Nothing Good
Ambulance in the middle of the night76 total reviews
Comment from elgone
Your story is very well written. It is effectively compelling because it feels real. You have done an excellent job of conveying that, even to the descriptions of the neighbors and what they are wearing.
E
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2012
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Your story is very well written. It is effectively compelling because it feels real. You have done an excellent job of conveying that, even to the descriptions of the neighbors and what they are wearing.
E
Comment Written 29-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2012
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Thank you, E. I'm glad my essay resonated with you. Peace, Lee
Comment from Permelia
I am so sorry you lost your mother. My husband and I live alone- but my children phone long distance every day to make sure I am find. I am afraid the firemen and paramedics visit me a bout every four months to take me to the ER. My neighbors never come out-one family did the first time. I have all new neighbors who really don't want to know anyone now. when we first moved here, I knew every family- and was grandma and took care of all their children in emergencies. Occasionally even though they are now in college- a few come back to see "Grandma."
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2012
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I am so sorry you lost your mother. My husband and I live alone- but my children phone long distance every day to make sure I am find. I am afraid the firemen and paramedics visit me a bout every four months to take me to the ER. My neighbors never come out-one family did the first time. I have all new neighbors who really don't want to know anyone now. when we first moved here, I knew every family- and was grandma and took care of all their children in emergencies. Occasionally even though they are now in college- a few come back to see "Grandma."
Comment Written 29-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2012
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Thank you, Permelia. I'm delighted you enjoyed my essay. I'm glad it resonated with you. Peace, Lee
Comment from Spiritual Echo
That was as real as it gets.
Amazing, actually, for the experienced, those who have had to live through crises, and in your case, complete devotion, how the sights and sounds of a midnight emergency response can trigger an intense personal reaction.
I'm sure neither Dick or Jack have ever experienced this situation.
There's something profoundly moving about you standing in the shadows, drawn to the scene, but maintaining a neutrality in your emotional response. Neither a rubber-necker, nor a voyeur, your vigilence on that night quite likely gave Mr. Fatal a sense of having a sentry.
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2012
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That was as real as it gets.
Amazing, actually, for the experienced, those who have had to live through crises, and in your case, complete devotion, how the sights and sounds of a midnight emergency response can trigger an intense personal reaction.
I'm sure neither Dick or Jack have ever experienced this situation.
There's something profoundly moving about you standing in the shadows, drawn to the scene, but maintaining a neutrality in your emotional response. Neither a rubber-necker, nor a voyeur, your vigilence on that night quite likely gave Mr. Fatal a sense of having a sentry.
Comment Written 29-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2012
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Thank you, Ingrid. The sight of an ambulance in front of someone else's house filled me with conflicting emotions---relief not the least of them. Thanks for a great review. Peace, Lee
Comment from bulbul
This piece offered a different glimpse into your skills as a writer. The story pulsates with real life. the way it really feels in such a circumstance. The neighbours, so different, so well represented with such few words(the dialogue) and the ending, which brigs the account to such a meaningful close. Best of luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2012
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This piece offered a different glimpse into your skills as a writer. The story pulsates with real life. the way it really feels in such a circumstance. The neighbours, so different, so well represented with such few words(the dialogue) and the ending, which brigs the account to such a meaningful close. Best of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 29-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2012
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Thank you, bulbul. I really appreciate your insightful read. Peace, Lee
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You're most welcome. bulbul
Comment from adewpearl
I laid there with wide eyes - lay there - past tense of lie
excellent use of high-impact verbs to add to the power and tone of this scene with verbs like shrugged, shuffled
tingle, grab...
I knew mom's death - Mom's
excellent phrase in the night gawkers' vigil
Love the alliterative questions - clusters of concern or cliques of curiosity
You do a compelling job of linking this event with memories of ambulance calls for your gravely ill mother
Excellent dialogue with the fellow night gawker
Art, know why they were fighting? - add comma for direct address
caught up with his wife, who was strapped
compelling observation when Mr. Fatal, quite the name, by the way, waved to the assembled crowd
How poignant when you wanted to share the reminder list of what to take to the hospital, which you knew from your own experience
A moving moment when you realize it's time to bag up Mom's clothes
This is a most poignant way to close your series, Lee. You've made me cry again, by the way, which is a good thing. Brooke
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2012
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I laid there with wide eyes - lay there - past tense of lie
excellent use of high-impact verbs to add to the power and tone of this scene with verbs like shrugged, shuffled
tingle, grab...
I knew mom's death - Mom's
excellent phrase in the night gawkers' vigil
Love the alliterative questions - clusters of concern or cliques of curiosity
You do a compelling job of linking this event with memories of ambulance calls for your gravely ill mother
Excellent dialogue with the fellow night gawker
Art, know why they were fighting? - add comma for direct address
caught up with his wife, who was strapped
compelling observation when Mr. Fatal, quite the name, by the way, waved to the assembled crowd
How poignant when you wanted to share the reminder list of what to take to the hospital, which you knew from your own experience
A moving moment when you realize it's time to bag up Mom's clothes
This is a most poignant way to close your series, Lee. You've made me cry again, by the way, which is a good thing. Brooke
Comment Written 29-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2012
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Brooke, thank you so much. I appreciate the words, the stars, and the spag alerts. Peace, Lee
Comment from Bobbi22
This is a very well written story telling of the empathy felt for the neighbors in trouble after you had so many like experiences. The curiosity and concern is probably always there with each ambulance stopping in the neighborhood. Question is how much is true concern and how much is just curiosity. I am sorry to hear of your mom's passing.
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2012
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This is a very well written story telling of the empathy felt for the neighbors in trouble after you had so many like experiences. The curiosity and concern is probably always there with each ambulance stopping in the neighborhood. Question is how much is true concern and how much is just curiosity. I am sorry to hear of your mom's passing.
Comment Written 29-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2012
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Thank you, RightPics, for the review, and your kind words. Peace, Lee
Comment from LilHippie
Very well written. Very good dialogue between the annoying neighbor and her. People really do indulge in this behavior also. Your story is really not about this though, it is about the cycle of life. Moving on. Sorry about your Mom. Lost mine in 1991, and my Dad in 1984. It is tough. It hurts. We are orphans then. No one will love us quite that way again. This is a very appealing story, starting out about the neighbor and concern for why an ambulance is needed. Then it is about the callousness of others. And finally we find out why you had no patience for him making it a game to bet on. You know how it feels, that loss. Very well done. Wait, this could be fiction, sorry, so well written I assumed it happened. Either way a great read.
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2012
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Very well written. Very good dialogue between the annoying neighbor and her. People really do indulge in this behavior also. Your story is really not about this though, it is about the cycle of life. Moving on. Sorry about your Mom. Lost mine in 1991, and my Dad in 1984. It is tough. It hurts. We are orphans then. No one will love us quite that way again. This is a very appealing story, starting out about the neighbor and concern for why an ambulance is needed. Then it is about the callousness of others. And finally we find out why you had no patience for him making it a game to bet on. You know how it feels, that loss. Very well done. Wait, this could be fiction, sorry, so well written I assumed it happened. Either way a great read.
Comment Written 29-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2012
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Thank you, LilHippie. Yes, this scene did happen pretty much as I describe. I appreciate your insightful read and review. Peace, Lee
Comment from ennahanid
Your Non-Fiction contest entry is unbelievably moving, to me anyhow. The voice is just right...a slow sadness that seeps through your lines and this reader feels that and it brought a tear for your loss and for your neighbor and his wife for whom the ambulance was for.
This really did touch...Dinah
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2012
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Your Non-Fiction contest entry is unbelievably moving, to me anyhow. The voice is just right...a slow sadness that seeps through your lines and this reader feels that and it brought a tear for your loss and for your neighbor and his wife for whom the ambulance was for.
This really did touch...Dinah
Comment Written 29-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2012
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Thank you so much, Dinah. I'm glad you mentioned the slow pace. I almost felt as if I was sleepwalking at the time. Thank you again. Peace, Lee
Comment from c_lucas
You did a real good job of showing the different personalities that makes up a neighborhood. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words.
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2012
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You did a real good job of showing the different personalities that makes up a neighborhood. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words.
Comment Written 29-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2012
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Charlie, thank you very much. I'm glad you enjoyed. Peace, Lee
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You're welcome, Lee. Charlie
Comment from MumEsGirl
Great write Lee, one that many of us can identify with. I love your expression gawk-cluster. Living in a small town we see this on a regular basis.
Everyone out there with some comment to make on what is happening. It is only when it comes to your own door, that you see how intrusive it is.
Best of luck with this entry
hugs
kate
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2012
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Great write Lee, one that many of us can identify with. I love your expression gawk-cluster. Living in a small town we see this on a regular basis.
Everyone out there with some comment to make on what is happening. It is only when it comes to your own door, that you see how intrusive it is.
Best of luck with this entry
hugs
kate
Comment Written 29-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2012
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Thank you, Kate, for your kind review and insightful comments. Peace, Lee
