Simon and the Snake Charmer
An Alliteration contest entry24 total reviews
Comment from abeetle
Good luck in the contest! Well done!
My favorite parts were:
There is a hint of mouse in the air
Slinking slowly forward intent on the mouse
Simon slips his head into the slipknot snare
Of the old snake charmer
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2012
  |
Good luck in the contest! Well done!
My favorite parts were:
There is a hint of mouse in the air
Slinking slowly forward intent on the mouse
Simon slips his head into the slipknot snare
Of the old snake charmer
Comment Written 20-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2012
-
Thanks for reading and reviewing. I appreciate the many stars.
Comment from EmmaJoAnderson
This doesn't seem to have as much alliteration as it should, but I enjoyed it none the same. I do have to say though, picking S isn't very nice for those of us who Lisp :) I like the detail and imagery in this.
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2012
|
This doesn't seem to have as much alliteration as it should, but I enjoyed it none the same. I do have to say though, picking S isn't very nice for those of us who Lisp :) I like the detail and imagery in this.
Comment Written 20-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2012
-
Thank you for reading and reviewing. I appreciate the feedback.
Comment from anele;)
Fun entry. I can see this being read to kids on a camping trip. Glad you didn't harm any animals in the story! Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2012
 |
Fun entry. I can see this being read to kids on a camping trip. Glad you didn't harm any animals in the story! Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 19-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2012
-
Thank you for reading and reviewing.
Comment from Joy Graham
Hello Mystery Author! Great use of S words. I usually enjoy seeing a picture along with the poem but in this case I am not a snake fan. Best wishes in the contest :)
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2012
|
Hello Mystery Author! Great use of S words. I usually enjoy seeing a picture along with the poem but in this case I am not a snake fan. Best wishes in the contest :)
Comment Written 18-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2012
-
Thank you for reading and reviewing. I appreciate the many stars
Comment from Maria C.
Nice 's' alliteration and story too. Also I am learning a new word. Got to go look up slumgullion. :)
Good luck in the contest.
Blessings,
Maria
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2012
|
Nice 's' alliteration and story too. Also I am learning a new word. Got to go look up slumgullion. :)
Good luck in the contest.
Blessings,
Maria
Comment Written 17-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2012
-
Thank you for reading and reviewing. I appreciate the many stars.
Comment from JennaG
I really enjoyed your poem. Great use of alliteration with the letter "S". I thought the topic was creative and the story made sense all the way through. The ending was great! The imagery you've created was very vivid. I could picture the snake slithering through the grass hunting for his next meal. Great job on this!
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2012
|
I really enjoyed your poem. Great use of alliteration with the letter "S". I thought the topic was creative and the story made sense all the way through. The ending was great! The imagery you've created was very vivid. I could picture the snake slithering through the grass hunting for his next meal. Great job on this!
Comment Written 17-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2012
-
Thank you for reading and reviewing. I appreciate the many stars and the sonderful feedback.
Comment from bard owl
I like the fact that this poem had a moral to it. "Slim and alive is better than fat and slain". How true. You used the "s" words very effectively. Yessss. Best of luck in the contest to you and Simon.
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2012
|
I like the fact that this poem had a moral to it. "Slim and alive is better than fat and slain". How true. You used the "s" words very effectively. Yessss. Best of luck in the contest to you and Simon.
Comment Written 17-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2012
-
Thanks for reading and reviewing. I appreciate the many stars.
Comment from MissMerri
This is a very good alliteration poem, in my opinion. The story is not sacrificed in any way, even though there is an abundance of 's' words throughout. The lines hang together and the story is quite clear and easy to follow. (I thought the poem was required to be at least twenty lines, but I might be mistaken, since I see many poems are less that that. Yours is eighteen.) Good luck with this one. I thought it was quite well-done.
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2012
|
This is a very good alliteration poem, in my opinion. The story is not sacrificed in any way, even though there is an abundance of 's' words throughout. The lines hang together and the story is quite clear and easy to follow. (I thought the poem was required to be at least twenty lines, but I might be mistaken, since I see many poems are less that that. Yours is eighteen.) Good luck with this one. I thought it was quite well-done.
Comment Written 17-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2012
-
Thank you for reading and reviewing. I aoppreciate the many stars and the constructive feedback.
Comment from bowls
A great little story about a slinky snake. I especially like the last stanza that ties things up nicely. Good use of the s sound which simulates a snake's hissing. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2012
|
A great little story about a slinky snake. I especially like the last stanza that ties things up nicely. Good use of the s sound which simulates a snake's hissing. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 17-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2012
-
Thank you for reading and reviewing. I appreciate the many stars.
Comment from RebelRose
slumgullion...now, that's an interesting word. I will consider that my word for the day, LOL. This is a tongue twister but very interesting.
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2012
|
slumgullion...now, that's an interesting word. I will consider that my word for the day, LOL. This is a tongue twister but very interesting.
Comment Written 17-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2012
-
I just had to get slumgullion in there. Thank you for reading and reviewing.
