Comment from jgirlie152

Excellent

This was an enjoyable tale of someone who we all know and don't love all that much. Yes....where do they get that "noive" which most of us could never manage, nor want to. This was written just long enough to hold the interest throughout, and certainly proved a point. I do like the idea of the $50 tip :)
Joan

 Comment Written 05-Apr-2012

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reply by the author on 05-Apr-2012

Hi, Joan. Thank you so much for reading my story! I really appreciate your generous review and support. Happy Easter! Bev

Comment from Frank Atwood

Excellent

Very good. You definitely know how to set your characters up with your mastery of words. The only thing I saw was in one line that reads, -I'm the only (one)- You left out, one. Other than that it's good.

I gave this 5 stars. God bless.

 Comment Written 05-Apr-2012

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reply by the author on 05-Apr-2012

Thanks so much Frank. I appreciate your suggestion for correction and the five stars. Your support is very much appreciated. Bev

Comment from debskatz

Excellent

Hey Writingfundimension,

Sounds like one spoiled chick! But at least the narrator got a $50 tip. That's pretty good. Couldn't find any spag, & it read well.

Thanks for sharing this enjoyable story with us!

smiles,

deb

 Comment Written 05-Apr-2012

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reply by the author on 05-Apr-2012

Thanks so much, deb. I really appreciate your generous review and support for the write. Kind regards, Bev

Comment from N.K. Wagner

Excellent

Think I'd go to Hell for hoping her hair falls out? :D What an obnoxious person. No wonder her Daddy only "fits her in". I might avoid her entirely! Well written, Bev. :) Nancy

 Comment Written 05-Apr-2012

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reply by the author on 05-Apr-2012

Hi, Nancy. Well if you do I'll be there with you! Thanks for taking time to read and review so generously. I really appreciate the support. Say, how's the blog going, if you don't mind my asking? I miss your posts.

Hapy Easter! Bev

Comment from psalmist

Excellent

Bev, this is just delightful. I like it told from the POV of the hairdresser. You could make a series out of this with various characters that come in and out of the shop. I confess I feel a little like Fawn right now. The gal who does my hair just had major surgery. She works out of her home, so I don't have anyone to fall back on and my hair needs cutting. I blush to think how selfish I'm being. Thanks for writing this and giving me a chuckle. Love the ending and the way Fawn just seems to be able to get her way. Linda

 Comment Written 05-Apr-2012

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reply by the author on 05-Apr-2012

Hi, Linda. Oh I do understand your situation, I have gone through a similar situation with my young hairdresser and will again, as she plans on having three more kids!

Thanks so much for your great review and encouraging words, Linda. I always value your viewpoint.

Happy Easter, Bev

Comment from bookishfabler

Excellent

I was interested in htis story from start to finish. I was home sick this week and watched a whole bunch of Tabatha Takes over episodes, so my frame of mind was right on cue for this story. Great job, no nits or spags.
hugs Heidi

 Comment Written 05-Apr-2012

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reply by the author on 05-Apr-2012

Hi, Heidi. I like that show. She's a tough lady, but the results are always worthwhile. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing so generously, Heidi. I really appreciate your support! Hugs, Bev

Comment from barkingdog

Excellent

Ooh, don't you just want to sock girls like that. I wonder if she really doesn't realize how she uses people. Fifty bucks sounded like a lot to me. Maybe not. I don't have my hair done.:) But if she was using daddy's credit card, she could have left two-hundred for all of the trouble she'd been all day to Nikki.
Anyway, you did a good job contrasting these women: the leisurely rich girl and the working woman.

Love the Lion's word 'noive.' And the way you used it here. I see the lions mane and then Fawn's-- a mess.

-station(,) and I

-spastic(,) and she

 Comment Written 05-Apr-2012

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reply by the author on 05-Apr-2012

Hi, Ellen. That's a connection I hadn't made - the two manes - how clever! I swear I had comma blinders on when I wrote this. You can tell I'm juggling too much. Thanks for the corrections and the great review, my friend. Warm regards, Bev

Comment from AlvinTEthington

Excellent

You portray the self-centered woman well. Yes, I know someone like this and have been taken advantage of by her. You show the expertise of creatures like this. This needs a language warning. An excellent character study.

 Comment Written 05-Apr-2012

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reply by the author on 05-Apr-2012

Thank you, Alvin, for your suggestions and excellent review. I appreciate your time and interest. Warm regards, Bev

Comment from ameen786

Excellent

Bev my friend, four people with four different attitudes for the same problem...Fawn. Lucille, a well cultured/mannered lady who appreciates/understands the owner Nikki's dilemma; Nikki, a true professional/business woman; the chauffeur forced to accept his place and the heroine with a bitchy attitude, my friend, you did a great job with this outstanding write, thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 04-Apr-2012

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reply by the author on 05-Apr-2012

Thanks so much, ameen. I always enjoy hearing from you and getting your good psychological insights into my writing. As always, I much appreciate your support and great generosity. Warmest regards, Bev

Comment from Rdfrdmom2

Excellent

Writingfundimension:

I suspect most of us have one person in our lives who
could rival Fawn in terms of the stories they are willing
to spin to entice us back into their webs. I have a
friend who will tell a tall tale even when the truth
would do.

thanks for sharing
love,
jan

 Comment Written 04-Apr-2012

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reply by the author on 05-Apr-2012

Hi, jan. I've only known a few women like, Fawn. One gal had untreated borderline personality disorder - the havoc she brought into everyone's lives was disgraceful. But she could charm the blush from a rose.

Thanks so much for stopping by and taking to read and send along your excellent review. I really appreciate it! Hugs, Bev