Along the Jericho Road
Viewing comments for Chapter 8 "Iwaka Moon"Murder Mystery
47 total reviews
Comment from Titanx9
What a treat it is to read this beautifully written first chapter in what I believe will be a real page turner. You've captured that "inciting event" perfectly with Debra Padget's murder and even in this first chapter the plot is beginning to twist with the confession of someone the sheriff obviously doesn't believe is the killer. Great job!
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2012
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What a treat it is to read this beautifully written first chapter in what I believe will be a real page turner. You've captured that "inciting event" perfectly with Debra Padget's murder and even in this first chapter the plot is beginning to twist with the confession of someone the sheriff obviously doesn't believe is the killer. Great job!
Comment Written 28-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2012
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Thank you so much for your awesome review, Titanx9. Much appreciate your interest and words of support. It's always helpful to know what works for the reader. Warm regards, Bev
Comment from Maureen's Pen
Oh boy this one has lots of suspense and uncertainty.
It's setting a strong pace with characters and mystery well balanced.
I liked that the rosary was picked up as "missing", I hadn't thought of the other types of religious items like pictures or cross above the bed. But now that its brought up in this post I can almost see the scene again in my mind.
Very well done Bev...didn't notice anything that was off. It had a great sense of smooth reading and I found you still held me captive from beginning to end...and I'm looking forward to the next post.
Thanks for sharing. Great reading:)
Maureen
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2012
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Oh boy this one has lots of suspense and uncertainty.
It's setting a strong pace with characters and mystery well balanced.
I liked that the rosary was picked up as "missing", I hadn't thought of the other types of religious items like pictures or cross above the bed. But now that its brought up in this post I can almost see the scene again in my mind.
Very well done Bev...didn't notice anything that was off. It had a great sense of smooth reading and I found you still held me captive from beginning to end...and I'm looking forward to the next post.
Thanks for sharing. Great reading:)
Maureen
Comment Written 28-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2012
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Hiya, beautiful! Thank you, Maureen, for your lovely review and words of support for the chapter. I really appreciate you staying with the story! Hugs, Bev
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If it gets really scary and gory I may be hiding behind a cushion:)
Sap that I am....sigh
Hugs
Maureen
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Nah, I'm going to keep gory to a minimum - now scary I can't promise! Xxx Bev
Comment from Gungalo
Things are really heating up for the poor father eh. Well at least he has decided to take the police up on their offer and have some protection brought in.
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2012
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Things are really heating up for the poor father eh. Well at least he has decided to take the police up on their offer and have some protection brought in.
Comment Written 28-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2012
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Thanks so much, Gungalo. I really appreciate this awesome review and your continued support. Warm regards, Bev
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I'm really going to like this one girl.
Comment from TammyGail
Writingfundimension this was a great chapter
Very well written and expressed
You kept my att with your storyline
It was interesting and clever
loved your closing can't wait to read part two
Thanks for sharing
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2012
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Writingfundimension this was a great chapter
Very well written and expressed
You kept my att with your storyline
It was interesting and clever
loved your closing can't wait to read part two
Thanks for sharing
Comment Written 28-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2012
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Thank you so much, Tammy. I really appreciate your interest and support for the chaper. Lots more action to come! Warmest regards, Bev
Comment from Rob Caudle
Bev, another superbly written chapter. I loved the pup pausing before his dinner. A soft moment in intense story. Well done my friend. It is a pleasure to read your work. Your pace keeps me reading and wanting more as I have said before this is a book that would find its way to my house a great read
Rob
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2012
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Bev, another superbly written chapter. I loved the pup pausing before his dinner. A soft moment in intense story. Well done my friend. It is a pleasure to read your work. Your pace keeps me reading and wanting more as I have said before this is a book that would find its way to my house a great read
Rob
Comment Written 28-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2012
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Thank you so very much for your extremely generous stars and support, Rob. Your words give me the encouragement I need when I sit down to write. I cannot thank you enough for that! Warmest regards, Bev
Comment from judiverse
You've got the suspense going in this one, Bev. I like the way you add interesting little details such as the beginning with the Sheltie and its pause before eating as if in prayer. I also liked the reference to Sheriff Kane as one of your sheriff's heroes. He seems to be sensitive and has feelings about the cases he's investigating. You bring in the interesting information about Debra's home not having any religious items. Father Brian is wise to take Sheriff up on the offer of police protection, as he seems to have knowledge of who the killer is. Great writing. judi
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reply by the author on 28-Apr-2012
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You've got the suspense going in this one, Bev. I like the way you add interesting little details such as the beginning with the Sheltie and its pause before eating as if in prayer. I also liked the reference to Sheriff Kane as one of your sheriff's heroes. He seems to be sensitive and has feelings about the cases he's investigating. You bring in the interesting information about Debra's home not having any religious items. Father Brian is wise to take Sheriff up on the offer of police protection, as he seems to have knowledge of who the killer is. Great writing. judi
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 28-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2012
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Thanks my faithful friend. I really appreciate your sticking with this 'novel', and am glad you found the chapter interesting. Can you tell I'm a dog lover? So appreciate your generous support, judi. Hugs, Bev
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So many authors include dogs in their stories. Robert Parker I think of right now. Adds "human" interest. judi
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Have you read any of the Chet and Bernie series? They are really good mysteries and great writing.
Xxx Bev
Comment from barbara.wilkey
This is another good post. I enjoyed reading it. You are doing a good job with the characters.
"Hello ..." Norma, the parish secretary cut in excitedly, (adverb by the verb, excitedly cut in)
"That snotty, hot-pants T.V. anchor, is making our Sheriff look like an incompetent boob. (omit comma after anchor)
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2012
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This is another good post. I enjoyed reading it. You are doing a good job with the characters.
"Hello ..." Norma, the parish secretary cut in excitedly, (adverb by the verb, excitedly cut in)
"That snotty, hot-pants T.V. anchor, is making our Sheriff look like an incompetent boob. (omit comma after anchor)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 28-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2012
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Hello, barbara. Thanks for following along, and for your generous review of the chapter. I decided to cut the adverb completely, and made the other correction. Thanks for the help! Bev
