh that he's looking forward to. But far be if from me to burst his bubble -- I just say much good luck!
And good luck to you, too, in the voting!
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2018
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Bill,
Soooo...poor old Edgar is dead? I'm not quit sure how he's expecting to have last laugh that he's looking forward to. But far be if from me to burst his bubble -- I just say much good luck!
And good luck to you, too, in the voting!
Comment Written 31-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2018
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Thanks, Robin
Comment from royowen
I've often wondered if there is some sort of consciousness in a body or not. Bits a great concept for a story Bill. I loved this from the perspective of the deceased, boy, he caipised some havoc, but never again. Well done, a great entry in this contest, good luck, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2018
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I've often wondered if there is some sort of consciousness in a body or not. Bits a great concept for a story Bill. I loved this from the perspective of the deceased, boy, he caipised some havoc, but never again. Well done, a great entry in this contest, good luck, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 31-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2018
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Thanks, Roy
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Welcome Bill
Comment from Ulla
Hi Bill, another interesting addition to your story about the assassin. I liked it. I found one thing: He'd recently talked with Dewey, which had made this get together today possible.= He'd recently talked with Dewey, WHO had made this get together today possible. 'Which' can only ever confer to the abstract, things etc, whereas' who always refer to personalised objects. All best. Ulla:))
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2018
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Hi Bill, another interesting addition to your story about the assassin. I liked it. I found one thing: He'd recently talked with Dewey, which had made this get together today possible.= He'd recently talked with Dewey, WHO had made this get together today possible. 'Which' can only ever confer to the abstract, things etc, whereas' who always refer to personalised objects. All best. Ulla:))
Comment Written 31-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2018
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Which, actually refers to the act of calling. :)
Comment from EMB
Okay, you got me with this one. For a while, I did not know what was going on with the main character, but I had a feeling something was coming based on the last story of yours that I read. And as with the last one, I have questions. LOL So is he really dead, or is he just screwed? :)
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2012
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Okay, you got me with this one. For a while, I did not know what was going on with the main character, but I had a feeling something was coming based on the last story of yours that I read. And as with the last one, I have questions. LOL So is he really dead, or is he just screwed? :)
Comment Written 24-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2012
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I've got another story up that's called ASSASSIN that might help. Thank you for reviwing. Bill
Comment from 9999pool
Now if the readers didn't see the supernatural character in the story, a re-read is necessary, LOL. To the Chinese, the soul of a dead person will float around for 7 days before it goes to hell or heaven. The hiding spirit is nothing new. Edgar was already dead and the brothers and sister came to bid him his last farewell as the waiting motorcade will take Edgar and deposit him into the hiding place forever - his grave. Nice story with a twist and turning hiding as in death. Good prose and writing. The story was sweet and simple - good for reviewers as less time taken to review this story, LOL. I liked. Cheers. Richard.
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2012
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Now if the readers didn't see the supernatural character in the story, a re-read is necessary, LOL. To the Chinese, the soul of a dead person will float around for 7 days before it goes to hell or heaven. The hiding spirit is nothing new. Edgar was already dead and the brothers and sister came to bid him his last farewell as the waiting motorcade will take Edgar and deposit him into the hiding place forever - his grave. Nice story with a twist and turning hiding as in death. Good prose and writing. The story was sweet and simple - good for reviewers as less time taken to review this story, LOL. I liked. Cheers. Richard.
Comment Written 24-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2012
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Thank you for your kind and encouraging review. Bill
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Welcome Bill. Thx for sharing. Richard.
Comment from tinams
This is a very interesting story and a very worthy entry to the Supernatural Flash Fiction writing prompt and I wish you luck :) Tina
reply by the author on 29-May-2012
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This is a very interesting story and a very worthy entry to the Supernatural Flash Fiction writing prompt and I wish you luck :) Tina
Comment Written 29-May-2012
reply by the author on 29-May-2012
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Thank you for your encouraging review.
Comment from xxjsfuncxxxity
Great piece. Very original and authentic. The dialogue was great and the characters totally believable and engaging. Especially loved the ''surprise ending''
great work, keep going...
cheers
js
reply by the author on 29-May-2012
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Great piece. Very original and authentic. The dialogue was great and the characters totally believable and engaging. Especially loved the ''surprise ending''
great work, keep going...
cheers
js
Comment Written 29-May-2012
reply by the author on 29-May-2012
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Thank you for your encouraging review.
Comment from Sally Carter
Wow, that is one creepy story!
I really didn't "get" the scene on first read through, but once I got to the end and realised what was happening, I returned to the beginning and found so much you had cleverly woven in which I missed first time round.
What I particularly like about this story is that (for me, at least) the reader is left with some enigmas. And I don't mind that at all!
Where had he been hiding all those years? a real hiding, or a spiritual hiding? And what is the back story about Ralphy? Edgar seems to have no fear of the grave. Is he already dead? The use of "shallow" intrigued me, as if they might all be spirits risen from graves. Quite fascinating.
With such a rich array of characters and possibilities, could this form part of a novel??
Very enjoyable, and good luck in the contest.
Sally
reply by the author on 28-May-2012
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Wow, that is one creepy story!
I really didn't "get" the scene on first read through, but once I got to the end and realised what was happening, I returned to the beginning and found so much you had cleverly woven in which I missed first time round.
What I particularly like about this story is that (for me, at least) the reader is left with some enigmas. And I don't mind that at all!
Where had he been hiding all those years? a real hiding, or a spiritual hiding? And what is the back story about Ralphy? Edgar seems to have no fear of the grave. Is he already dead? The use of "shallow" intrigued me, as if they might all be spirits risen from graves. Quite fascinating.
With such a rich array of characters and possibilities, could this form part of a novel??
Very enjoyable, and good luck in the contest.
Sally
Comment Written 28-May-2012
reply by the author on 28-May-2012
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Thank you for your insightful and encouraging review. It means a great deal to me to have this read with such care.
