Lonely Hearts Meet
Viewing comments for Chapter 62 "part one, Chapter 19"Anna and her son escape from a man-made Hell.
78 total reviews
Comment from gramalot8
Barbara, another hard chapter to read. I can't imagine what it would be like to go through something like this. It must be kind of hard to write about. Hopefully Bobby has been shot and Anna is ok per the ending of this sad chapter. Jerri
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2012
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Barbara, another hard chapter to read. I can't imagine what it would be like to go through something like this. It must be kind of hard to write about. Hopefully Bobby has been shot and Anna is ok per the ending of this sad chapter. Jerri
Comment Written 17-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Allison78
Of course, you have written another wonderful chapter! You have really kept me in suspense and left me wanting more each time I read another chapter. I really admire you for shedding light on this difficult and all to real problem. Well done!
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2012
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Of course, you have written another wonderful chapter! You have really kept me in suspense and left me wanting more each time I read another chapter. I really admire you for shedding light on this difficult and all to real problem. Well done!
Comment Written 17-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from RebelRose
I hope I am correct in assuming he fell against her because he was dead. They finally got a good shot at him. This is a really good chapter and I look forward to reading more.
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2012
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I hope I am correct in assuming he fell against her because he was dead. They finally got a good shot at him. This is a really good chapter and I look forward to reading more.
Comment Written 16-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from The Stranger
I was rather wondering if this would be the scenario, as we so often see this happen in day to day life, you have indeed brought an important side of an ugly society to the fore
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2012
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I was rather wondering if this would be the scenario, as we so often see this happen in day to day life, you have indeed brought an important side of an ugly society to the fore
Comment Written 16-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Kingsland
This is romance fiction. I must have missed a whole lot in this story. This is more like thuggery in motions of bad attitudes. I really enjoyed reading this chapter in your continuing story. I had excellent imagery in it, as I could see what was happening in my mind as i was reading... John
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2012
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This is romance fiction. I must have missed a whole lot in this story. This is more like thuggery in motions of bad attitudes. I really enjoyed reading this chapter in your continuing story. I had excellent imagery in it, as I could see what was happening in my mind as i was reading... John
Comment Written 16-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2012
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Thank you for popping over and reading my post. I appreciate it. Although it's romantic fiction, it's also about an abused spouse. She's divorced from this creep, but she still can't get him out of her life.
Comment from donaldww
As you mentioned in the author notes, I am one of those that hasn't read any other part of this novel.
Nevertheless, I felt that could comment the writing is clear and you have strong characters.
And they show their colours immediately, (which I liked) with his outrage at having his mother replaced by a new grandmother. I think we sense that it's really his own replacement that is behind the rage. No beating around the bush, and that good. It keeps the story moving.
My take is that Bobby (former hubby or ex) has Anna trapped in a house, I'm guessing their own house, and he is angry to say the least. At the end I wasn't sure if the SWAT team had shot him or if he had tripped and fallen. Maybe that could be clarified.
The following a few thoughts for your consideration.
Bobby is obviously a bad fellow and his dialogue is consistent. He calls her names, etc. But name calling seems to be the only psychological tool he has at his disposal. (No problem with the language. Let'r rip. I've heard worse. LOL).
I was thinking that he could be made to look even more dastardly by having him drag out a few tender moments from their past (even these two must have had some good times) and denigrate those moments in front of the SWAT team.
For example: "So you want it tough? Just like old times, eh? ... You thought you were so great, bitch... yada [ In your words, of course! ]
Excellent.
DW
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2012
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As you mentioned in the author notes, I am one of those that hasn't read any other part of this novel.
Nevertheless, I felt that could comment the writing is clear and you have strong characters.
And they show their colours immediately, (which I liked) with his outrage at having his mother replaced by a new grandmother. I think we sense that it's really his own replacement that is behind the rage. No beating around the bush, and that good. It keeps the story moving.
My take is that Bobby (former hubby or ex) has Anna trapped in a house, I'm guessing their own house, and he is angry to say the least. At the end I wasn't sure if the SWAT team had shot him or if he had tripped and fallen. Maybe that could be clarified.
The following a few thoughts for your consideration.
Bobby is obviously a bad fellow and his dialogue is consistent. He calls her names, etc. But name calling seems to be the only psychological tool he has at his disposal. (No problem with the language. Let'r rip. I've heard worse. LOL).
I was thinking that he could be made to look even more dastardly by having him drag out a few tender moments from their past (even these two must have had some good times) and denigrate those moments in front of the SWAT team.
For example: "So you want it tough? Just like old times, eh? ... You thought you were so great, bitch... yada [ In your words, of course! ]
Excellent.
DW
Comment Written 16-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2012
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Bobby beat Anna from the beginning of their short marriage. This came out earlier. This is the first time Anna has been strong enough to fight back. Bobby has been in prison for beating her up and raping her. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Carolyn Hilliard
Powerful. No extra words, straight out action and conversation to go with. You certainly kept this reader's attention. My only regret - guys like Bobby don't suffer; they just die.
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2012
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Powerful. No extra words, straight out action and conversation to go with. You certainly kept this reader's attention. My only regret - guys like Bobby don't suffer; they just die.
Comment Written 16-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2012
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Thamk you for the kind review and support.
Comment from rama devi
What an intense chapter--so glad this is not the ending --with neither moving-hopefully, Anna's still breathing, right?
This is well written with excellent flow and dialog that enhances characterization. The foul language is harsh but not shocking, given the scene--and it's certainly in character for Bobby. .
I did not notice any nits or spags (but only read through once so might have missed typo).
Can't comment in depth on plot and character development, since I've not been able to keep up with all chapters, but it seems to be done well.
Love, rd
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2012
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What an intense chapter--so glad this is not the ending --with neither moving-hopefully, Anna's still breathing, right?
This is well written with excellent flow and dialog that enhances characterization. The foul language is harsh but not shocking, given the scene--and it's certainly in character for Bobby. .
I did not notice any nits or spags (but only read through once so might have missed typo).
Can't comment in depth on plot and character development, since I've not been able to keep up with all chapters, but it seems to be done well.
Love, rd
Comment Written 16-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2012
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Thank you for stopping by. I appreciate it.
Comment from Auroraboreal800
This was the continuation of a big fight between Bob and Anna. I'm so glad that Anna is taking charge and fighting him herself. There is lot of drama in this chapter.
GREAT JOB!!
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2012
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This was the continuation of a big fight between Bob and Anna. I'm so glad that Anna is taking charge and fighting him herself. There is lot of drama in this chapter.
GREAT JOB!!
Comment Written 16-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Nanashirley
You really put a lot of drama into this chapter. I am so glad you had her fight so hard. I usually don't say this but I hope he isn't dead he deserves way more pain.
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2012
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You really put a lot of drama into this chapter. I am so glad you had her fight so hard. I usually don't say this but I hope he isn't dead he deserves way more pain.
Comment Written 16-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
