Child Abuse
Warning! This is a raw biographical write41 total reviews
Comment from ennahanid
I don't apologize for having given out all my 6 stars, just such good writing in here but I am definitely sorry I don't have one left to give you.
This is a very powerful and inspiring write.I ap;;ud your honesty, your voice and appreciate as strong as you are, this quite possibly still was not an easy write to do.
Thank you very much for this
Dinah
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2012
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I don't apologize for having given out all my 6 stars, just such good writing in here but I am definitely sorry I don't have one left to give you.
This is a very powerful and inspiring write.I ap;;ud your honesty, your voice and appreciate as strong as you are, this quite possibly still was not an easy write to do.
Thank you very much for this
Dinah
Comment Written 21-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2012
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dinah, I wrote this more for the painful voices on site, wanting the hurting one's to understand there's someone else out there who gets their loss and also to try and inspire courage in both the victims and the people who suspect, but are afraid to act. thanks for reading.
Comment from poetbear
Teachers are certifed reporters and it is our job to report things of this nature that said this is a very important write.
Some people react before they think and that doesn't help either.
Befre yu speak up be very sure because destrying a family that should never be accused isn't right either.
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2012
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Teachers are certifed reporters and it is our job to report things of this nature that said this is a very important write.
Some people react before they think and that doesn't help either.
Befre yu speak up be very sure because destrying a family that should never be accused isn't right either.
Comment Written 21-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2012
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A very good point you make,
Comment from wordsfromsue
Thank you for writing this. It's never easy to share stuff of this nature. It was interesting to read how it affected each of the women in your family and how each chose to cope with the aftermath.
I am just beginning to deal with an abuse issue from my very early childhood. It's hard to understand and make sense of the ways it's shaped my life choices.
Very powerful story.
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2012
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Thank you for writing this. It's never easy to share stuff of this nature. It was interesting to read how it affected each of the women in your family and how each chose to cope with the aftermath.
I am just beginning to deal with an abuse issue from my very early childhood. It's hard to understand and make sense of the ways it's shaped my life choices.
Very powerful story.
Comment Written 21-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2012
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Good luck, at least you are facing it. good start.
Comment from Judian James
This was not an easy read. I appreciate your solidarity with Avril and I understand your sense of responsibility to open the door to others so they realize they are not alone and it is NOT their fault. This is very well written and heart wrenching stuff, Ingrid. I'm one of those "beautiful childhood" people and feel blessed every day BUT I'm also aware that not everyone is so lucky and it IS my business to step up IF I should ever suspect abuse in any form.
One bit was very confusing for me. Read this over, out of context and I think you'll see what I mean:
"Tutored from birth to submit, obey and take my rightful place at a man's feet, the only thing I did right was to give birth to a son. A granddaughter would have felt her disdain. My son's daughter carries her middle name as a tribute to the grandmother who doted on him." say what??
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2012
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This was not an easy read. I appreciate your solidarity with Avril and I understand your sense of responsibility to open the door to others so they realize they are not alone and it is NOT their fault. This is very well written and heart wrenching stuff, Ingrid. I'm one of those "beautiful childhood" people and feel blessed every day BUT I'm also aware that not everyone is so lucky and it IS my business to step up IF I should ever suspect abuse in any form.
One bit was very confusing for me. Read this over, out of context and I think you'll see what I mean:
"Tutored from birth to submit, obey and take my rightful place at a man's feet, the only thing I did right was to give birth to a son. A granddaughter would have felt her disdain. My son's daughter carries her middle name as a tribute to the grandmother who doted on him." say what??
Comment Written 21-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2012
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My mother thought men were more importan than women. Having a son was easy to love, not the girls, She was constantly 'reminding' me the vakue of a man.
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Thanks Ingrid. I get it now but it still is a tad confusing (I think) the way it is written. Maybe, "in her eyes" before "the only thing" would do it. Just a thought.
Comment from NadineM
This is a sad, revealing look at the reality of abuse. I can feel (as good as anyone possibly can feel another's pain) your anguish through the words you've wisely chosen to describe this horror.
You and too many others have suffered incredibly, and I am deeply sorry for every bit of it. I do understand too well how the effects will last a lifetime.
God bless you.
I admire your courage to share and the wisdom you've acquired along the way so you're now helping others.
Thanks for sharing this with me.
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2012
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This is a sad, revealing look at the reality of abuse. I can feel (as good as anyone possibly can feel another's pain) your anguish through the words you've wisely chosen to describe this horror.
You and too many others have suffered incredibly, and I am deeply sorry for every bit of it. I do understand too well how the effects will last a lifetime.
God bless you.
I admire your courage to share and the wisdom you've acquired along the way so you're now helping others.
Thanks for sharing this with me.
Comment Written 21-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2012
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The psot opened a flood of PM messages from other silent victims. I'd have hope that it helped someone.
Comment from N.K. Wagner
It's the voices in my head that are the worst for me, Ingrid. "Knowing" I'll never be good enough, smart enough, successful enough. Every success is stained with failure, every joy tainted by the "truth" of unworthiness. There is all kinds of abuse. Some barely recognized as such even by the victims until many years later. After all, we "deserved it", then and now, because of our deficiencies, didn't we? The strong and lucky among us learn to function, learn to cope. But the voices are always there. Hugs, :) Nancy
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2012
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It's the voices in my head that are the worst for me, Ingrid. "Knowing" I'll never be good enough, smart enough, successful enough. Every success is stained with failure, every joy tainted by the "truth" of unworthiness. There is all kinds of abuse. Some barely recognized as such even by the victims until many years later. After all, we "deserved it", then and now, because of our deficiencies, didn't we? The strong and lucky among us learn to function, learn to cope. But the voices are always there. Hugs, :) Nancy
Comment Written 21-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2012
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Yes, I call it the haunting from the grave. We take up the responsibility to torture ourselves when their physicality no longer can... sad isn't it.
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It is indeed, Ingrid. But we are who we're told we are. At least in our own heads. It takes a lot of evidence to the contrary over a pretty long time to mute the voices. And they're quick to return when things go wrong. :) N
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you know I don't have the answers either, but thank you for sharing some of your moments as we trudge, trudge along.
Comment from peggles
Ingrid
my heart cries for you I want you to know I am also proud to know you after what you have endured how very strong and brave you are to write such a detailed and moving post
I hope that this reaches out to everyone who needs to hear it and be helped by your words
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2012
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Ingrid
my heart cries for you I want you to know I am also proud to know you after what you have endured how very strong and brave you are to write such a detailed and moving post
I hope that this reaches out to everyone who needs to hear it and be helped by your words
Comment Written 21-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2012
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Yes Miss Peggles that was the intent and I know some have already benefitted. Thanks.
Comment from Permelia
Thank god I was one of the lucky ones- an adoring two grandfathers, and a father who loved me deeply, and 4 wonderful brothers. However, one of my precious granddaughters was molested by the neighborhood grandfather- at the tender age of 5- and because she refused to tell in court what happened, he was only found guilty of exposing himself- as his lawyer let the original video of her crying and telling what happened, to be thrown out of the trial. I can't help but wonder how many little girls had he molested in the past. My heart aches for you but at the same time, I want to say I am also proud of what you have accomplished, and how strong you have become.
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2012
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Thank god I was one of the lucky ones- an adoring two grandfathers, and a father who loved me deeply, and 4 wonderful brothers. However, one of my precious granddaughters was molested by the neighborhood grandfather- at the tender age of 5- and because she refused to tell in court what happened, he was only found guilty of exposing himself- as his lawyer let the original video of her crying and telling what happened, to be thrown out of the trial. I can't help but wonder how many little girls had he molested in the past. My heart aches for you but at the same time, I want to say I am also proud of what you have accomplished, and how strong you have become.
Comment Written 20-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2012
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Thee tragedy is that a man can only be punished for what is known..if he did it to your little girl, ne's done it before. Thankd for the generous review.
Comment from Spitfire
Wow! This is awesome. What a courageous write. I found the story of your sister and the cats particularly interesting since I live in Florida and read in the news a similar story or maybe the same. I often wondered why people would take in so many strays. This is an insight for me. You need to enter this the WD's writing competition for essays. Deadline is May first. Cost is twenty dollars. If you need more info, google Writer's Digest Writing Competition. I think you'd at least place in the top ten.
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2012
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Wow! This is awesome. What a courageous write. I found the story of your sister and the cats particularly interesting since I live in Florida and read in the news a similar story or maybe the same. I often wondered why people would take in so many strays. This is an insight for me. You need to enter this the WD's writing competition for essays. Deadline is May first. Cost is twenty dollars. If you need more info, google Writer's Digest Writing Competition. I think you'd at least place in the top ten.
Comment Written 20-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2012
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She lived in Blountstown, near
tallahassie. Thanks for the very high rating and yes, maybe I will send this to WD. thanks for the encouragement. ingrid
Comment from reconciled
Hey...I tried to read this earlier, but I had to stop. Way to powerful, that kind of truyh cuts real deep. Never would i be able to reveal so much of my sorrow with anyone...let alone everyone, but your bigger than me. Like "Joyce Meyres" or something. You over came against all odds...boy lady I can relate to that...and don't really want too. well...thats twice so far you made me(NOT CRY) but made it hard for me to see(NL) ...love you lady...Michael
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2012
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Hey...I tried to read this earlier, but I had to stop. Way to powerful, that kind of truyh cuts real deep. Never would i be able to reveal so much of my sorrow with anyone...let alone everyone, but your bigger than me. Like "Joyce Meyres" or something. You over came against all odds...boy lady I can relate to that...and don't really want too. well...thats twice so far you made me(NOT CRY) but made it hard for me to see(NL) ...love you lady...Michael
Comment Written 20-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2012
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Michael, if my writing made you move into your own truth, then our meeting was prophetic. I didn't write this as a purge,,,I wrote about some of this crap a couple of years ago and really don't need to revist the place in writing, but lately there are a few people stumbling around that are in pain and mostly because they still can't say it out loud, or ironically even on a very semi-public forum. for those who are trembling within their fear of truth I sat down and threw this out in less than 2 hours. When you live within your reality, as long as you have given up fear, writing it down is easy. I've had two very painful PM from people who are still living within shame/blame and fear and for those people I wrote this essay.
Truth doesn't always mean digging into a cesspool, sometimes it means being able to look someone in the eye and with sincerity apologize and mean every word, acknoowledging your own ownership and the harm you've done...in a simple spat or a horrible senseless accusation.
Sometimes it's picking a dandelion and presenting it with the spirit of two dozen roses....truth in writing is probably even more important than filling days with it, that's painful...for everyone around you. If this truth I penned was on my shoulders as a daily shroud I would poison others, but when we reach into the emotions of our characters even in fiction, especially fiction it has to be real. It's what seperates good writers, good stories to a memorable experience....be safe butterfly...your wings are made of iron. ingrid
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I love you...in a pure way..Michael
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too bad, about the purity...nothing tickles an old broad's fancy than to think she has a paramoour lusting for her company...okay already...lol....in my day that meant lots of love, ok read it any way you want...just having my jollies up here in Canada.
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(lol) okay are you laughing at me too?...I'll laugh with you. After your latest release...I need too.(LOL) Love ya-Kid
