Comment from hollyinvesuvianite

Excellent

I think that this is a lovely thought- very simple and sweet! And whether on believe in God or not, we all ponder what will happen after this life. The only thing is that the last line is one too many syllables and you could enhance the piece with a selection of artwork or a photograph from your computer or from the fanart section of this site. Good luck in the contest! holly

 Comment Written 16-Apr-2012

Comment from Cobalt Blue

Average

Uhhh...there are six syllables in the third line which means this is not a good entry for a 5-7-5 contest. You need to do something about that because there is an extra syllable hanging out there.

 Comment Written 16-Apr-2012

Comment from snowflakes77

Excellent

Hi Aaron this is a very good 5-7-5. It was interesting and kept my attention. Nicely written. Just one thing that I saw needs to be adjusted.
You wrote:
Looking in their eyes - 5
Never forgetting their love - 7
They will never let go - 6

So the last line has one more syllable than is allowed for a true 5-7-5. This is an easy fix so I'm rating you 5 Stars. Good luck in the contest! :)

 Comment Written 16-Apr-2012