CRITICAL ... A-claim
a lesson in iambing and enjambing ...61 total reviews
Comment from writerwish
Your poem is so poignant. I love how you just tell it like it is. That is what we are here for. Feel free to critique my messes anytime. I still have much to learn and appreciate specific reviews. Good for you.
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2012
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Your poem is so poignant. I love how you just tell it like it is. That is what we are here for. Feel free to critique my messes anytime. I still have much to learn and appreciate specific reviews. Good for you.
Comment Written 21-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2012
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What a delightful review. Thank you so much and yep, I have a habit of doing that. Probably shoot myself in the foot a bit but sometimes you have to speak up. I shall try and drop in and check out some of your work this week...I see you just became a fan. Many thanks, hope I don't disappoint.
Cheers and happy writing.
Closet
Comment from bowls
I love it! That final line is absolutely priceless. Great advice in rhyming couplets. Yes, I think we've all experienced this in some form or another. Thanks for sharing your experience.
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2012
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I love it! That final line is absolutely priceless. Great advice in rhyming couplets. Yes, I think we've all experienced this in some form or another. Thanks for sharing your experience.
Comment Written 21-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2012
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Thanks so much and yes we certainly all should have by now. Haha
Cheers for a great review.
Closet
Comment from Kingsland
I got blocked for giving someone a very good review and five star rating. Because they didn't like how I wrote it. This was a whimsical piece of poetic art that many will relate to here on this site. I enjoyed reading it... John
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2012
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I got blocked for giving someone a very good review and five star rating. Because they didn't like how I wrote it. This was a whimsical piece of poetic art that many will relate to here on this site. I enjoyed reading it... John
Comment Written 21-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2012
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Oh yes, some people don't appreciate suggestions when it critiques a number of lines. I HAVE to be honest I am not unkind when I review and always try to exercise tact. At no time do I attack the author and always take care to say it is just an opinion...some people wouldn't know good help if it slapped them in the head. Glad you enjoyed my poem John.
Cheers closet xo
Comment from the blue pixel
Here I am, tongue hanging out of my mouth. Seems I've heard this poem somewhere before. lol Great title BTW Closet. You managed a nice little alteration of a certain expression in line 3 which was very smart of you. "and though you tout impressive rank you don't quite have it in the tank" is pure genuis and while I'm reading this with its wonderful enjambments, I am breathing through it or I'll die. lol "trill" is 'quaintly' British and appropriate and I see you speak of that new swimming stroke, "the ego stroke". Quite popular around these parts. "beat turds" is actually a new one me but you don't need to be Einstein to figure it out and your final line (I noticed how you use the copywrite sign and I hope others appreciate it too and the whole thing is hysterical but poetically speaking, metre perfect and rhyme original and it worth every one of six stars. I don't mind helping this piece of brilliance onto the Well Received list either. Fantastic Clo but you already knew that. I think I just about laughed over every second line on the phone so now I have filled in anything I missed. Just brilliant. xxx Pix
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2012
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Here I am, tongue hanging out of my mouth. Seems I've heard this poem somewhere before. lol Great title BTW Closet. You managed a nice little alteration of a certain expression in line 3 which was very smart of you. "and though you tout impressive rank you don't quite have it in the tank" is pure genuis and while I'm reading this with its wonderful enjambments, I am breathing through it or I'll die. lol "trill" is 'quaintly' British and appropriate and I see you speak of that new swimming stroke, "the ego stroke". Quite popular around these parts. "beat turds" is actually a new one me but you don't need to be Einstein to figure it out and your final line (I noticed how you use the copywrite sign and I hope others appreciate it too and the whole thing is hysterical but poetically speaking, metre perfect and rhyme original and it worth every one of six stars. I don't mind helping this piece of brilliance onto the Well Received list either. Fantastic Clo but you already knew that. I think I just about laughed over every second line on the phone so now I have filled in anything I missed. Just brilliant. xxx Pix
Comment Written 21-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2012
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Awww thanks Pixel...glad you enjoyed this one and I really appreciate the sixer and delightfully supportive comments. I know the version I tittered back and forth with you on phone was a little different but I needed to be as clever as I could...to prove my point...So glad you got some laughs at the obnoxious author's expense and there are plenty of these types lurking the halls of fs.
Cheers and I lubs ya... (someone gave this four extra pumps for me...they shall remain nameless though) LMAO
Closet xoxoxo
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I can probably take a guess at who did that wonderfully generous thing for you. lol Well done. xxx Pix
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I'm sure it would be a stearling one yes? Haha
xoxoxo
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, closetpoetjester, you did a great job writing this rant about the way some people aren't able to take criticism. i enjoyed reading it. i spotted one spag--and isn't that what we crave and seek instead of isn't what what we crave and seek.
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2012
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this is very well written, closetpoetjester, you did a great job writing this rant about the way some people aren't able to take criticism. i enjoyed reading it. i spotted one spag--and isn't that what we crave and seek instead of isn't what what we crave and seek.
Comment Written 21-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2012
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Hey jax, thanks for a delightful review. Yes this is about those tiresome ones who simply HATE being given ANYTHING critical at all. I thank you for th spag pick up too...I go fix - Cheers closet xoxo
Comment from Amy Comstock
Well, I for one enjoyed this and I do think I know who you are speaking of..just a guess of course! I applaud you for speaking your mind!! One thing...in your third stanza, is there an extra what? Thank you for sharing this and keep the reviews coming!!
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2012
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Well, I for one enjoyed this and I do think I know who you are speaking of..just a guess of course! I applaud you for speaking your mind!! One thing...in your third stanza, is there an extra what? Thank you for sharing this and keep the reviews coming!!
Comment Written 21-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2012
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Haha..THANKYOU and how did I miss that? LOL Yikes...I checked, double checked and triple checked and still manage to miss that one. Many thanks for your eagle eye and I really appreciate your applause. I can't do the flouncy bs...I gotta say it like it is...within bounds of course. haha Cheers Closet
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Third stanza first line I don't think you meant to repeat
[what] did you? This is quite amusing. I can see there is a little problem here. Sport needs to realize we all get unfavorable ratings. I even saw one for Brooke. I don't like it myself. I don't dock stars for simple fixes because it is so easy to overlook things ,like your what repeat,
when you edit your own work. My weakness is the apostrophe and capital letters. This is a well written work.
Honeycomb
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2012
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Third stanza first line I don't think you meant to repeat
[what] did you? This is quite amusing. I can see there is a little problem here. Sport needs to realize we all get unfavorable ratings. I even saw one for Brooke. I don't like it myself. I don't dock stars for simple fixes because it is so easy to overlook things ,like your what repeat,
when you edit your own work. My weakness is the apostrophe and capital letters. This is a well written work.
Honeycomb
Comment Written 21-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2012
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Whoops thanks so much for picking up the spag...i can't believe after checking, double checking and then triple checking that i still managed to let that spag in...Not to worry, all fixed and thanks so much for your wonderful support. It SHOULD be about the writing and improving it all we can...not the fluffy poetic bravado that lines the egos of plenty around these parts.
We will have a better site, less ill-will and much better poetry at the very least.
Cheers and yep it is hard to edit own work sometimes as we tend to miss these things.
Cheers closet xo
Comment from rama devi
Witty you with this humorous rant. i totally grok it, as I've faced the same situation a number of times. Especially annoying when your critique is sound and all they see are stars. The real value is in the former, not the latter, obviously, and your poem conveys this with wit and style and perfect da DUMS.
Especially chuckled at (and applauding) this section-
hey, I'm not holding loaded gun
this site is here for everyone
and isn't what what we crave and seek
a fair assessment with critique?
It's what you get, no rating change
I have no need to re-arrange
my forthright, honest, metered words
that polished up your off beat turds
assisting for a length of time
to strengthen glory in your rhyme
more flourish offered to your song
yet pride would have you say I'm wrong
no help you would accept from me
Effective word choice and rhyme here-
your effervescence lacked the fizz
I'm sorry, that's the way it is
Fun closing lines-
I write in proper da's and DUMS
(C)ritique That!
Three tiny suggestions-
*oh me, oh my, oh come(,) on sport
*and isn't what what we crave and seek (delete one WHAT)
*and last up(,) sport, yeah here it comes
Fun presentation too. Great post. Amen!
Warm smiles,
rd
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2012
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Witty you with this humorous rant. i totally grok it, as I've faced the same situation a number of times. Especially annoying when your critique is sound and all they see are stars. The real value is in the former, not the latter, obviously, and your poem conveys this with wit and style and perfect da DUMS.
Especially chuckled at (and applauding) this section-
hey, I'm not holding loaded gun
this site is here for everyone
and isn't what what we crave and seek
a fair assessment with critique?
It's what you get, no rating change
I have no need to re-arrange
my forthright, honest, metered words
that polished up your off beat turds
assisting for a length of time
to strengthen glory in your rhyme
more flourish offered to your song
yet pride would have you say I'm wrong
no help you would accept from me
Effective word choice and rhyme here-
your effervescence lacked the fizz
I'm sorry, that's the way it is
Fun closing lines-
I write in proper da's and DUMS
(C)ritique That!
Three tiny suggestions-
*oh me, oh my, oh come(,) on sport
*and isn't what what we crave and seek (delete one WHAT)
*and last up(,) sport, yeah here it comes
Fun presentation too. Great post. Amen!
Warm smiles,
rd
Comment Written 21-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2012
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Hey rama...my FAVOURITE editor and I mean that with ultimate respect. I thankyou for your favourable review and some people don't appreciate good critique when they get it...
Well I am taking yours and gonna go fix all dem dere spags...haha
Cheers and thanks for liking my little sporting rant.
Closet xo
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Thanks for your fun response dear Closet! And your fine compliment, too. HUgs, rd
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
I award you my last six...Phillipa... simply because this is most impressive - no other word for it...
I envy you your skill in iambic tetrameter, which I've never mastered. I've a job to keep up with other things, so just don't have the time to go into it more seriously.
As for reviewers... we are most definitely here to guide and encourage each other, and there are plenty on site who make positive suggestions which most of us welcome. However, there are a few on board who make absolutely senseless comments which get more than a bit tiresome. And yet when you look at quality of their work, one's amazed to find how poor it is. I for one truly appreciate a decent review from someone who knows what their talking about... and hope people can say the same of me.
You carry on as you have been doing, my friend. You're surely appreciated by many.
Margaret
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2012
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I award you my last six...Phillipa... simply because this is most impressive - no other word for it...
I envy you your skill in iambic tetrameter, which I've never mastered. I've a job to keep up with other things, so just don't have the time to go into it more seriously.
As for reviewers... we are most definitely here to guide and encourage each other, and there are plenty on site who make positive suggestions which most of us welcome. However, there are a few on board who make absolutely senseless comments which get more than a bit tiresome. And yet when you look at quality of their work, one's amazed to find how poor it is. I for one truly appreciate a decent review from someone who knows what their talking about... and hope people can say the same of me.
You carry on as you have been doing, my friend. You're surely appreciated by many.
Margaret
Comment Written 21-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2012
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Oooh what a terrific review Margaret. Thanks so much. Your sixer is appreciated in full and yes the reviewers job is certainly a hard one. Honest ones get it in the neck...fluffy ones also get a basting sometimes. Tiresome authors who simply are beyond reproach get on my goat at times...they seem to think rank takes preference over improvement...well it didn't last time I looked. LOL
Cheers and thanks for your support. It seems to be coming out of the woodwork for this one. Hmmm, I wonder why.
Thanks again and have a wonderful day.
Phillippa xo
Comment from Carrie Smith
Oh, my, what an on-spot overview of writer's expectations and little rant about your feelings. So much truth here. Oh, should 'maybe" be 'may be' in author notes? Just thought I'd throw that in,lol. xxSusan
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2012
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Oh, my, what an on-spot overview of writer's expectations and little rant about your feelings. So much truth here. Oh, should 'maybe" be 'may be' in author notes? Just thought I'd throw that in,lol. xxSusan
Comment Written 21-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2012
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Wow Carrie, thanks so much and yes maybe as a reviewer my expectations are too high of those ranked in the top ten or twenty. Thanks for the spag pickup in my notes...I go fix...thankyou sweety. Have a great day, your sixer has gone a way to making mine.
Closet xoxo
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Welcome, Closet. Well deserved rating. xx
