Journey to eternal book
Its all about my life journey in disguise.4 total reviews
Comment from Frank Atwood
Lalat Indu Misra, I was going through and reading some of my fan's works and I read this and like it very much. When one finds true peace and the one and only God, they will learn a truth many will never grasp. This world is Hell, and many pray to Satan and don't even know it. We all suffer in one way or the other though I can never fill your shoes or you mine, we both understand the peace within us that is dying to get out. That peace come upon me for an entire week many years ago, with a light that was heavy ladened with a love that can't be described. A voice called my name and the love within that voice was also laden with love that can't be described. For that entire week, I was at peace with all the world and those upon it. Then, he returned me back to this world and my learning began. Now I know why I call him Father as no other name fits. No matter what our trials are in this world, keep at peace with all around you and judge none, for you can't go wrong. I liked this poem and wish I had of seen it sooner.
Any truth is always worth a six in my book. Thus truth is rare in a world going mad. God bless.
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Lalat Indu Misra, I was going through and reading some of my fan's works and I read this and like it very much. When one finds true peace and the one and only God, they will learn a truth many will never grasp. This world is Hell, and many pray to Satan and don't even know it. We all suffer in one way or the other though I can never fill your shoes or you mine, we both understand the peace within us that is dying to get out. That peace come upon me for an entire week many years ago, with a light that was heavy ladened with a love that can't be described. A voice called my name and the love within that voice was also laden with love that can't be described. For that entire week, I was at peace with all the world and those upon it. Then, he returned me back to this world and my learning began. Now I know why I call him Father as no other name fits. No matter what our trials are in this world, keep at peace with all around you and judge none, for you can't go wrong. I liked this poem and wish I had of seen it sooner.
Any truth is always worth a six in my book. Thus truth is rare in a world going mad. God bless.
Comment Written 31-Oct-2012
Comment from THEHISTORYMAKER
Although the poem has excellent content, it lacks correct grammar. I expect if you wrote it in your own language it would be excellent.
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Although the poem has excellent content, it lacks correct grammar. I expect if you wrote it in your own language it would be excellent.
Comment Written 28-Oct-2012
Comment from Sehrish Maqsood
Hello! You have described your feelings about your carrier and I really wish that your troubles come to end! Nice poem colorless though.
All the best!
Sehrish.
reply by the author on 12-May-2012
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Hello! You have described your feelings about your carrier and I really wish that your troubles come to end! Nice poem colorless though.
All the best!
Sehrish.
Comment Written 12-May-2012
reply by the author on 12-May-2012
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Thanks Mr.Sehrish Maqsood,I appreciate your review comments.
L.I.Misra(Cuttack City,India)
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Excuse me? You wrote Mr, for me when I am a female. Why?
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I am extremly sorry for the prefix.I had already appolised for that in your profile message.Still i once again appolzise for the mistake and thanks for the message.
Regards
L.I.Misra
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Oh that's ok! I have recieved your apology and answered on profile!
Comment from Taurean Monkey
Hi, I like your poem. I read it first and then went back and saw that it's a contest entry for a Haiku (or, from my understanding, a poem consisting of 3 lines: line one has 5 syllables, line 2 has 7 syllables and line three has 5 syllables). In that respect, your poem would have been better if you entered it under a different category.
Lovely rhythm and rhyme in stanza one. The first line in stanza two is a little short and so, for me, affects the rhythm of the rest of the stanza (also, I think you mean 'Of late...' not 'off late...').
I like stanza three.
Stanza four - days are 'tough' do you mean or are you deliberately using slang (colloquialism)? Line two is a little long and you could probably delete 'everyday' to shorten it? I may be wrong, but, phonetically, future and nurture do not rhyme.
Your final stanza: God, oh God, show me the path... and your last line I really like the sentiment you've expressed here. Oh, actually, I read it the wrong way round. I read it as you're working tirelessly now so that you can lounge with ease later! Sorry. I think you've summed up the challenges you've faced/are facing in life well in your poem; it's just not a 5-7-5 poem. In any other category, I'd have probably rated it a 4 star - sorry! Kind regards TMonkey
reply by the author on 12-May-2012
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Hi, I like your poem. I read it first and then went back and saw that it's a contest entry for a Haiku (or, from my understanding, a poem consisting of 3 lines: line one has 5 syllables, line 2 has 7 syllables and line three has 5 syllables). In that respect, your poem would have been better if you entered it under a different category.
Lovely rhythm and rhyme in stanza one. The first line in stanza two is a little short and so, for me, affects the rhythm of the rest of the stanza (also, I think you mean 'Of late...' not 'off late...').
I like stanza three.
Stanza four - days are 'tough' do you mean or are you deliberately using slang (colloquialism)? Line two is a little long and you could probably delete 'everyday' to shorten it? I may be wrong, but, phonetically, future and nurture do not rhyme.
Your final stanza: God, oh God, show me the path... and your last line I really like the sentiment you've expressed here. Oh, actually, I read it the wrong way round. I read it as you're working tirelessly now so that you can lounge with ease later! Sorry. I think you've summed up the challenges you've faced/are facing in life well in your poem; it's just not a 5-7-5 poem. In any other category, I'd have probably rated it a 4 star - sorry! Kind regards TMonkey
Comment Written 12-May-2012
reply by the author on 12-May-2012
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hello Taurean, I appreciate your guidelines and I am grateful that you guided my poem with excellent guidelines and expressed me.I shall try to rectify my flaws.The line -days are "Tough" is not a slang.Its a pain from the soul which evolvs out while facing the trouble.Any how I am happy with your review.
Thanks a lot
L.I.Misra(Cuttack,India)
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Thanks for replying Lalat Indu Misra, and thanks for explaining what 'tuff' means. Kind regards, TMonkey
