Comment from Titanx9

Average

Congratulations on your win. This short story can be better, so I suggest you read it aloud slowly. You don't need to say "really excellent," so delete "really." Also, consider "When I entered, several people started to congratulate me." When you write, minimize the number of gerunds, that is those nouns ending in "ing," as they often hide great action verbs. Nice job!

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 Comment Written 28-Apr-2012

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reply by the author on 28-Apr-2012

Thanks for your time and review. Have a lovely weekend, Ine

Comment from gazzagodbod

Excellent

what a great story my friend never played much squash myself but i did like tennis, great little story thanks my friend gazzagodbodxx

 Comment Written 28-Apr-2012

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reply by the author on 28-Apr-2012

Thanks for your time and review. Have a lovely weekend, Ine. I played some tennis before.

Comment from October21

Excellent

Try not to indent your paragraphs. Other than that, great work. You managed the flash fiction well. However there may be some lines you don't need, or can trim.

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 Comment Written 28-Apr-2012

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reply by the author on 28-Apr-2012

Thanks for your time and review. Have a lovely weekend, Ine. Could you tell me which ones?