Along the Jericho Road
Viewing comments for Chapter 8 "Iwaka Moon"Murder Mystery
47 total reviews
Comment from tinams
This is a very well written post, with a smooth flow of words, and very good imagery. The whole storyline is very interesting :) Tina
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2012
  |
This is a very well written post, with a smooth flow of words, and very good imagery. The whole storyline is very interesting :) Tina
Comment Written 29-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2012
-
Thank you so much, Tina. I really apprciate your generous review. Warm regards, Bev
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
A mostintriguing, absorbing chapter, Bev.
You keep the tension flowing and leave the
reader wanting more. I can't believe the
priest is involved.
A most impressive write, with no spags, which
make it such a pleasure to read.
Persian - Cap P
Margaret
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2012
|
A mostintriguing, absorbing chapter, Bev.
You keep the tension flowing and leave the
reader wanting more. I can't believe the
priest is involved.
A most impressive write, with no spags, which
make it such a pleasure to read.
Persian - Cap P
Margaret
Comment Written 29-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2012
-
Thank you so much for the excellent review, Margaret. I sure do appreciate your great feedback and support. Warm regards, Bev
Comment from InterestingRon
Hi Bev
A great continuation of your absorbing story.
I found the remarks about the missing? religious artifacts in Debra's room intriguing. Hints of something strange going on.
Sorry, machine will not allow me to give you a six.
Ron xox
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2012
|
Hi Bev
A great continuation of your absorbing story.
I found the remarks about the missing? religious artifacts in Debra's room intriguing. Hints of something strange going on.
Sorry, machine will not allow me to give you a six.
Ron xox
Comment Written 29-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2012
-
Thank you so much, Ron. I really appreciate your excellent and supportive review. What's an extra star among friends LOL. Seriously, your support and faithfulness mean so much, I hope you know! Xxx Bev
Comment from bookishfabler
Awesome. I loved it. The story is captivating and carries the reader quickly through each chapter. Here are few suggestions I hope will be helpful.
Father Brian's dog, Alyx, was upright on his back legs and boxing the air with his front paws when the priest entered the kitchen. Here you could probaly say (stood upright) rather than was.
He bent over it without touching it until he was sure it was a caller known to him. (problbly get rid of one "it" the first, I think.)
This is a very little nit, but most people when speaking, talk quickly, so here instead of I will you may use I'll
Let everyone know that (I will) be the one to conduct the interview. And, Jana, smart move to call me."
(Of course it depends on the personality)
hugs Heidi
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2012
|
Awesome. I loved it. The story is captivating and carries the reader quickly through each chapter. Here are few suggestions I hope will be helpful.
Father Brian's dog, Alyx, was upright on his back legs and boxing the air with his front paws when the priest entered the kitchen. Here you could probaly say (stood upright) rather than was.
He bent over it without touching it until he was sure it was a caller known to him. (problbly get rid of one "it" the first, I think.)
This is a very little nit, but most people when speaking, talk quickly, so here instead of I will you may use I'll
Let everyone know that (I will) be the one to conduct the interview. And, Jana, smart move to call me."
(Of course it depends on the personality)
hugs Heidi
Comment Written 29-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2012
-
Great suggestions, Heidi. I really appreciate you taking time to read my chapter and send along your excellent review. Means a lot to me! Hugs, Bev
Comment from pickthorn
A very suspenseful story that is well written, compelling, with a who done it flavor. I suspect Father Brian is either the culprit or an accomplice. Great work.
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2012
|
A very suspenseful story that is well written, compelling, with a who done it flavor. I suspect Father Brian is either the culprit or an accomplice. Great work.
Comment Written 29-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2012
-
Hi, pickthorn. Thank you for your great review - I sure appreciate the support! Warm regards, Bev
Comment from jadapenn
Hi Bev, a good progression to the story. I'm dying to know about the missing photos. I have to start wondering, but I'll leave it up to you. lol. I loved the interrogation and then breaking off at the crucial moment. Well done. luv jada
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2012
|
Hi Bev, a good progression to the story. I'm dying to know about the missing photos. I have to start wondering, but I'll leave it up to you. lol. I loved the interrogation and then breaking off at the crucial moment. Well done. luv jada
Comment Written 29-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2012
-
Hi, jada. Thanks for reading my chapter and sending along your supportive, excellent review. I really appreciate it! Hugs, Bev
Comment from misscookie
I enjoyed reading this chapter very much.
And I like how your story moves.
You had my attention from the first line to the last andI thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2012
|
I enjoyed reading this chapter very much.
And I like how your story moves.
You had my attention from the first line to the last andI thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 29-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2012
-
Thanks so much, misscookie. Your faithful reading of my chapters is so very much appreciated. Blessings, Bev
-
My pleasure, have a nice day
Comment from robina1978
I can't really see how the priest can be involved in this. Maybe somebody is setting him up. You keep the tension still up in every chapter. Wonder where it will lead to.
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2012
|
I can't really see how the priest can be involved in this. Maybe somebody is setting him up. You keep the tension still up in every chapter. Wonder where it will lead to.
Comment Written 29-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2012
-
Hi, Ine. I'm glad that you believe in Father Brian. That makes two of us! Thank you for the excellent review, my friend. Warm regards, Bev
Comment from katmckeown
I have not read previous chapters but it appears that you are well on the way to revealing a plot that is both complex and satisfying.
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2012
|
I have not read previous chapters but it appears that you are well on the way to revealing a plot that is both complex and satisfying.
Comment Written 29-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2012
-
Hi, katmckeown. It's got a few twists and turns yet to come, but hope to bring it all to a satisfying conclusion as you so well state. Thanks for your excellent review, I much appreciate your interest. Bev
Comment from wordsfromsue
You had my full attention once again! I could go on reading your story all night. :-)
Really good chapter. I love the little touches you gave the dog, the suggestion that he was giving thanks is a keeper. :-)
Good scene details with the meal the men shared.
This story is really engrossing. :-)
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2012
|
You had my full attention once again! I could go on reading your story all night. :-)
Really good chapter. I love the little touches you gave the dog, the suggestion that he was giving thanks is a keeper. :-)
Good scene details with the meal the men shared.
This story is really engrossing. :-)
Comment Written 29-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2012
-
Sue, thank you so much for this awesome review. You lift my spirits with your words. I really appreciate that - and you! Warm regards, Bev
