Dark Shadows
Viewing comments for Chapter 12 "Dora-Max6"A collection of short stories and flash fiction
15 total reviews
Comment from Juliette Chamberlain
I'd forgotten that you had told me that the spelling would deteriorate about half way down. Consequently I had half a page of spelling errors before I remembered.LOL
That is a very effective way of illustrating loss of facilty function.
You have made this chapter sound interesting. My only concern would be if perhaps this whole 'dawn of the dead'
scenario hasn't been overworked.
I will look out for the next chapter.
Juliette
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2010
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I'd forgotten that you had told me that the spelling would deteriorate about half way down. Consequently I had half a page of spelling errors before I remembered.LOL
That is a very effective way of illustrating loss of facilty function.
You have made this chapter sound interesting. My only concern would be if perhaps this whole 'dawn of the dead'
scenario hasn't been overworked.
I will look out for the next chapter.
Juliette
Comment Written 27-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2010
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I am so glad that you took the time to review this! And yes, the 'dawn of the dead' scenario has been bled to death lol but I couldn't help it. The good thing is that this piece is a stand alone - just a short story writen in an attempt to wile away the time. If you would be interested in reading some work that doesn't revolve around zombies, I would be honored to know what you think of my latest piece, Remember.
Thanks again for dusting off this old piece and giving it a measure of life again :-)
Comment from Alexander3571
this was a excellent piece! Very terrifying and gripping! Loved the deliberate SPAG which I guess really isn't SPAG at all! Keep up the good writing my friend
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2008
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this was a excellent piece! Very terrifying and gripping! Loved the deliberate SPAG which I guess really isn't SPAG at all! Keep up the good writing my friend
Comment Written 20-Mar-2008
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2008
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O' WOW! Thank you so much! I am glad that you enjoyed my story :-)
Comment from crazy gemini
Loved your story. I was reading, dying to know what was going to happen. It's very scary because we know that one day this is likely to happen. I liked the fact that it was a character in the story that was writing it.
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2008
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Loved your story. I was reading, dying to know what was going to happen. It's very scary because we know that one day this is likely to happen. I liked the fact that it was a character in the story that was writing it.
Comment Written 11-Mar-2008
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2008
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Thank you so much for stopping in to read and review my story! I am thrilled that I was able to drag you through thr nightmare and then leave you pondering the possibilities that such a thing might really happen (not the zombies lol but chemical warfare).
Comment from cindy g
The spelling did throw me when I first noticed it. I wrote down the first few like veering of{off} and russhed {rushed} and then a light bulb ignited. A well written piece and a suspenceful read. Thanks!
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2007
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The spelling did throw me when I first noticed it. I wrote down the first few like veering of{off} and russhed {rushed} and then a light bulb ignited. A well written piece and a suspenceful read. Thanks!
Comment Written 20-Jul-2007
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2007
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WOW... I'm so glad that this one hasn't disapeared into the ethers :-) I thank you for taking the time to breathe life into an older work!
Comment from auspicious76
You know, I reviewed the other comments on this piece before I decided to read it (cheating, I know). I rather liked it and on the whole thought it was very well planned out. Yes, it's been done over and over.... but you did a good job of bringing it to life.
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You know, I reviewed the other comments on this piece before I decided to read it (cheating, I know). I rather liked it and on the whole thought it was very well planned out. Yes, it's been done over and over.... but you did a good job of bringing it to life.
Comment Written 03-Jul-2007
Comment from driven
This was good; I had intended to do something similar (but not the same) but you took it in a whole new direction. The story moved along nicely, with a good pace. I thought the misspelling towards the end was a nice device to use. I look forward to reading the rest! NIce job.
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This was good; I had intended to do something similar (but not the same) but you took it in a whole new direction. The story moved along nicely, with a good pace. I thought the misspelling towards the end was a nice device to use. I look forward to reading the rest! NIce job.
Comment Written 18-Feb-2005
Comment from Koko_BC
Excellent story. There are a few typos, you have spelt respiratory incorrectly. The deteriorating language as the illness progressed for the scientist was very effective.
Attorneys at Law or Attorney's. I think it is the former...good job! :)
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Excellent story. There are a few typos, you have spelt respiratory incorrectly. The deteriorating language as the illness progressed for the scientist was very effective.
Attorneys at Law or Attorney's. I think it is the former...good job! :)
Comment Written 18-Feb-2005
Comment from ladykay
Hi Ricouard,
Take a real flu-virus situation, mix it with a touch of Robert Ludlum and shake it but not stir it and what do you get?
A cracker of a short contest story.
I mean it! You can work on it and send it to those thriller agents!
good work.
ladykay
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Hi Ricouard,
Take a real flu-virus situation, mix it with a touch of Robert Ludlum and shake it but not stir it and what do you get?
A cracker of a short contest story.
I mean it! You can work on it and send it to those thriller agents!
good work.
ladykay
Comment Written 16-Feb-2005
Comment from B.C. Bender
I enjoyed the story very much, there was only an instant where the spelling
threw me, but that's because, "it's what we get paid for!" "lol." But then you realize, that is how it would be for whomever finds that document.
Your quite the story-teller, good luck.
Best Wishes, B.C.Bender
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I enjoyed the story very much, there was only an instant where the spelling
threw me, but that's because, "it's what we get paid for!" "lol." But then you realize, that is how it would be for whomever finds that document.
Your quite the story-teller, good luck.
Best Wishes, B.C.Bender
Comment Written 15-Feb-2005
Comment from CarolinasAngel
I like the plot a lot (hey a rhyme!) However I think this would much improved it you could expand it some. Maybe a serious such as would be listed in "books" this would be a great way to tell the whole story and add some imagery.
Overall I really enjoyed this a lot.
keep writing, you do it well.
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I like the plot a lot (hey a rhyme!) However I think this would much improved it you could expand it some. Maybe a serious such as would be listed in "books" this would be a great way to tell the whole story and add some imagery.
Overall I really enjoyed this a lot.
keep writing, you do it well.
Comment Written 14-Feb-2005
